Pedophile- A person
with a sexual attraction
to children
It wasn't sexual
No. I just loved him.
His quiet innocence
His hair
that voice
I'd dream about that kid
that I was protecting him
from a fall
from his fall
I'm 17.
He's 10.
"Push?"
It's a catalyst.
my hand touches his
Shit
It's all going to go down from here
I can't touch him
any less innocently
than he is
but god damn
I want to
and god damn
I hate myself
"We'll play fireman."
He remembered.
I smiled.
He opens a little
Just for me
And back on the swings
I touch his hand again
and then his knee
and higher
higher
and suddenly
suddenly
he's ripped from me
What did I do to you?
I had to leave
Eight years later
and I'm a fireman now
and somehow
I found myself back home
My brother had to leave
I've got my own place
Fate brought you back
Fate decided jackets are funny
Fate's a bitch
Back at the park
The night is barely stretched out
almost morning
You held onto my jacket
You held onto the idea of me
You held me
You kissed me
I walked away
You asked me plainly
Am I ashamed of you?
I'm ashamed of myself
It's a fight
It's a discussion
You love me
I love you
and we got each other off in the bed of my truck
You're almost 18.
It's okay
You're timid
funny after you begged me to touch you
a little kiss and it's okay
You love me
The bruises?
They'll stop now, right?
He's gone
And the waiting
Oh god the waiting
You're almost 18
Sometimes I don't think I can make it.
You're 18
and I'm not gonna make it