Don't Deny It: Chapter 01
Chikorita-Trainer1
T
Disclaimer: I don't own DC comics or the movie IT.
Author's Note: I'm a Damian+Colin shipper at heart, but it looks like DC is never going to bring Colin back. In the meantime, I can ship Jon+Dami, so that's what this story is about.
"What are you doing this weekend?" asked Georgia.
"Sleepover at Damian's," said Jon.
"How come you're always hanging out with that 7th grader?"
"He's my best friend," Jon answered.
"Yeah, but how do you even know each other?" Georgia persisted. It was unusual that 4th graders would interact, let alone be good friends with upperclassmen.
"Our dads are friends," said Jon. "So he and I get forced to spend time together a lot."
"Do you even like him?" said Georgia. "He's kind-of a jerk."
"Yeah, he can be. But he's also nice."
"When? When you guys are alone?"
"Yeah," said Jon. "I mean, we fight, sure, but we also have a lot in common."
"Like what?"
"Look, I can't really talk about it right now. I have to meet him at the heliport," Jon deflected. "See you Monday!" And he dashed off, waving at his female associate.
"Hey," said Damian, waiting in the field for Jon to arrive. "Did you ask your parents?"
"Yeah, they said it's OK," said Jon.
"Good. Because my brothers said it's really good and we have to watch it," said Damian.
"I've never read the book. Have you?"
"No. I'll get around to it, when I have the time."
"What about the original miniseries?" asked Jon. "With Tim Curry?"
"No, I haven't seen it," said Damian. "Stand back!" The grass on the field flattened and blew in all directions as the helicopter, piloted by Alfred Pennyworth, descended.
"Good afternoon, young masters," said the butler. "Jonathan, I trust everything is in order for the weekend?"
"Yeah, Mr. Pennyworth," said Jon. "My parents have already been briefed!"
"Debriefed," Damian corrected.
"Shut up!" And the trio left the West-Reeve school and headed for Gotham City.
Once at the Manor, the boys did their homework and played with the dogs, watched TV and played video games until it was time for dinner.
"Will you boys be sleeping in the living room tonight, or in Master Damian's bed?" asked Alfred.
"Uh, I don't know," mumbled Jon.
"Depends on how tired we are," asked Damian. "If we want to stay up late watching movies, we'll stay in the living room. If not, we'll sleep in my bed."
"Very good, sirs," said Alfred.
"Father, where are we going to patrol tonight?" asked Damian.
"Wherever we get the most calls from," said Bruce. "Though if it's in a particularly dangerous venue, I will handle it while you boys stay downtown." Damian growled under his breath at that. "Don't give me that crap!" Bruce scolded.
"I'll have Jon with me, it's not like I'll be in any real danger!" he complained. Jon giggled.
"It's not only about YOU," Bruce explained. "It's also about ME having my peace of mind. What have I told you before?"
Damian rolled his eyes and recited, "If you don't KNOW I'm safe, then you can't EFFECTIVELY do your job."
"Exactly," Bruce stated. "I can't concentrate on my own mission if I'm worried, in the back of my mind, about you."
"Why don't you just NOT WORRY about me?" Damian asked, half-rhetorically.
"OK, Damian, I'll do that," Bruce answered sarcastically. "I'll just reach inside my brain and turn off the switch that controls my love for my children. Done. That was easy."
"D, just relax," muttered Jon, taking hold of his friend's hand underneath the table. "It'll still be fun, even if we don't end up fighting that many bad guys."
"But-"
"We can't control how we feel. Only how we behave," Jon whispered into Damian's ear. The thirteen-year-old shivered at the sensation. He turned away from his father and looked into his friend's bright blue eyes. Both of them had been harboring a secret for weeks now, but weren't quite sure how to deal with it.
"Fine," Damian sighed.
After dinner, in the locker room of the Batcave, Damian and Jon changed into their uniforms. "You know it wasn't fair of you to say that to him," said Jon.
"What are you talking about?" asked Damian.
"Telling him to just 'not worry.' It's not possible to just TURN OFF your feelings. We know that better than anyone."
"Shh!" Damian hissed, looking over his shoulder. "I thought we weren't going to talk about that until…later."
"We're not talking about it," Jon whispered back. "I'm just referring to it."
"I'll be happy to refer you too a good doctor if you don't shut your mouth!" Damian whispered harshly, mockingly raising his fist, as if to threaten the half-Kryptonian with a punch. Jon only giggled.
"You're ridiculous," he sighed. Damian smiled, and then quickly forced himself to stop.
"Let's just go. Father, we're ready!" he called.
