Positive

by Pleumeleuc

Edward never thought he would have this chance. Bella never wanted it. Best friends for years, they've experienced adversity and triumph together. But how will they get through this time, when they're at cross-purposes? Written for KD Masen for FAGE2.

FicAwesome Gift Exchange- TAKE 2
Title: Positive
Written for: KD Masen
Written By: Pleumeleuc
Rating: M
Summary/Prompt used: Edward never thought he would have this chance. Bella never wanted it. Best friends for years, they've experienced adversity and triumph together. But how will they get through this time, when they're at cross-purposes? Edward/Bella, AH, Romance/Family

If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this exchange visit the Facebook group: Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps

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I felt the contents of my stomach churn, and groaned as I lunged back towards to toilet. I'd only ever felt this sick before with a hangover, or maybe that one time I had bad sushi. I was pretty sure it wasn't alcohol or dodgy fish that was making me feel so bad this morning, but I wasn't sure if the nausea was because I'd just found out I was pregnant, or if the new life inside my body was making its presence felt.

Yes, I'd just peed on a stick, which was unsanitary and strangely embarrassing, and not something I'd ever imagined myself having to do. I had a five year plan!

"This can not be happening", I muttered as I wiped my mouth. I sat back down on the edge of the bath as memories of that night came flooding back.

PPPPPPPP

We had been out celebrating with friends, and the champagne had been flowing. It felt good to have a night off, I had been working hard for the last few weeks writing up an article for submission to a prestigious academic journal. I loved my work, you could say (and many people did) that I lived for it. I was hopeful that that the research I was doing would one day soon make a difference in the lives of people suffering with cancer. Work was a personal mission for me. As a teenager, I'd watched my cousin Jake slowly succumb to the disease taking over his body. At the same time, I'd met and become fast friends with Edward. He was a patient on the same ward as Jake.

But enough of that, tonight was Rose's night. She'd been offered a new job. Like me, she was driven to succeed professionally, although in a very different area. Rose was a sports journalist, and had been offered a role she had always wanted at the Seattle Times. It was quite a step up from Podunk Press, but she had worked harder than anyone else for it, and proved herself time and again. She was married to Edward's brother Emmett, who until recently has been a semi-professional athlete. When their first child was born, Emmett retired to become a stay-at-home-dad, and now looked after little Alice and Jasper while Rose was on the road covering ball games.

Champagne always goes straight to my head, so I should have known it would be a messy night. Edward had been drinking too, tequila maybe? In any case, neither of us were in a fit state to drive home, so we got a taxi back to Edward's like we had dozens, maybe hundreds, of times before. His apartment was closer to the restaurant we had been eating (and mostly drinking) at, and his king size bed was more comfortable than my own smaller queen. I had stayed with him so many times before and nothing had happened. Until this night.

PPPPPPPP

I was naked.

In bed with my best friend.

I couldn't quite remember how we got there. He was naked too, and hot, it's gotta be said. I'd seen him with his shirt off many times, but I'd never noticed how long and lean his muscles were, and I'd certainly never wanted him this way before. I remember that one minute we were coming through the front door, giggling like schoolgirls about something Emmett had said at dinner, the next we were pulling at each other's clothes, breathing heavily, grinding together in the hallway. I could feel his hard! cock against my stomach and moaned with appreciation. The next thing I know, I was on my back on his dark blue sheets, and he was between my legs … making me feel surprisingly good. The man's got talented hands – now that was something to think about when I was more sober.

Then he moved over me, and lowered himself into me. I could feel his weight settle in the cradle of my hips, and the blunt head of his cock push its way into my wetness. It had been a while for me, and I felt twinges of pain with Edward's first couple of thrusts. I realised that I hadn't actually seen his cock, yet it was already inside me. I wanted to giggle again, but then he moved, and his cock was somehow rubbing against my clit. Much better. Just as I could feel the tingling in my thighs building up to my orgasm, Edward gave a few quick, deep thrusts, his body stiffened and his weight fell on top of me. He muttered something unintelligible, rolled off me, and not five seconds later, started snoring. Thankfully he didn't seem to hear the sound my pussy made as he pulled himself out!

Fabulous. I was completely embarrassed, unsatisfied, and the bastard had left me to lie in the wet spot. But I was still too drunk and too tired to want to do anything about it, so I just closed my eyes and rolled over. I'd think about it in the morning.

