the sea, the storm, and me, a thoughtful recounting of events
You try to remember if you can swim.
The crisp air is whipping your clothes and you feel the sharp drop in your stomach, but it's worth it: it is worth it to not be an innocent bystander. But then, all of a sudden, your vision is blurred and blocked by a shock of blonde hair, a determined look cut in half by a sliver of fear. What is there to be afraid of?
But when your back hits the water and black dots dance in front of your eyes, you're afraid because your body is limp and you can't feel anything. Maybe you're paralyzed, you think, you've heard things like this can happen. You think you can see but the ocean is vast and maybe you aren't paralyzed because static flows through your veins when he grasps you around the middle.
When he carries you towards the shore, you rest your head against his chest and listen to his heart beating like a hollow drum. Maybe there's still water in your ears because it isn't as clear as it should be. Everyone crowds around you but as you get set on your feet, you find your courage and tell everyone you're fine.
You crack open crab legs like a boy. Just because you're a girl and you're supposed to be a lady (the host club would call you a princess), it doesn't mean you have to behave daintily. You crack and crack until your pile of discarded shells are larger than everyone at the table's scraps combined. You look at him and the distaste and sorrow on his face turns your stomach uncomfortably because you know it has nothing to do with your table manners.
When you vomit later, you convince yourself it's because you ate too fast; it has nothing to do with the looming thunderstorm (and it has nothing to do with him).
You lie. You're slightly afraid when Kyoya-senpai is leaning over you but you tell him you're not, that it hardly matters because he would never do that to you. But you're vaguely aware of some distant future where there is someone who would do that to you, that thing he threatens. You're too proud to think that way because you've fought hard for everything and while you aren't as blind as your privileged friends, you still think no one should treat you any way that you don't deserve.
And you're still not apologizing to that overprotective jerk. What would he know about needing to protect himself anyway? Maybe he says he understands, but he would never know it the way you know it.
You only leap into his grasp because you're scared. Why else would you do it?
He is someplace to hide and you need refuge from your fear and it isn't meant to be symbolic (but isn't it always?) You cling to his shirt and hope that you can associate this feeling of safety (despite how reluctantly you accept it) with every crackle and flicker of light.
But you won't ever tell him that. All you do is hope that you aren't alone the next time you hear the rumble of thunder.
notes: my first story of many in this category. i recently started watching ouran high school host club on netflix and i adore it; when i got to this episode (the sun, the sea, and the host club!), i finally got the character depth i was searching for. so, i wrote. this is also my first story in this point of view and since i'm mobile, it is currently unbeta'ed. be gentle :)