The night was productive, the trio of vigilantes effectively stopped several crimes and made it back to the Manor by about one in the morning.
"Can we watch the movie now, Father?" asked Damian.
"Yeah, you've definitely earned it," said Bruce, proudly.
"YES!" the boys cheered to themselves.
"Has Mr. Pennyworth already gone to bed?" asked Jon.
"We can make our own popcorn, Jon, it's not that hard," Damian interrupted.
"I know, I just wanted to say goodnight to him," said Jon.
"Come on!" Damian said excitedly, pulling Jon to the locker room so they could get changed.
"Goodnight, Mr. Wayne!" Jon called. Bruce chuckled. He was so happy that his son had a best friend.
"Want to watch it with all the lights out?" asked Jon.
"I don't think it's that kind of scary," said Damian, pulling one of his older brothers' oversized T-shirts over his head. "But sure, if you want."
"Cool!" said Jon, who had also changed into his pajamas. The boys went into the living room, popped a bowl of popcorn, and curled up together on the couch, their legs under a blanket.
The movie opened with a little boy asking his big brother to make him a paper boat to float down the drenched streets during a rainstorm.
"This is so old-timey," Jon commented. "Who does this anymore?"
"You're from Smallville, you tell me," said Damian, turning his head to face his friend. Jon just grinned, flashing his brilliant smile at Damian.
"I'm not from Smallville. I'm from Hamilton," Jon corrected.
"Oh right. My mistake," Damian fake-apologized. The two boys just leaned against each other, grinning.
"Oh my gosh, that's freaky!" Jon gasped when the clown's face emerged from the darkness of the storm drain.
"Please. You ever fought the Joker? This guy's got nothing on him," groaned Damian.
"Shh!" Jon shushed his friend.
"Oh, that's the kid from Stranger Things," Damian commented as the movie went on.
"My parents won't let me watch that," Jon commented.
"They won't let you watch Stranger Things but they WILL let you watch a movie about a clown that eats children?" Damian asked. Both boys laughed.
"Well, this is a special occasion," Jon explained. "They said I've been so good lately that I've earned it."
"Makes NO sense, but OK," said Damian. "I mean, with all the stuff we're exposed to and all the people we fight, what are they trying to protect you from?"
"I don't know- OHMYGOSH!" Jon jumped when the painting of the woman came to life and approached one of the characters.
"Jeez!" Damian breathed, clutching Jon's thigh under the blanket. "Yeah, that was freaky," he admitted.
"You're not scared, are you?" Jon whispered.
"Not when you're around," Damian sighed back. The two boys stared at each other for a few seconds, then tore their gazes apart and went back to looking at the screen.
"What movie is this?" asked Bruce, as he walked into the room with a magazine under his arm.
"It," said Damian.
"Ah yes, the evil clown movie," Bruce said, unimpressed, as he sat down in a chair.
"I know, right?" Damian boasted, as if he hadn't been frightened just a moment ago. Bruce Wayne, having encountered the Clown Prince of Crime more often than he'd like to be able to recall, sat back and watched the story unfold. Jon and Damian were actually a bit relieved- not because they were too scared to watch the film without an adult present, but because they didn't trust themselves to be alone together.
By the time the bully Patrick had been eaten alive in the sewers, Bruce jumped a little. "Jon, do your parents know you're watching this?"
"Yes, Mr. Wayne. They said it's OK," said Jon. "They actually said they believe it's a rite of passage for a kid to be scared out of his wits at at least ONE horror movie in his life."
"Are you kidding me?" Bruce laughed. But then he realized how silly a concept it would be for a man like him, Batman, to think to criticize other parents for what they allow their kid to be exposed to. "I mean, yeah. In a way, that's true."
As the movie went on, the three individuals talked less amongst themselves. Bruce seemed to be very engrossed in the picture; probably more than he expected to be.
At the climax, when all of the Losers Club were together in the sewers, and Bill was approached by Georgie, who was missing an arm and clutching his little paper boat, Bruce seemed to squirm a bit. It went unnoticed by Jon, but Damian, who fancied himself an even greater detective than Batman, took heed of the signs of discomfort that his father was displaying.
"Take me home, Billy," said the little boy onscreen. "I want to go home! I miss you, I want to be with Mom and Dad!"
"I want more than anything for you to be home," said Bill. "With Mom…and Dad…I miss you so much."
"…I love you, Billy."
"I love you, too," said the older brother. But then he tearfully raised the bolt gun at the child's head. "But you're not Georgie." And fired a bolt into the kid's head. The kid fell back, apparently dead, and then transformed back into Pennywise.
Bruce got up suddenly and left the room.
