Even as he watched his wife sleep soundly beside him he wondered what had caused her to fall in love with him. He was too old for her as well as a werewolf. But she had fallen for him nonetheless, and in time he had fallen for her.
Tonks shifted slightly in her sleep, one hand resting on her swollen belly. Remus smiled before planting a light kiss on her forehead and sliding out of bed. He hated that he had to do this once a month.
Silently thanking the person who had invented the wolfsbane potion, Remus sat outside and waited for the change to come. As he waited he immersed himself in memories of his past. One in particular stood out in his mind and he smiled sadly as he thought it over.
It had been not too long after Sirius had died. Tonks had been sitting alone in the moonlight, silent tears sliding down her face. He had been taking a stroll, trying to forget about the previous night's events but it was proving to be nearly impossible.
He had hoped to find solitude in the garden, as had she. When they realised the other was there they became had embarrassed. Tonks hastily wiped her tears away and Remus pretended not to see.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly.
"No, it is I who should apologise. I should not have snuck up on you." He offered her a weak smile which was not returned. They stood in awkward silence for a few minutes before he had tried to leave.
"No! Wait-" she said suddenly. He turned to face her. "I, I don't think I want to be alone." It should have been a sign. He should have seen that she was using her grief over Sirius as a reason to get close to him; and he should have taken it.
"I'm sorry, I have to go," he said quickly before hurrying away. When he was a fair distance away he had turned, and saw that she had resumed her crying although he suspected that this time they weren't just tears for her cousin.
It was that moment when he fully realised that she had fallen for him. He was too old for her and he was a werewolf, but that hadn't stopped her feelings. It was also the moment that Tonks began to change. She was no longer the happy, clumsy young woman she once was, but had become noticeably more miserable.
Everyone had noticed. Most put it down to grief over her cousin, but some realised what it was. He was grateful when Albus had asked him to live with his fellow werewolves. There it was; the readymade excuse he was looking for that would explain his lack of contact with her.
The next few months had been hard for him, but they were nowhere near as hard for her. When they had married she had told him all that she had been through in the months that he had spent living with the werewolves. All the pain she had suffered. She had been terrified that he would not return.
Bringing himself back to the present, Remus stared up at the clouds that were masking the moon. He wondered when the transformation would take place. It would have to be soon. Thanks to the wolfsbane potion he would not cause any harm to anyone tonight, but would be able to curl up in a cave he had found near their house and simply sleep through it.
At this thought he suddenly remembered another memory that stood out when he thought of his relationship with Tonks. It was just after the Battle of the Astronomy tower, when everyone had discovered that Albus Dumbledore had been killed by Snape.
It had been just like before. Tonks had been sitting in the moonlight tears slipping down her face. He had been taking a stroll, attempting to clear his mind when he came across her. All at once the incident in the hospital wing had come back to him. The incident where she had confessed her love to him, and he had told her he was too old.
"I'm too old for her!" he yelled. As he took in the shocked faces of those around him he turned to Tonks. "I'm sorry. I can't. I'm a werewolf. It wouldn't be fair to you. You-" she had looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears, "you deserve better." He finished quietly.
"She wants you Remus!" Molly had all but screamed at him. "She loves you for who you are. She doesn't care that you're a werewolf!" Tonks had fled at that point, tears streaming down her face. Remus had left not long after her, mainly due to the uncomfortable stares he received from everyone in the room.
"I don't care how old you are Remus." Tonks was standing in front of him, tears still sliding down her face. "I love you."
"Tonks, I-" he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Tonks closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his. He didn't hesitate or attempt to push her away, but simply kissed her back.
Tonks pulled away and stared up at him, her eyes still glistening with tears. Without a word he cupped her head with his hand and tenderly wiped away a tear with his thumb.
"Remus-" He put his finger to her lips and took her hand in his.
"I love you too Tonks, probably longer than you me, but we cannot be together. I am a werewolf. It would be too dangerous for you if we were together."
"Don't you understand Remus?" she asked in an exasperated tone. "I don't care that you're a werewolf. I simply want to be with you."
A sound from behind him caused Remus to look up from his reminiscing. Tonks was standing behind him, one hand wrapped around her stomach.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" she said gingerly.
"Simply waiting," he replied with a weak smile.
"Would you like some company?"
"Haven't I told you a thousand times or more that it is too dangerous? That if something went wrong you could be hurt?" Tonks walked over to him and took his hand.
"And haven't I told you that I trust you completely? I don't believe you would hurt me, even as a werewolf." Remus smiled sadly.
"You know that is not true. What if I forget to take my potion?" he asked, trying to get her to see that although he loved her he was still dangerous.
"That's simple," she replied knowingly. He raised his eyebrow and leaned in towards her to hear her answer. "Don't forget."
Smiling, Remus wrapped his arms around her and brought his lips to hers. He inhaled deeply, breathing in her scent. When they broke apart he rested his chin on top of her head.
"Perhaps company wouldn't be that bad after all," he whispered. Even without looking he knew that she was smiling. This wasn't the first time she had won this fight, and they both knew that it wouldn't be the last.