The Great Ministry Prank
A One-Shot from the Familia Ante Omnia Trilogy
Everyone in the office watched as the person who had created them exited the room, Zack tilted his head to the side before he turned to Angeal and asked, "so… If we have free reign to prank and annoy the Ministry, does that mean I get to indulge myself?" As he asked that he started bouncing around the room while giving his former mentor his version of Puppy dog eyes.
Angeal groaned quietly while Genesis, Sephiroth and Tseng snickered at the tormented expression on the large mans face. Cloud and Aerith, however, had shaken their heads with fond smiles on their faces at the sight of Zack bouncing around like his nickname. "Just, please, remember that our creator asked us to make sure not to cause any permanent damage to property or people. Other then that I guess you can otherwise indulge yourself," Angeal finally said. He then gave a pointed glare at a certain red haired and clad man as he said, "that goes for you too, Genesis."
The blue eyed man tossed his bangs out of his eyes as he placed his right hand over his heart and said in a dramatically hurt tone, "Angeal, you wound me. 'Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul,' as if I'd permanently damage a person or object."
Both Sephiroth and Angeal stared at the man blandly before the both held up a hand and said in chorus while ticking off their points on their fingers, "you have injured many a cadet when bored. You've destroyed quite a few helicopters, desks, chairs, windows and swords in fits of either boredom or anger. Do we really need to go on," they asked him in deadpan tones while still giving him the same bland stare that they had given him before they had started listing the incidents.
The two men tactfully didn't mention the SOLDIER third classes that Genesis had turned into his clones with the help of Hollander or how much damage he had caused when he had attacked Junon and Shinra Headquarters. The red head had pouted at his friends but sighed and grumbled at them, "fine, I'll be on my best behavior and try very hard not to cause permanent damage to anyone or anything. But can I at least play Fireball Tag with Sephiroth or the Puppy," the Loveless obsessed man asked while shooting his childhood friend a pleading look.
Angeal blinked at the look before he said thoughtfully, "I guess that would be alright so long as you make sure that they have either a Blaze Armlet, Wizard Bracelet or a Mastered Elemental Ward equipped."
"What's Fireball Tag," asked Zack and Cloud in chorus, when the three First class SOLDIERS looked over at the pair they were startled that the two younger men had their heads tilted to the right and had the exact same look of curiosity on their faces. Three sets of glowing eyes widened as they realized that although Hojo had failed to turn Cloud into a Sephiroth clone he had unknowingly, with Zack's unwitting help, successfully turned Cloud into a partial Zack clone.
Angeal ended up answering the pairs question, "Fireball Tag is something that Genesis invented during a fit of boredom and Sephiroth was the only other person willing to play it with him. The game has two or more players, each person is equipped with some type of Fire Materia and some type of Fire absorbing Accessory or Materia. Tri-Fire can be used in a pinch but only if everyone in the building has a Fire absorbing accessory or Materia equipped to them. The rules of the game are simple: if you are the one firing at the other players then your goal is to hit the others with a fireball. The goal of the ones being fired at is to dodge the fireballs to keep from being it. If someone is hit by the fireball then they become the hunted and the one who was previously firing is now the hunted." Angeal rubbed at his goatee as he hummed thoughtfully before he said slowly, "you know, I can't think of a single time where there was more than two people playing the non combat version of Fireball tag…"
"Non combat version," Cloud said with a questioning lilt to his voice and look of curiosity on his face.
Angeal nodded absently as he said, "with the combat version it doesn't matter if the ones being targeted aren't wearing a Fire absorbing accessory or Materia. The purpose of the combat version of Fireball tag is to hit as many of your enemies as possible and take them out of the game."
"Oh," Cloud commented absently while he watched as Zack bounced around the room excitedly before he said in a firm tone, "well, we're not annoying or pranking the Ministry by staying in here." With that he turned around and strode out of the door, Zack shrugged before he strolled out of the office after his blond friend, he had nodded cheerfully at the Minister's personal secretary as he did so.
