James had decided. Today was the day that he would at last get the beautiful Lily Evans to go out with him, because he had a plan. And this plan could not fail.

Hello Diary, Today I am very happy. This is because at long last I have an amazing plan to get Lily Evans. Yes, I know what you're thinking - "not another one!", however this plan will work. Sirius (yes, I know!) thought of it, and he will tell me - he says - tomorrow.

*Flashback*

"Remus! Remus! I think James is dead! Come and rescue him, Remus! (No, go away, Frank Longbottom. Your name is not Remus.) Reeeeeeeemuuuuusssssss!"

"Sirius, shut up." Remus Lupin said in a tired voice. "James is not dead, and Frank was only trying to help."

Sirius' handsome face was drawn in a pout, clearly the result of James refusing to talk to him, and he refused to shut up, whining: "But Reeeemuuusss, you haven't even looked! How do you know he isn't dead?"

Remus put down his book and stretched, deciding to humour Sirius. "I know he isn't dead, Sirius, because he does this act every time his plan to get Lily fails."

Sirius frowned slightly, forgetting his previous problem. "So if he got Lily, he would stop doing this?"

"Yes." Remus picked up his book again, settling firmly back into the armchair.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" Sirius gasped like a schoolgirl, "Let's get him Lily! Let's get him a decent plan, and then he can stop lying on his bed pretending to be dead! Let's get him Lily!"

*End Flashback*

The next day, James sped into the library after Potions, searching desperately for his friend, Sirius Black. He spotted Remus in a chair reading and rushed over.

Remus looked up, surprised, and raised his eyebrows: "Why the rush, James? You aren't normally in here - oh, are you looking for Sirius? He said he'd come here once he'd got rid if his potions equipment." He said to the excited boy.

Just then, Sirius Black came hurtling round the corner, dodging some third years, and plummeted into the chair next to Remus. "Right," he said enthusiastically, "here's the plan. James goes to meet Lily tomorrow-"

"Hold it," Remus cut in, "Lily isn't speaking to James. She won't want to meet him!"

"Shut up! You're spoiling my beautiful plan! He can talk to her whenever he sees her, then. So James, the idea is that whenever you see Lily, you use one of these." He handed James a yellow and purple book, with "The Best Pick-Up Lines - How To Get Your Girl" written in red on the front.

"Pick-up lines?" Remus groaned. "He used them in second year, and remember how well that went? Lily pushed him into the lake!"

"Shush!" Sirius pouted. "These aren't any pick-up lines, these are 'The best pick-up lines of the century!' apparently! Of course they'll work!"

Remus looked doubtful, but managed with rolling his eyes. "It's on your heads. I have nothing to do with this."

"Hey, Liiiiiillllllyyyyyyyyy!"

"No, go away Potter." Lily replied.

"No, no, listen: did it hurt?" James persisted,

"Oh, not again!" Lily groaned.

James grinned, reaching the climax - "when you fell from heaven?"

Lily groaned as her best friends Marlene McKinnon, Alice Longbottom, and Hestia Jones started laughing. "It hurt about as much as when you fell from Hell."

"Good one Lily!" Alice grinned.

James pressed on. "Your eyes are blue, like the o-"

Lily stared. "James, my eyes are green!"

"I know, but green doesn't work so well. Let me finish. Your eyes are blue like the ocean, and I am lost at sea."

Hestia started giggling uncontrollably at this, and Lily face-palmed.

James continued, regardless: "You're looking at bit depressed-"

"I wonder why," murmured Lily sarcastically,

"I think you need some vitamin - ME!" James finished triumphantly.

Marlene burst out laughing, and Hestia was sobbing with laughter into Alice's shoulder.

"Lily, don't go! Listen, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'u' and 'I' together."

"That's actually quite cute," said Alice thoughtfully-

"Alice! I thought you were my friend! How could you!" Lily burst out- "So, James, you'd put 'u' and 'I' together?"

James nodded eagerly, "and I've got another one:Hey, don't I know you?-"

Lily's patience snapped: "I'd put F and U together. Go away before I slap you. Now!"

"I told you."

James and Sirius both protested at the same time.

"I told you." Remus repeated.

"Well, I didn't think she'd take it like that!" James replied, looking mock hurt.

"I told-" Remus began, but a well-aimed pillow from James stopped him.

"Pillow fight!" yelled Sirius excitedly, flinging a cushion in James' direction. All arguments about "the best pick-up lines" vanished under a rain of pillows as the boys began to pillow fight.