Confusing Feelings
Jeff was sitting in the locker room with thoughts on his mind. He didn't know what was going on in his mind. He was thirty-two years old, single and alone. His brother on the other hand, had a special person to be with. Jeff felt like he was jealous of his older brother. "Why do I feel this way?"
A text was sent to his phone. Pulling it out, Jeff saw it was from Reby wondering where Matt was at. He cocked his brow wondering where his brother was. Just as Jeff was about to head out to find him, there was a knock on his locker room door.
Cocking his brow, Jeff went to get the door. Opening it, he saw his brother standing at the door. "What are you…"
He was silenced by Matt's kiss. His lips felt Matt's press up against his own; he didn't know how to react. Pleasure and happiness filled his body. It was feeling good to him.
Just as Jeff was about to feel Matt grab his shaft, he woke up gasping for air. He felt hair sticking to his forehead. "What is wrong?" He asked himself. He looked over at the bed next to his. His brother was asleep. "I can't, no, it's wrong."
Standing up from his bed, Jeff looked at his sleeping brother. He wanted to touch his body, kiss his lips, but it felt so wrong. He grabbed his hoodie and pulled it over his head. Grabbing the keys, for the car and hotel room. Walking out of the hotel room, Jeff headed to the car. Opening the car door, Jeff got in and looked at the steering wheel. He began to think of where he would go.
James got off the bus as he saw Jeff in his car. He walked over to the car and knocked on the door window. When he saw Jeff roll the window down, he knelt down looking at his green eyes. "Hey Jeff, what's wrong?"
Hearing James talk, he turned his head and saw him. "Huh?" He asked, not knowing James was there.
Laughter escaped his lips as he shook his head. "I asked if you were okay Jeff." He kept his eyes on Jeff. "You know you can tell me anything."
A sigh escaped his lips as he heard what James said. "I don't know James." He ran his hand through his hair. "I feel confused. I don't know who I am anymore. How can I figure that out, when I don't even know anything?"
Tilting his head, James was confused hearing what Jeff said. "Well Jeff, why don't you come up to my room and we can talk." He stood up and stepped away from the door so Jeff can get out.
Seeing James step away, he thought about it for a while. Thoughts of what could happen to him began to enter his mind. Thinking of what Matt would do if he ever found out why came out on top. Without saying another word, Jeff got out of his car and looked at James. "Okay."
A smile came on James's face hearing what Jeff said. "Great. This way Jeff." He began to head to his hotel room. He looked behind him to make sure Jeff was still following behind him.
Reaching the hotel room, James unlocked his door and let Jeff inside. Once Jeff was inside, James followed him in, shutting the door behind him. "Did you want a drink Jeff?" He asked as he pulled a drink out of the fridge.
Hearing what James offered, he nodded his head. "Sure James. I'll take a bottle of water." Jeff took a seat on the sofa.
Nodding his head, James pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to Jeff. "So Jeff, what's going on?" He asked as he sat down next to Jeff looking at him. "Tell me man; whatever you say will stay in these walls."
Taking a deep breath, Jeff looked at James. He parted his lips and spoke, "Well you see, I had a dream of my brother," he paused trying to find the right words to say.
James cocked his brow, "Well that sounds fine to me. There's nothing wrong with that."
Shaking his head, Jeff looked at James. "It wasn't just a normal dream." He looked down at his hands holding the water bottle. "Matt was starting to make love to me." He waited for James to say something harsh about what he just said.
Cocking his brow, James looked at Jeff thinking he was being funny. That was until he saw Jeff look down. "Oh Jeff, and what do you plan on doing?" James asked.
Shrugging his shoulders, Jeff looked at James. "I don't know. I'm confused James. What if I tell him how I feel or about the dream, and he says I'm crazy. Or what if he walks out on me?"
Listening to Jeff, James thought about it as he took a sip of the water. Then he parted his lips to speak, "Well the way I see this, you have to first find out how you feel about this. Then go from there."
"Okay James. Can I please chill here? It wouldn't help if I go back to my room, seeing Matt sleeping won't help. I just won't feel like thinking, I'll be nervous."
He thought about it for a while. "Well okay Jeff. Can you promise me you will figure things out? You can't hide from Matt the rest of your life."
Jeff nodded his head. "I know James, and I promise I won't keep hiding from Matt."
"Okay, then you can stay here." James smiled as he made room for Jeff. No one was sleeping in the other bed. He moved the junk off of it. "Jeff, you can," he turned around seeing Jeff asleep on his bed. A small laugh escaped his lips. He pulled the blankets over Jeff and got in with him.
He only laid with him since he wanted to make sure he was okay. His blue eyes just watched Jeff's body lay there. His hand traced against his body like he was in love with him. James tucked Jeff in and carefully moved to the other bed and climbed into it.
Laying there, James closed his eyes and try to go to sleep. All that went through his mind was how he wanted to help Jeff, but not just as a friend. It felt like he was falling in love with Jeff.
Not able to stay asleep, James woke up and saw that Jeff was still sound asleep. A smile came across his face knowing that Jeff was sound asleep. Slowly getting up, James got into his hoodie as he went to go sit outside. He grabbed the room key and shoved it into his pocket.
Heading out the door, James walked down to the lobby and went outside. He was thinking that some fresh air would help. Taking a deep breath, James made it outside and sat down. He was trying to figure out what he was feeling. Was he gay, or is this just a phase. Taking a deep breath, his blue eyes looked around. They saw straight couples, gay couples and lesbian couples.
Knowing that he wouldn't be alone, he walked over to the gay couple and began to ask them if he could talk to them.
The couple first thought the man was strange, but they have seen him on TV. "Okay, I'm Ian, and this is my babe, Justin." Ian smiled looking at his boyfriend and back at James. "Now, how can we help you?"
James took a deep breath. "Well," he ran his hand through his brown hair. "I'm sure you know about Jeff Hardy, well, I think I am in love with him. How do I tell him when he is in love with someone else?"
Hearing what James asked, "Well, you don't want to be with him for nothing, and make sure you want him, if you don't love him like he deserves, why be with him?"
James nodded his head listening to Ian. He looked at Justin and smiled softly. "Thanks guys."
Ian and Justin nodded their heads. "No problem."
James began to head back to the hotel to see if Jeff was okay. Walking back up to his room, he walked in seeing Jeff sound asleep. Closing the door behind him, he let himself lay in bed with Jeff. Laying on his side, he ran his hand up and down his side. Hoping that wasn't going to wake him.
The eye lids on the other man began to flutter a bit, causing James to panic a bit. He hoped that the other man wasn't going to wake up. Taking a breath after Jeff rolled over, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.