With a small giggle Aerith quickly followed the two men out into the hallway, Tseng was only one step behind her and glared at anyone who looked at her wrong. Sephiroth did the same as Tseng while Angeal and Genesis glanced at each other before they sighed in unison before following their friend/General out of the room.
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Cloud stood next to Aerith and listened as all four of the First Class SOLDIERS mocked the security of the building. "Sure this building is secure, it's as secure as a wet paper bag," Zack retorted. Unknown to him or the other three First Classes an Auror overheard his comment and bit his lower lip to prevent a laugh from escaping.
"Nice one, Pup, a little lame but nice," Angeal commented as he watched Cloud out of the corner of his eye and smirked when he noticed that the young blond was biting his knuckle to keep from laughing. Zack had beamed at the first two words out of his former mentors mouth but pouted at the rest of them, Angeal chuckled as he ruffled Zack's hair. He then stared into space contemplatively for several moments before he smirked as he said, "the security here is so poor that I bet an untrained child could break in." He had flashed Cloud a grin and commented on a level only a person enhanced to SOLDIER level could hear, "that is if the child is a Wutain named Yuffie."
To Angeal, Aerith's and Zack's mutual delight Cloud had started laughing, he had remembered how Zack had gotten mysterious messages and missions from the young thief. Zack had been confused as to how an untrained child could get into some of the most secure not to mention most dangerous places on Gaia.
Genesis smirked as he remembered the bold girl who had tried to steal some of his Materia, he had thought about reminding Zack that some of the Materia he owned originally belonged to Genesis. The red haired man almost jumped a foot when Sephiroth had commented blandly, "I bet I could go Jenova in front of them and they would either faint or panic rather then fight me."
"Don't you even think about it," yelled Aerith, Zack, Cloud and Tseng in chorus as they glared hotly at the silver haired cat eyed man.
"Or you'll be sleeping on the couch for a month," the normally cheerful and gentle flower girl growled at him. To the amusement of the other males the 'Demon of Wutai' actually stepped backward away from her and gulped before he started nodded rapidly in agreement.
"I'm almost tempted to tell Lord Godo when I see him again that all they had to do to get Sephiroth to back off during the war was to get Aerith on their side. Then have her threaten to withdraw her presence from his bed for a month if he didn't stop what he was doing," Zack heard Cloud mutter to himself. The violet eyed man snickered quietly to himself at that comment before he plastered an innocently confused look on his face when Angeal glanced over at him.
Over the last three days the four First Class SOLDIERS had systematically mocked all attempts by the Dark Lord, and the Wizarding World as a whole, attempts at immortality. They also had mocked the Dark Lord himself, the Death Eaters name and manner of dress, this was mostly Genesis doing the mocking but Sephiroth helped. It was only today that the four of them had started to mock the security of the Ministry, as he listened to them Cloud idly wondered if he should find something to do today.
During the first day of their stay at the Ministry, Zack had annoyed many of the more lazy wizards and witches by bouncing around and chattering non stop about the importance of squats to ones health. Tseng and Sephiroth had shadowed Aerith the entire day while glaring threateningly at anyone and everyone who might make her upset. Of course, Sephiroth had also snuck in kisses throughout the day, much to Aerith's delight and Tseng's disgust, as he stalked behind the cheerful woman.
Tseng had disappeared for most of day two only to reappear long enough to make all of the paranoid people currently employed by the Ministry to twitch, among them was a man that had a wooden leg and a fake eye. The way he made them twitch was by telling them exactly what they had done for the entire day. Cloud figured that Tseng had either found or planted a surveillance system, he voted for found because there was no way for Tseng to have planted a system during the limited amount of time he had been gone. After he found out about Time Turners, Cloud had changed his mind because that would be just like Tseng to plant the system then spend an entire day just watching what everyone was doing just to freak them out.
