EDIT: 12-15-10 Updated. Maybe this version won't suck as much as the old chapter. (Although I'm fairly sure it's even shorter than the original... XD)

Hey! :D Yes, this is a parody of Shrek using Spongebob characters, so I SHOULD put it in the crossover section. However, crossovers are too hard to find, SO I'm just postin' it here. DON'T SUE ME PLEASE!

Short first chapter, yes, it's a start though! Please tell me what you think. Pwease?

Spongebob Squarepants and Shrek don't belong to me. They belong to their rightful owners.

Enjoy! :D

Once upon a time, there was a lovely mermaid princess. She was locked away in a castle, for at birth, she was concieved with a horrible curse that took place each and every night. Her parents had her locked away in the highest room of the tallest tower, and there she stayed for many years, locked away and all alone. But every day, she refused to give up hope, for she waited for her true love to rescue her, and for true love's first kiss...

"Pffft, yeah right! What a load of..."

Squidward tore the last page of the story book out of his and tossed it in the trash can. How did anyone expect anyone else to believe something like that? It was just plain ridiculous!

Still, he couldn't help but think to himself as he showered later that evening. In a way he could relate to that princess. Like her, he was all alone, no one to love or care about, no one that loved or cared about him.
Why, you may ask? Because Squidward was an ogre-squid.

You've probably heard about ogres and such, but there are crossbreads as well. Ogre-squids are generally of the none-hostile kind, but, like every other ogre, they're avoided all the same. Who could blame people, really? All ogres were hideous!

All in all, though, Squidward enjoyed his life of solitude. No annoying neighbors, nothing, just his easter island head and his otherwise abandonded coral reef. What more could a striking bachelor ask for?

o0o

"There's his home," a fish whispered under his breath, as the mob snuck up onto the easter island head. "C'mon, let's get him!" The young fish charged forward before getting caught by his collar and yanked back into the crowd.

"Are you crazy?" One of them asked. "Don't you know what this thing can do to you? It'll grind your bones for its bread!"

A hearty laugh behind made them freeze in terror.

"Actually," Squidward corrected, "that would be a giant. Ogres? Oh, they're much, much worse! They'll cut open your liver, drink your fluids, decapitate you and then filet what's left of your body! ...Actually, cook it golden-brown, and it's not half bad."

The crowd just stood and looked at him in fear for their lifes. Squidward slowly and dramatically reached into his back pocket, and when he returned with the object in his hands, a gasp of horror arose from the crowd.
Squidward smiled menicingly at them, then began to play "When the Saints Go Marching In" in G minor on his clarinet.

There were loud screams of terror from the crowd, begging him to stop, please, anything, just stop and let them live! When Squidward had finally had enough, he scanned the crowd's terrified faces for a minute before leaning over and whispering, "This is the part where you run away."

The crowd was happy to oblige, and they scurried away on thier heels. The sight of them running away made Squidward laugh, and he spat out, "And stay out!"

Like I said, short. BUT I'd like to thank my friend Pixie (known on here as The-Wolf-Keeper- Check out her stories!) for talkin' me into makin' Squiddy Shrek (it was gonna be Spongebob, but he's gonna be... Well, just wait 'n' see ^^)

Love, hate, otherwise, PLEASE!

CLICK IT. BY ALL MEANS, GIVE INTO THE TEMPTATION. :D
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