This is a really, really random story a friend and I wrote at, like, one in the morning. Read at your own risk.
Japan had fallen in love with France's nemesis Liechtenstein's sister:
Estonia.
Yep. Estonia was really a woman. The only person besides his apparent sister (Just go with it.) who knew this was Latvia. He learned of this after taking a walk with Turkey.
After Turkey left, Latvia went down to his basement to get some avocados. He found Italy tied up in his basement instead. Latvia put the pieces together and it all made sense; Estonia was really a woman.
Latvia thought of confiding in Greece but realized that that was a bad idea…. BECAUSE GREECE WAS REALLY A WOMAN TOO! Latvia learned of that after overhearing Greece talking to Hungary about period problems.
****
A few days earlier in the chapel, Belarus was eating mangos behind the statue of ice. This was forbidden! Thankfully, Lithuania found her in time and stole the mangos from her, only to eat them all for himself!
The master of the chapel, America, caught Lithuania eating the mangos and sent him down to the basement to be tied up and tortured along with Italy. The chapel basement also happened to be Latvia's basement.
While in the basement tied up with Italy, Lithuania heard a knock on the window. It was Poland! …coming to gas them to death. After he left Italy and Liet were in their time of dying, so they decided to have a heartfelt conversation about Ukraine's luxurious boobs.
Finland was in a good mood that day and decided to rescue Lithuania from the basement. He left Italy, though because Finland wasn't in that good a mood.
Switzerland, being neutral and all, was watching the whole time from a safe distance in the woods. He also liked killing things from time to time and saw England sleeping in a bed of daisies. Switzerland took brisk steps towards him, raising his hunting knife (He didn't have a gun with him that day for some odd reason.) and preparing for the fatal blow.
Suddenly, Prussia grabbed Switzerland's arm and yanked him to the ground. Prussia kicked him and yelled, "How does that feel, Switzerland?" Prussia had built up anger at him for years. Then Switzerland, realizing what he had almost done, dropped his knife, put his head between his knees, and cried.
England woke up in the middle of this drama and decided to call Canada out of his fear for the situation. Canada told him he needed to shut up and be a man like Germany. Neither of them realized that Spain was on the line too, so they were confuzzled when they heard laughter.
***
Back in the present, Russia decided he wanted to be closer to Japan. He called up Sealand in hopes that he could give Russia tips.
So when Russia finally met up with Japan he tried to start things out normally, but Japan broke down sobbing. Russia, wanting to be Japan's friend, tried comforting him as Japan rambled on about how he could never be with Estonia.