A group of Ministry workers had received a shock when they had walked into a room only to find all of the furniture on the ceiling as if the ceiling was the floor and the floor was the ceiling. None of them even noticed the man who snuck up behind them and cast a spell on them until they found themselves stuck to the ceiling as if gravity had reversed itself. When Cloud had questioned Genesis about the spell he had used later that day, the Materia master had said, "it's a spell I discovered after I had fused a Mastered Graviga and a Mastered Zantetsuken. It appears to be able to reverse the gravity on any object that it's been cast on for twelve hours, after the twelve hours are up the gravity for the object returns to normal."
On the third day, Zack had gotten bored and decided to play with his mini and frog transformation Materia, he wiled away hours casting the two spell on various Ministry workers but he kept casting Frog on one woman. When Angeal had found his former student the honor obsessed man had face-palmed before he asked, "why do you keep tossing the exact same spell at that woman, Zack?"
Zack had blinked up at the older man with an expression of honest innocent confusion on his face as he said, "isn't it obvious? She's already part frog, I'm just trying to help her get the rest of the way there but it's not sticking." Everyone nearby who hated Umbridge and had overheard the comment quickly had to stifle their laughter while Angeal had groaned at his Pup's logic.
As the large man walked away from the bouncing puppy he thought to himself, 'sometimes I wonder about his sanity…' The next morning Angeal once again questioned Zack's sanity but he was also now wondering about Cloud's sanity since Zack had managed to talk the blond into helping him place whoopee cushions and tacks onto random seats. By lunch time most of the Ministry was so paranoid over sitting down that even the Minister was standing up rather than taking a chance of sitting down on a tack or a whoopee cushion.
While Zack and Cloud had played with the chair seats, Genesis had taken it upon himself to cut partway through some of the chair legs. When a person finally sat down into one of the sabotaged chairs, the cut legs would break off and cause the chair along with it's occupant to fall to the floor.
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Cloud had been wandering around the Ministry when he found a room filled with mechanical items that didn't seem to be working. Which was odd to the blond since on Gaia they had made it possible to use certain items even in areas where the environments would normally prevent it from working. The blond finally shrugged off his confusion and went into the room to see if he could get some of the items to start working properly.
An hour later after he had started he had a few of the items up and running perfectly, a man with thinning red hair had come into the room around the time he had gotten the TV set and VCR to work. The man's eyes had lit up at the sight of the running machines and he eagerly asked the small blond, "how did you do that? What is it called? How does it work? What is it for?"
Cloud had ended up blinking at the rapid fire questions that the man had asked him before he tilted his head to the side as he asked, "who are you?"
The man then blinked himself before he gave the young blond a sheepish smile as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I guess got a little carried away and forgot to introduce myself. I'm Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department. Can you please answer my questions, I'm quite curious about muggle items you see." As he had spoken the last sentence he had gestured around the room to include everything inside it as something he was extremely curious about.
Cloud had chuckled quietly before he held out his right hand as he said softly, "I'm Cloud Strife, and I'll be happy to explain." Arthur had shook the younger man's hand firmly before he sat down so Cloud could begin explaining the answers to his many, many questions.
While Cloud was explaining what certain muggle machines were and what purpose they served to Arthur, Zack and Genesis had gotten bored. Zack looked over at the other man as he suggested, "how about we play Fireball Tag?"
"Sure," the red haired man replied absently before he asked just as absently, "do you have a Blaze Armlet and a Fire Materia equipped?"
Zack then checked his bracer to see what Materia he had equipped, which ended up being a Mastered Fira Materia, a level four Regan Materia, a level three Libra Materia, a Mastered Elemental Ward Materia, his mastered Frog Materia along with his level four Mini Materia. He said as much to Genesis and the red haired man had said, "good, if your Elemental Ward is mastered you won't need the Wizard's Bracelet or Blaze Armlet."
