AN: this is Edward's point of view from the events that happened in New Moon from Page 28 til just before he leaves and breaks everyone's heart including Jacob's as he cares for Bella and also the whole Renesmee thing to lol!
I sadly don't own anything except the books I have bought and cried over, oh and a crazy imagination
I refuse to accept the fact that I had, once again, put Bella in danger. Yet her arm is in plain view and is a very prominent factor in my thoughts. I should never have forced her into something she was dead set against. Yet again, me trying to give her a normal life has turned into a shattering disaster. I keep replaying the tragic scene of tonight round and round in my head. I put the one person I live for in danger tonight. In my arms Bella sleeps, unaware of my torture. Yet my eyes can't focus on her face, all I see is her falling, the eager eyes of Jasper as the blood frenzy begins. Started by a small drop of blood escaping from her fragile body.
Bella sucking her wound. Jasper's focused eyes. My own focusing on the danger. His thoughts screaming for blood. The blood lust rising in both Jasper's and my own throat. I could feel the fires erupt from my usually dull ache. Her blood filled my lungs; I stopped breathing before I became the monster she would fear. Before I became the killer. I didn't want to kill her. I wanted to save her. The two desires were not compatible. I was easily preoccupied trying to save Bella's marked life from my brother. The experienced leap of a warrior. My returning growl and defence. Knocking her to the ground, not before she smashes into the glass bowls of water and rose petals. Jasper was not going to pass me. Carlisle staying calm and controlled. Emmett wrestling with Jasper and Rose helping him, with Esme running after them. These are the haunting images that direct my thoughts now.
When Carlisle was stitching her arm I couldn't breathe. I have seen Bella broken before because of me. I had stood by her, held her hand and sucked the venom from her. This was from James my true enemy. Hate fills me now just thinking of what he did; it creates the need for vengeance. All my anger had wanted and begged for was justice. I could and have given him what he deserved. I could hunt him like a dog and rip him to shreds. That anger was easily satisfied. But Jasper is my brother. I cannot feed the fire of vengeance for even attempting to harm Bella like I wished to now. I cannot go and quench such a thirst because he is connected to me and that one action will hurt so many people. More than the pain it would cause me. Yet I still can't rid my mind of such images. When I went to find Jasper the fresh air was too much of a relief. Before I reached him I had to calm down, not wanting to do anything rash. I had tried to remember he had not injured her but still if it were not for Emmett and me would she be dead? The possibility feed my anger while the reality caused agony within every fibre.
Alice should have seen this. It was evitable. Yet still she is just as blind as the rest of us. How could she have missed something this big? Well everyone can guess what's going to happen now. We will leave. As I the thought manifests my heartaches with an undeniable and unidentifiable amount of pain and longing. Although she was safe in my arms now I knew she couldn't be much longer. I have to leave, Alice won't like, neither would Esme but this is my decision and I will not harm Bella anymore. The scene begins to replay as if my mind sensed the need to find more reason to follow through with my plan. I used my ability to see every angle. Trying to find a reason to stay but I know I will not find one. My most important priority is keeping her safe. I have to be strong enough to sacrifice my happiness for her life. Rosalie's thoughts swim around my head as her's aren't emotionally attached to the events.
His mind reaches back towards the white house he had called home. The hellish nightmare still in the foreground of everyone's mind. Rose and Emmett's huge bedroom uncharacteristically hushed. Inside the exquisite blonde that was Rosalie Hale, Edward's sister, sat trying to grasp the effect that the human Bella had created from the accident. Her thoughts where strange although she sat motionless she was aware of the way she held her body and the way it expressed itself on the outside.
AN: so there is the original piece I wrote before choosing what I would do with it. Please review and I will send you a virtual cookie that will be amazing