My name is Percival Wintersolsticius and then my leg got blown off by an anti tank mine. Unfortunately I set it there in the hopes of subduing some of the natives but the natives didn't have any tanks so I guess in retrospect it was kinda my fault. I could feel the gangrene getting closer so I crawled to another part of the road where upon arrival a truck swerved out of the way and killed 5 pedestrians. The truck was carrying radioactive waste to Yucca Mountain so it leaked into that district's water and gave the 500 residents cancer. Luckily it was the perfect distraction but I didn't capitalize on it and gangrene surrounded me.
Gangrene was a street gang known for wearing the color green. I was sent into the city by the FBI to get rid of them. Luckily they found out I was FBI and proceeded to chase me for 7 days until that fateful collision with the mine. I formulated a plan but then they shot twice in the stomach, three times in the leg, and once in the head. The plan was and then I passed out.
I woke up in a hospital ran by the Gangred. "We turned you into a cyborg cause your injuries were so bad, we filled you with lazers and explosive lazers and face melting lazers. You go kill the gangrene or we'll self destruct..."
Haha got them by the ropes!
"YOU!"
SHIT! Well, at least I can kill all the members of Gangrene in this state, I launch out of the bed and hit my head on the ceiling and pass out.
I woke up 11 months later in a hospital ran by the Gangred. "We turned you into a cyborg cause your injuries were so bad, we filled you with rockets and pod rockets and laser rockets. You go kill the gangrene or we'll destroy the FBI."
Damn, these red devils know what they're doing. I must kill them. But wait! They didn't say they could blow me up, so I fired an incendiary rocket, burning down the hospital and killing the hundreds of cancer patients inside. Me and the gangred survived though, at which point the leader said, "Okay, okay! Jesus you're insane! Here, take the detonator to the FBI building, now leave us alone!"
"Ha! Jokes on you!" I blow up the FBI building, which actually turned out to be the Capital Building, plunging the city into anarchy. They shoot me twice but because I'm a cyborg it doesn't eft Safari has shut down unexpectedly.
"What? Wait, shit, did I save the story?"
Would you like to send a report?
"Well, I doubt those fuckers at Apple will even read it but I might as well just spam them with 'em. Okay, now to open safari. Aaaaaaaaaaand it's taking forever. Fuck this, I'll use chrome. I'm not signed into Fanficton?Fuck this I'll use internet explorer. Fuck this I'll use firefox. You know what? Fuck this I'm going to go be not funny on Xbox."
"Okay, has safari loaded yet? Finally, AND IT DIDN'T FUCKING SAVE! FUCK THIS IMMA PLAY LAST OF US!"