Never Happening
Never happening. It will never happen. That's how it always will be. I can't keep on fantasizing about some fabulous dream world, where I'm stunningly beautiful, and he singles me out as the one he loves. He had no interest in me. He likes me as a friend. He lives in a different world. There are tons of girls that are stunningly beautiful in reality, and could catch his heart like a butterfly on a sunny day. He belongs with them. I'm just someone who hangs around him as much as possible. I love him, that is true, but he will never think of me-that way.
Every night before I go to sleep, I re-enter my dream world, where he follows me, and he dreams about me. But when I wake up, it's the same think-me, totally heart-struck, and him, totally oblivious to my feelings. He stole my heart, and refused to give it back. He locked it up, and lost the key. Now, he has my heart, and walks around with it on a chain. He can tell me to do anything, and I'll do it. If he tells me to jump off a cliff, I'll obey.
I don't know how I could be so…fascinatingly taken with him, but there's just something about him. Whenever I see him, my stomach does a little flip, and my heart starts doing gymnastics. I try to imagine that he does things because of me; talks to me in class, passes me in hallways; but I know it's silly. He just 'happens' to be there, as unlikely as it seems. I see him, always surrounded by girls; always popular, and beautiful, not like me. Little old me. Quiet and shy. That's me. When I first fell for him, he spent time with me; talked with me, ate lunch with me, but as soon as school ended, that wonderful thing we had were gone, as if we still hadn't met. I wonder that if I had known how I felt then, if things could have been different. If he felt that way about me too.
But, that wonderful time is gone, and everything is back to normal; he being popular, me being…well, me. I hate 'normal'. Normal for me is horribly depressing-no fun involved. I wonder if he's changed. If he's not the same amazing person I once knew back then. Back then, when things were perfect. When he liked me for who I was, not my looks, my grades, my friends, my anything. And that's what I love him for (aside from being amazingly handsome).
I know that I don't have much more time left with him, and in a year, I will be gone, and I most likely wont ever see him again. So my time with him is almost up. I don't think that anything serious could ever happen between us, but I'd like to believe it could. There's still a slight chance. A very small one indeed. But, hey-a girl can dream, can't she?
Authors Note: