Love is Blind

Summary: [LukexNoah] Set a few months after Noah lost his eyesight after the accident, Luke comes to Noah's room. The latter doesn't want Luke around. But Luke doesn't care. For a moment, he makes Noah remember what they had...what they still have, even if he has to force him just a bit at first.

Rating: M

"I know you're there," Noah says, his gaze just going through me as I stand outside his bedroom.

"You always know when I'm here," I reply, lamely. I've learned these past weeks not to greet him first. Ever since Noah came home from the hospital, he has made it very clear that he doesn't even want to hear my voice. He would barricade his room to keep me out if he could, but he knows not even that will stop me from seeing him...from taking care of him whether he wants me to or not.

"Mom went to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for dinner. I figured since we're alone in the house, we could keep each other company," I suggest. But I already know what he's going to say next.

"You really don't have to do that. I just wanna be alone right now."

Yeah, yeah.

" You don't need to stay in the house. I'm fine here by myself." The coldness in his voice hurts every fiber in my body. But I take it, just like I've been doing since the accident.

"Of course I need to stay here. I want to be here with you, Noah."

"Luke, I don't need-"

"It's not a discussion, okay Noah?" I snap.

"Do what you want," he utters. His unchanging tone is barely recognizable. Where was the man whose face and voice lit up when he learned I was moving back in with him? Where was the man who always made me feel better just by staring at me, by telling me that my smile was enough to make his day?

I slowly approach his bed, pull up a chair, and sit beside him. I reach for his hand and hold on tight, prepared for him to pull away. This time, I'm not going to let him do that. I stroke his left cheek with my other hand and stare into his eyes. Just a few weeks ago, looking into those baby blues was enough to make me feel that everything was right with the world. I always loved the way I was when I was with him-like I was worth something without having to do anything. Like I wanna believe in myself.

Looking into his eyes right now, I only see desolation and indifference. I wonder how much of that is actually because of the blindness...or something else.

I feel my throat tighten as I pull his hand up to my nose. I want to tell him everything: how sorry I am for doubting him, for ever thinking that Mason was a threat to us. I want to say how I never meant to distract him while he was working on the fireworks for his film. I want to take it all back. I want to just go back to the way things were before it all got screwed up. I want to say that I love him over and over without him blocking me out.

But instead, what comes out is this: "Your face is almost completely healed. Just a few traces of red here and there. But you don't have any open wounds anymore."

"I already knew that."

"I'm just saying, pretty soon you'll be back to being the handsome guy I fell in love with ever since our hands caught each other, you know, back when we were interns."

"Luke, look at me. How can you think anything will ever be the same?"

"I'm just trying to make you feel better."

"You're not."

I stand up, unable to hold myself back anymore. "Look, we don't always have to be at each other's throats, okay? I'm trying to be here for you, Noah. Why can't you let me?"

"I told you before. I'm just not ready for any of...this."

"You mean us?"

"What do you want me to say, Luke?"

"I want you to say that you love me. That you still want to be with me. That you need me, just like I need you." I try to keep my voice from shaking. The last thing Noah needs right now is an emotional mess of a boyfriend. I have to be the strong one now, even if his pushing me away is killing me little by little.

"You don't need me," he finally replies after what seems like an eternity of silence. "I can't offer anything to you right now, Luke. As I am now, what can I possibly give you?"

How can you ask me that?

I climb onto his bed and give him his answer. Before he knows what hit him, my lips are already locked onto his. A few seconds in and he breaks away.

"What are you doing? I told you I don't want-"

"I don't care!" The anger in my voice surpises me, and him for that matter. I resume kissing him and I feel him resist in full force. I cling to Noah's arms as his hands grab onto my shoulders to yank me off the bed. He squeezes tight and pushes hard. It hurts, but I don't care. All this pent-up need and love, I just have to show him. If he won't listen to me, I'll make him feel it.

"Luke, stop it," he says in between kisses.

"No," I insist. I feel him biting my lower lip to halt me, drawing just a bit of blood. The taste of it is enough to stop his attacks. He calms down enough for me to let go of his arms and reach for the bottom of his shirt. Once I begin pulling it off him, he grabs my arm. With the strength he's using, he could practically sprain my wrist. But I persist.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says.

"That's funny. That's all you've been doing since we got back."

"Luke-"

"But that hasn't stopped me from loving you, Noah. And no, I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to stop until you believe me."

I shake his hands away and finish lifting his shirt off. Mine was next. His chest...god, how much I missed his chest. I wet my lips and trace the trail from his chest down to his stomach with my tongue. Noah whimpers and again tries to interrupt me with his hands. I grab his wrists and kiss him on the lips and suck on his ear lobe.

"Stay still." I kiss him again and wait for him to open up, just like he always did before whenever our lips touched. When he parts his lips, I know that I have tamed him. He knows he can't do anything except to give in to me. All this time, my hands have been unzipping his pants and pulling them off to the side of the bed. Pretty soon, mine follows.

I sit up on top of him and take a moment to let the image under me sink in. I'm not used to seeing Noah like this-so helpless and vulnerable. In bed, he was always the dominant one, taking the lead and setting the pace. Most of the time, I was happy to let him have his way with me, with him asking me from time to time what I wanted him to do. But that's not going to happen this time.

I go back to working on his torso with my mouth, starting from his neck, down to his sensitive nipples. I lick each one and blow on them, letting him feel the heat of my breath."

"Ahh..." Noah moans, grabbing onto my hair.

I move down to his abs and take a whiff. God, how I love the smell of him. Noah doesn't wear cologne but he doesn't need to anyway. His bare masculine scent is enough to drive me wild. In all my life, if someone were ever to ask me what love smells like, I would just describe Noah's scent. That's all there is to it.

I stretch the garter of his boxer shorts to take them off and his hardness surprises me. I thought he would be able to contain himself this time, seeing as how he was so angry at me. But I guess deep down, I still know how to reach him; to set him on fire. Deep down, beneath all his bitterness and resentment and defeatedness, he still needs my touch.

"Luke, don't..."

"Don't what, Noah?"

"Don't stop..."

That's all the approval I need. Still sitting on top of him, I spit on my hand and reach for his manhood, cherishing the feel of it in my palm. Noah's thickness never ceases to amaze me, no matter how much of it I've taken in the past. After making sure that it's slick enough, I gradually relax my legs and let gravity bind Noah and I together. When I've made sure that all of him is inside me, I let out a whimper that gets drowned out by Noah's grunts. His hands begin stroking my waist and that's all the trigger that sets me in an up and down motion. I ride him like there's no tomorrow, professing my love in between gasps and moans. For a few moments, the sound of my name fills the room.

"Luke... Luke...Ohhh...Luke..."

He sits up and kisses me, embracing me with all his strength before pinning me down, with my legs up in the air. He doesn't need his eyesight to move me around. I love his weight almost crushing me, deflating me of air. I just want to feel all of him right now.

His hips give strong thrusts inside me and I bite his shoulder to keep myself from screaming.

I can feel that we're both close to the point of no return. I grab his face and kiss him until his warmth bursts and fills me up. Pretty soon, I lose my control as well.

"Aaahhh...Noah!"

And that is it. Pretty soon, he drops on top of me with only our sweat (and the white sticky mess I made) between us. We both gasp for air, with Noah's arms still around me.

I know that I am happy, we both are, right here and now. If only for these few minutes, everything else fades away. The accident. Noah's blindness. The doctor who won't even give us the time of day. None of those things matter.

Later on, Noah might tell me to clean myself up and get out of his room and maybe never do what I...what we... just did again. But that's a whole lifetime from now.

"I love you," I say.

"Same here."

Same here. Those words are the last thing I remember before we both finally succumb to slumber.