PPPPPPPP

My mouth felt like it was lined with sandpaper and cotton wool when I woke up the next morning. I lifted my head and looked around, as I realised I was in a strange bed. Okay, not strange, I'd been here before, but never naked! with Edward. My head fell back against the pillow as I remembered what had happened. We. Had. Had. Sex.

Keep breathing Bella!

I needed a plan. While a walk of shame was a certainty this morning, I was hopeful that Edward and I could deal with what happened without too much awkwardness. Right? Right? We were adults, consenting adults apparently, and we were drunk. That's all.

Right, keep breathing Bella!

Next to me, Edward moved a little and I could feel his hard cock pressing into my hip.

No, I can't do this, I can't face him today, not while I'm this hung over and certainly not while we're still naked. I quietly slipped into my clothes from the night before, and let myself out of his apartment.

PPPPPPPP

Of course Edward knew what all my favourite foods were, so when I answered the door to him only a few minutes after I got home from work, it was no surprise to see him holding s pizza box from Aro's, the best pizza place I knew.

I could spot a peace offering when I saw one. "Double beef, and pineapple with anchovies I presume?" I asked, with a hint of a smile. "Come on in."

Edward lay the pizza on the table, and put the Diet Coke in the fridge. There were so many foods I wasn't supposed to eat while pregnant, I was so glad that pizza wasn't on that list.

He was taking plates out of the cupboard as he said to me "I've got a proposition for you."

"Let's eat first, Not that I have a problem eating cold pizza, but I'm starving!"

Some time later, feeling stuffed (in a good way), we sat on the couch facing each other.

"Please hear me through Bella. I've thought of little else since you first told me you were pregnant, and I think this can really work. I know you have reservations about this baby. It's certainly surprised us both. I never thought I could be a father. After all the chemo I had as a teenager, I was told I'd be shooting blanks for the rest of my life.

This just feels like such an amazing gift from ... I don't know who. I know I'd be a good dad. I looked into adopting a few years ago, but as a single man, I was told that my chances of success were slim.

I really want this baby, Bella. I want to be a father to this baby, I want to change nappies, to teach him or her how to ride a bike and drive a car. I really want this Bella, and I'm prepared to do it alone if need be."

I was glad I was sitting down, that was the last thing I expected Edward to say. We'd never really discussed kids before, but I had always assumed he was career-minded, like me.

Wrongly assumed, it appears.

"What exactly are you proposing Edward? I don't understand. We're friends, we're not a couple. I guess we've never really talked about this kind of stuff before, but I thought you knew I didn't want children at least."

"I know you've said that before, and I never thought I'd be able to have kids of my own. But this has been rolling around in my head for a couple of days, and the more I think about it, the more excited I'm getting.

And logistically, well, I haven't exactly thought it all through. Just, please, don't do anything drastic until we've hashed through everything, okay?"

"Okay", I replied, and Edward seemed to let out a breath. "So, this is really something you want, huh, this baby?" I was trying to get my head around this. My only real reactions to my pregnancy had been shock and disbelief so far, I couldn't believe that I was pregnant, and although I hadn't reached this point for sure in my mind, I guess I assumed that I wouldn't continue the pregnancy.

I knew I needed to start making definite plans, and like Edward had said, we needed to talk a lot of stuff through.

What would it be like to have a big, pregnant belly, I wondered. I had heard some horror stories from Rose about the less glamorous parts of pregnancy, she certainly didn't pull any punches about what was happening to her body at each step.

I decided to let myself imagine what it would be like to have a baby. To have a little person depend on me.

PPPPPPPP

I looked again at the grainy sonogram picture on my bedside table.

My little girl.

No, not mine. Edward's.

I was happy Edward had convinced me to continue with the pregnancy. As a scientist, I was intrigued by all the changes happening to, and within, my body. As a human being though, the fact that I was growing a while new person still made me catch my breath in wonder. I could feel little kicks and rolls on my belly, and when I lay my hand on them, she seemed to calm. Edward still hadn't felt the movements, much to hid frustration, so for now they were something that I alone shared with the baby.

I sighed and turned off the light. I tried to get comfortable, but my belly already made it uncomfortable to sleep on my back. Not that sleep was coming easily to me these days. As I dozed off I asked myself if I was making the right decision?