Zack nodded as he started doing squats, his actions drew the blue gaze of his companion who after much effort managed to tear his gaze off of the younger mans form. "Yeah, that's actually why I stopped wearing it, there wasn't much point in wearing an accessory that did the same job that a Materia that I already had equipped did," Zack said in between squats. Genesis watched in a mix of bemusement and torment, he had been surprised when Sephiroth and Angeal had told him that Zack did squats when he was bored or had to stay in one spot for a while.
"Good thinking, so shall we get started," the red clad First asked after a few more moments of torturing himself by watching Zack do squats.
Zack slowed down his squats then stopped completely, he then turned toward the other man as he said, "sure, why not." He then paused for a moment as his brow furrowed before he asked, "whose going first?" The violet eyed man tilted his head to the side while his glowing gaze locked onto the glowing blue eyes in front of him, the violet pair were alight with curiosity.
Genesis had blinked at the question, truth be told he hadn't thought that part of the game through, he paused for a moment to think about the question. Finally after he had thought about it for several moments he said, "we'll toss a coin. Each one of us picks a side and whichever side lands up is the first one that gets to toss fireballs at the other."
Zack thought about the suggestion before he had finally nodded in agreement as he said, "sounds good to me, Sir."
Genesis blinked at the title before he face-palmed and said through slightly gritted teeth, "my name is Genesis and I give you full permission to use it. So please, from now on if I'm not giving you a direct order as your superior do not call me Sir. Alright," he asked as he stared into the younger mans startled eyes. Of course the red haired man neglected to reveal the real reason that he didn't want Zack to call him Sir unless they were in a combat situation and he had to give the younger man a direct order rather than a request. After all protocol demanded that a subordinate refer to a superior as Sir when given a direct order so it wasn't as if Genesis could make the violet eyed man not call him Sir in such a situation should it arise.
Zack scratched the back of his head as he stared at the older man in slight confusion, he had noticed that the red haired man had twitched slightly when he had called him Sir but the dark haired First hadn't understood why. Truth be told he still didn't get it but if Genesis didn't want him calling him Sir who was he to complain, after all, for all Zack knew it could be that being called Sir made the other man feel old. "Uhh, sure thing," he had hesitated slightly before he said firmly while he stared into the other mans blue eyes, "Genesis." He had been slightly bemused and startled when the other man flashed him a brilliant smile when he had said the other mans name.
Genesis pulled out a coin and after he showed that it had the proper sides on it, instead of it being a double-headed or double-tailed coin, said, "call it." Zack called out dibs on heads and Genesis tossed the coin into the air between them, he then allowed the coin to fall to the ground without trying to catch it. After it spun around for several moments it tipped to the side and both men leaned down to see which one of them had won the toss. The red haired man snorted in wry amusement when he saw the head side of the coin staring up at him.
Zack tilted his head to the right then looked up at the other man before he said, "I guess that means it's my turn first, huh."
Genesis snorted but nodded as he said, "yes, it's your turn first but just remember," he stared at the younger man sternly before he continued, "once you hit me with a fireball, I'm it and you are the one getting the fireballs tossed at you."
Zack grinned as he nodded enthusiastically before he said, "of course, Genesis, that makes sense after all even in regular tag the person who's hunting becomes the hunter if they manage to tag someone."
The older man snorted before he tapped the younger man on the shoulder, when Zack looked at him in puzzled confusion the blue eyed First smirked at him. He had then darted forward and kissed the startled brunette on the cheek before he darted down the hall. Zack gaped after the elder First as he held a hand up to the cheek that the older man had kissed, "come catch me if you can," Genesis called back over his shoulder at Zack.
The violet eyed man huffed before he darted down the hall after the laughing red head and tossed a small fireball at his back. Genesis dodged the fireball by jumping up and landing on a ledge further up the wall. Zack growled before he leapt up after him and chased the red haired First all across the Ministry while tossing fireballs at him. A fact that caused quite a few startled screams out of the Ministry workers that saw him throwing the fireballs at Genesis, who had merely dodged them with a laugh.