"Your dad's scared of a clown!" Jon teased.
"My father is not afraid of anything!" Damian defended. But the thirteen-year-old stretched his neck to turn his head and watch as his father disappeared into the darkness of the Manor, and didn't return.
The movie reached its conclusion, with the older brother finally accepting his little brother's death, and his friends comforting him. But instead of saying THE END, the movie just said CHAPTER ONE.
"When's the next one coming out?" asked Jon.
"Not sure yet. Ask Siri," said Damian, flipping the blanket off of their laps and getting up from the couch. "You want to sleep here or in my room?"
"Definitely your room!" said Jon, all freaked out from the movie. "I mean, if that's OK-"
"Yeah, it's fine. I just need to go check something," said Damian.
"OK, I'm going to go brush my teeth," said Jon.
"Father?" asked Damian, entering Bruce's room.
"You boys going to sleep?" asked Bruce, looking up from his magazine.
"Yeah, in a minute. Are you alright? You left kind-of abruptly during that movie," said Damian, crawling up onto the bed. "Were you scared?"
"Not scared-scared," said Bruce. "More like…triggered."
"By what? Clowns?"
"No. The temptation," said Bruce. "Of seeing someone you lost, who you really want back, but having to tell yourself that they're not real."
"Oh," said Damian. "When did-"
"Years ago. Jason," said Bruce. "Clayface had gotten a hold of Tim. Was using him to lure me out. He had disguised himself as Jason, and almost convinced me. He begged me to give him an answer as to why I let the Joker kill him. Why I didn't love him. But that's when I knew."
"What was?"
"Begging me for my love. That's how I knew it wasn't really him. Because Jason never would have asked that. Jason knew how much I loved him," Bruce said, with the slightest lump in his throat.
"I see," said Damian.
For all the bravado and appearance and intimidation, Damian sometimes forgot that his father was still a human being, with feelings and fears and regrets and all of that. It was very humbling to see his seemingly-invincible father be reduced to an emotionally-fragile man, nearly brought to tears by an exceptionally well-done movie aimed at children. It reminded Damian that emotions were not something that could be as easily-controlled as he thought. Feelings are going to happen whether you want them to or not. Repressing them will only make them stronger. If one fears their own feelings, one is setting themselves up for difficulty and poor health. He realized then that suppressing his feelings was only going to hurt him in the long run.
"But all that aside, did you boys like the movie?"
"Yeah. It was really good," said Damian. "And I know that if I ever went missing, you and my brothers would never stop looking for me."
"That's right," said Bruce, reaching out and pulling his son into his arms. "You are very loved. I hope you know that."
"I do, Father," said Damian, letting himself be snuggled.
"You have so many people in your life who love you," said Bruce, burying his face in Damian's hair.
"I know, Father. In fact, I-"
"What?"
"Uh, it's, uh…well, I can tell you later."
"OK," said Bruce, giving his son a kiss on the top of his head and releasing him. "Goodnight, son."
"Goodnight, Father."
"Did you tell him?"
"No. It didn't seem like the right time," said Damian, flipping back the covers of his bed and letting Jon crawl in.
"We're going to have to bring it to light sooner or later. If we keep it a secret, they're bound to find out."
"I know. I just don't know if it's something we should act on. I'm not sure it's right."
"But, Dami-"
"I want to! You know I do," Damian insisted, resting his hand on the side of Jon's face. "We can't help the way we feel, but we can help the way we behave."
"Is it really wrong?"
"No. I don't know- the age difference- I don't know!" Damian said. "But I do…I do, you know."
"I know. Me too," said Jon. Damian smiled.
"And I want to kiss you so bad," Damian whispered.
"Then do it."
"But you're ten!"
"So what? I understand the situation in front of me. You're not 'taking advantage' of me. I want you to."
Damian just stared deeper into his friend's eyes and leaned in, closer and closer. Jon finally took the initiative and closed the distance between them.
"See? And nothing bad happened."
"Goodnight," Damian sighed, and pulled Jon closer to him so that they were sleeping face-to-face.
The next morning, Damian was surprised to have woken up in Jon's arms. Why was it that this ten-year-old boy, who was so much less-experienced in life than him, was able to be the comforting, dominating presence? Damian was older, shouldn't he be the one who comforts and protects Jon? It didn't make any sense.
But here they were, cuddling as if they were a couple who'd been in an emotionally mature relationship for quite some time now. Damian felt more relaxed than he ever had in his life. Despite their age difference, he really felt as if he and Jon were equals. Three years is a big deal when you're kids, but for some reason, this dynamic felt natural. And more than natural, it felt right.
END OF CHAPTER 01
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