You won't believe how overwhelmed I am right now. No, not in a bad way.

The wedding march is playing. My family on my left, and his on the right. It's perfect - so blissfully perfect.

As a child, I would dream about my wedding. I'd even plan the themes, the location, the flowers, all the way down to whether I'll have my hair up or down. I'd decided on down.

I would walk down the aisle, my groom, looking like the luckiest man alive, his grin from ear to ear. Mom, Dad, and my brother would be there, so awfully proud of what I've grown to be. Even my in-laws, would be proud of us - my best friends, my cousins, and everyone I've loved. It would be by the beach, at dawn, starting at exactly 5:00 am. When the minister finally says "You may now kiss the bride", the sun would be up high. And that would represent the beginning of a wonderful marriage.

Guess, what? That's happening right now. Only thing is - that is not my groom. Not my in-laws, not my day.

I look at my right, where my groom is supposed to be, but he's not there. That's Emily's groom - Sam.

The reality fell upon me so quickly that I was surprised I hadn't fainted. I looked at my right, where my family is - but of course that's Emily's family, too, since we're cousins and all that. I was looking for that look - that look that says "You look beautiful. This is your day. We're proud." But all I got was those pitiful stares, the one that instead says, "Poor dear, is she going to be okay?"

I then looked at Sam. He the same exact expression as everyone else. "Poor Leah", he says. "I did this to her", he says. "A kiss will make it better." Although, that was never said.

He used to, though. He used to whisper those kind of things to my ear, while I'm in his arms - anyone from a mile radius could feel the love we emanate.

He would constantly remind me how much he loves me. Show it in silly little things like carrying things for me, making me breakfast (bringing it at my house), making sure I woke up to the sight of him.

Sigh.

How times change.

Today, I woke up with a hangover, on some-guy-whose-name-I-didn't-know's bed, clearly still trying to get over the fact that the love of my life is marrying my cousin. Trying to somehow fill the void.

But that's impossible.

I arrive at the end of the aisle, and instead of staying in the middle, I walked over to the right, where the bridesmaids are. Yes - I'm the fucking bridesmaid.

Now it's the bride's entrance.

There Emily is. Walking down the aisle with Old Quil. That should have been me.

All of this should've been mine. My wedding. My groom. My day. But no, fate just loves making me miserable.

When destiny picked someone to torture, my name came up.

I look at Sam, then. His emotions clearly showing on his face. It's indescribable. He's probably not even aware of anything else right now. Not even his breathing. Just Emily. Of course. It's always Emily.

Old Quil then handed her down to Sam.

I felt my damaged heart fall down to little bite sized pieces.

And once the minister pronounced them officially married, those little pieces turned into dust.