An hour after the pair had started playing Fireball Tag, Zack finally hit the red haired First with a highly powered fireball. Which due to Genesis' Wizard Bracelet, merely gave him a boost of energy, one of the reasons that the red haired man loved playing the game even when he was the target was the boost of energy he got when hit. Zack cheered for a moment before his eyes widened as he realized that he was now the target and dodged a fireball. He quickly raced down an empty hallway away from the rather pyromaniac commander. As he ran away the brunette muttered to himself, "dang, and I thought Reno was the only pyro in Shinra. Don't tell me that all red heads are pyromaniacs cause I won't believe it!"
In a rather comfortable cave, it even had a couch, a bedroom, bathroom and in the room that held the couch was a TV with a VCR, a red haired man with blue eyes that glowed faintly suddenly sat up and glanced around wildly. Upon seeing nothing he plopped backwards back onto the couch where he had been napping as he muttered, "damn Fair is talking about me again. I just know it," he then closed his eyes and fell back asleep with a muttered, "hopefully it won't be too much longer before I'm back with ya, Partner. 'Cause I have to say it's been mighty boring without ya."
Elsewhere a dark eyed man paused in mid swing of an axe that he was using to chop firewood, he frowned as he looked around before he shrugged and got back to work. As he went back to work cutting the logs into firewood he muttered to himself, "you're hearing things, you old wolf."
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Three hours later, Angeal watched in amusement as his best friend ran away from Zack, apparently Genesis had managed to hit the brunette with a fireball earlier and was now the one being chased. He heard a chuckle come from behind him, when he looked he saw a woman wearing a monocle, she was watching the pair with a smile on her face. Finally she tore her gaze from the running Firsts and pinned him with a stare as she said, "I don't know who you all are or where you came from but you and your cohorts have been making things very amusing around here lately."
Angeal blinked before he gave her a wry smile as he held out his hand and said, "Angeal Hewley, SOLDIER First Class as well one of two Commanders of Shinra's SOLDIERS. It's nice to meet you…" He raised an eyebrow at her as if asking, 'so what's your name,' without actually asking her outright.
She huffed a quiet laugh before she took his hand and gave it a firm shake as she said, "Amelia Bones, Head of the DMLE." He gave her a blank stare at her title and it dawned on her that he had no clue as to what 'DMLE' stood for. "DMLE stands for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," Amelia explained to the broad shouldered man and saw as understanding dawned in his eyes. "How did you all come to be here? Why are you here anyway and what is Shinra?"
Angeal snorted at her questions but gamely answered her, "Shinra is short for the Shinra Electric Power Company started by President Rufus Shinra the First. His son Rufus Shinra the second is the vice president of the company. As for why the seven of us are here is simple, our job is to prank the Ministry and annoy the Minister of it." She blinked at that and wondered who had ordered them to do this when he said, "technically I'm not actually Angeal Hewley…"
She gave him an odd look at that so he explained, "the seven of us are by all technicality magical constructs with the memories and impressions of the people we look like based on our creators memories of them. So although we aren't really the people who we say we are we still have all of their emotions, memories and physical attributes which is how those two," he pointed down the hall at the pair playing Fireball Tag, "can jump around like that."
Amelia watched as Zack leapt over twelve feet into the air before he threw a fireball at Genesis who had dodged out of the way with a laugh. "So how long are the seven of you going to be here," she asked after watching the pair bouncing around.
"However long it takes for the magic within us to wear off or our creator retrieves and deactivates us," Angeal replied slowly. He hummed lightly before he said to her with a wry smile, "personally, I'm leaning toward the latter rather then the former since our creator put quite a bit of magic into making us."
The End for now unless my muse wakes up and decides to add more this will have to do for you all.