PPPPPPPP

When I woke a few hours later, I felt disorientated for a moment, then the pain came again, and I realised that was what had woken me up. Surely this wasn't what the midwives meant when they talked about Braxton-Hicks contractions! Ouch! I counted to ten, and controlled my breathing, willing my body to relax. Once the pain eased, I resettled myself for sleep, only for the pain to return once I was on the verge of dozing off again.

I lay there in the dark for several minutes, my brain too foggy in that middle-of-the-night way to process anything other than pain, breathe, relax. A thought wormed its way in, perhaps if I got up and moved about, the pain would go away.

So I wriggled over to the edge of the bed, and hauled myself into a sitting position. There's nothing glamorous about this pregnant woman! I felt a little nauseous, but not like I had earlier in the pregnancy. Thinking a midnight snack might help take my mind off things, I made my way down the passage to the kitchen. I wanted a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.

When the next contraction hit, I was pouring milk into a glass. The glass never stood a chance as I held tightly to the counter and watched the milk drip on to the floor as it felt my insides were being twisted around. I expected labour to be painful, but surely I shouldn't be in this much pain at 24 weeks?

"I think something is wrong," I finally managed to whisper to myself. There was noone else to hear, as I had yet to take Edward up on his offer to move into one of his spare rooms.

Okay, think. Call the hospital. No, call Edward, he would know what to do.

PPPPPPPP

When we got to the hospital, the midwife was waiting for us. She got me settled in a bed while Edward was parking the car, and called the OB. She was just setting me up with some monitoring when my OB walked in, with Edward just a few steps behind her.

I had to lie on my back on the bed, but with my right hip on a foam block, so I was twisted toward my left side. The midwife put two wide straps, which reminded me of seat belts, tight around my belly, they each had a round disc that was covered with gel then placed directly on my skin. I was told one of the discs was to monitor the baby's heart beat, the other would monitor any contractions I might be having.

Then they told me I couldn't move! If I had been less worried about what was happening to my baby, I would've thought this was some kind of torture device, especially the way the baby was pressing on my bladder!

Hearing the baby's heart beat again was such a relief. I looked at Edward and could almost see some of the tension leave his body.

I could see numbers and graphs on the unit that the monitoring straps were hooked up to.

I could tell by the look on my OB's face that she was concerned. She waited for another contraction to pass before she spoke.

"Bella, it seems your contractions are real ones, not Braxton-Hicks as we had hoped. Your body has gone into early labour. It's too early for your baby to be born, so we're going to have to stop it. We'll give you some drugs, and I'll also need to do a procedure where I put a stitch in your cervix to help keep it closed. If all goes well, we'll remove the stitch a few weeks before your baby is due, and you should still be able to give birth naturally."

She looked at Edward and me. "Any questions? Edward? All okay?"

Edward looked as dazed as I felt. While I understood the science of what was happening to me, the experience of it was something else.

Edward just shook his head, "As long as my girls here will be okay, I'm okay" he said, smiling at me.

"Let's get started then" my OB said.

PPPPPPPP

The trip home from the hospital was short, and mostly silent. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing my baby girl in the screen, hearing her heart beat, and thanking all the deities I could think of that she was okay. Edward finally spoke as we drove into the garage.

"I've set up the guest room for you. There's a tv and DVD player in there, and you'll have your laptop, so hopefully you won't be too bored."

I grumbled under my breath, not because I wasn't grateful for Edward's thoughtfulness (I was!) but because I wasn't looking forward to a week of bed rest.

As I lay in bed that night, with my hands on my belly as if holding my baby, I realized I had started to think of her as *my* baby. How could I fail to become attached to this little person? I had taken her for granted, I suppose. That my pregnancy would just go along smoothly, and everything would be fine. I was shocked to discover today how many pregnancies end before the woman even knows she's pregnant (about 1 in 4) and even more that about 1 in 100 pregnancies end in late miscarriage or stillbirth.

I had thought that stillbirth just didn't happen these days! I guess the naive days of my early pregnancy were well and truly over!

I was struck by what a blessing this baby truly was, whether or not I had active role to play in her life beyond the next few months. Pregnancy had certainly changed my outlook on a lot of things, and made me think about what was truly important. While I loved my work, I now understood how important friends and family were to me.

And Edward, what was I going to do about him? I'd seen a side of him recently that I'd never seen before. He was going to make such a great dad. Besides that, I'd spent a lot of time thinking about that night, remembering … Damn pregnancy hormones! They were making me feel like I had a crush on my best friend.

I couldn't. Could I?