Disclaimer: I am making no profit from this.
Authors note: So this is a bit of a spin-off from my other story The Death Of Dr. Harleen Quinzel, it has some tie in's with it but you don't have to read it. In it I mentioned Bruce Wayne went on a date with Harleen back when she was the Joker's psychiatrist, Originally planned to be a one shot but I am a wind bag and didn't want to you to have to scroll forever, your welcome.
A sharp snap interrupted Dr. Arkham and drew Bruce's attention away from the senior administrator and to the source of the noise. He analyzed the situation out of habit.
It came from young woman, judging from the pitch of the snap and the position of her hands, she had probably slammed down her clipboard on the counter. She looked frustrated but she pushed that aside and offered everyone that she had disrupted an apologetic look. Bruce had not seen her in the room a moment ago and from her location she must have come in from one of the adjoining rooms.
"Is there a problem, Dr. Quinzel?" asked Dr. Arkham.
"Now that I'm out here, no" answered Dr. Quinzel irritably.
Her blue eyes met Bruce's for a second with surprise before she shyly dropped them back to her clipboard.
"You'll have to excuse Dr. Quinzel, she has a very difficult patient" apologized Dr. Arkham.
Bruce saw Dr. Quinzel clearly mouth understatement.
Dr. Leland excused herself from the asylum welcoming committee to go over to her agitated colleague.
Dr. Arkham picked up where he had left out about the goals of Arkham asylum. Bruce feigned interest, a highly practiced skill of his. He was really listening to the conversation between Leland and Quinzel.
"I wanted to smack that Glasgow grin right off his face, but I can't, because he wants me to hit him. Right from day one that's been his mission"
Glasgow grin? Bruce thought. They could not be talking about him. He must have heard wrong. They could not be talking about the Joker.
Before Bruce could get confirmation on what difficult patient they were or were not talking about he was whisked away from the conversation when Dr. Arkham suggested that they start the tour.
As they walked through the halls, he tried to recall the name of the Arkham psychiatrist that had been in the news a month ago. Bruce knew the story had included the Joker but since the story did not include escapes, he hadn't paid any attention to it.
Was it Quinzel? Was the controversy that she was – well - so young? Bruce should be one of the last people to judge based on appearances but there was something to be said about age and experience.
The tour included all wards of the asylum even maximum security, which Bruce hadn't expected to see and was glad he got the chance.
Maximum security was in the best shape compared to the other wards and rightfully so with the patients it housed.
There's still room for improvement, Bruce thought as he scrutinized every detail and flaw.
So when all was said and done Bruce wrote a hefty cheque to Arkham asylum.
"Thank you, Mr. Wayne" said Dr. Arkham, not totally surprised but still grateful.
Beep, beep, beep.
"I assure you the money will be put to good use," said Dr. Arkham, ignoring what Bruce assumed was Dr. Arkham's pager. Hopefully go to fixing up maximum security.
Beep, beep, beep.
Dr. Arkham pulled his glasses down from the bridge of his nose and looked at the LCD screen over top of them.
"I am so sorry Mr. Wayne, but I really need to see to this. I'll find someone to escort you out"
Dr. Arkham looked down the long hall way but they were the only two around.
"No need, I have taken enough of your time. Thanks for letting me come by." Bruce said, shaking Dr. Arkham's hand once more. He pointed over his shoulder "Its this way, right?"
"No thank you for your generous donation. Yes, then hang one right at the second hallway, then another right and the elevator will spit you out right out at the front entrance."
Dr. Arkham disappeared in to his office and Bruce walked on down the hallway.
A yard or so later, Bruce was sure he had screwed up somewhere and had followed the directions wrong. He tried to retrace his footsteps but ended far from where he started in a hallway flanked by metal doors, some of the faces behind them peered out at him; some curiously, some with a more sinister look and some stared out their doors but weren't seeing him or anything else.
"I know you're trying Harleen, but maybe he is too much for you."
The way these halls echoed there was no way to know how far away
Bruce stopped short of rounding a corner.
"No, that's not it. Everyone else has had the same problem. We can't treat the Joker conventionally. If you try to run any sort of standardized test on him, he knows exactly what you're up to and he gets insulted and defensive."
"Well, Dr. Arkham thinks that you will be able to get something so he is going to keep pushing you."
"What do you think?"
"I think its time to try hypnosis"
There was short feminine laughter.
"Have a good night, Joan"
Heels click clacking along came his way. The same blue eyes from earlier rounded the corner, as their owner nearly ran in to him.
"Oh sorry" she said. Her expression said more to the effect of what are you doing here?
"No it's my fault." Bruce smiled. Not just to be charming but also because there was a plan forming in the back of his mind. This was perfect timing. "I'm actually sort of lost"
"That's what I figured. Come on I'll lead you out," said, if he had heard correctly, Harleen.
"Thanks" said Bruce bashfully.
"No problem. If I let you wander around here forever, you'd have to be admitted and I'd end up treating you. Nothing against you but I have enough on my plate already."
" Yeah, I kinda saw that earlier and um…" was there a way to admit he heard her conversation without also admitting to eavesdropping.
"No doubt heard too, despite Dr. Arkham's continuing efforts." She rolled her eyes and there was some definite bitterness in her voice. "I'm Harleen, by the way"
She offered her hand, her left hand to be precise. Bruce took it. No wedding ring. The potential to get his foot in the door was there.
"Bruce."
She smiled and nodded but did not say I know the way most people did.
He followed her. Nothing ever became familiar because everything looked the same as when he was lost.
"How long have you worked here?" he asked.
"Only eight months. For the first two weeks I couldn't find my office. I would end up doing my work at the front desks and reception rather then have to ask someone where my office was."
Bruce chuckled.
And when did the Joker become your patient? Bruce thought. He could not help being curious about this doctor and he had plenty of other questions.
"The elevator's just up ahead, I don't trust it but I'm sure its sound." Said Harleen as she opened the door to the stairwell.
They were up on the fifth floor so Bruce wondered if she was trying to get away from him. If that was the case his plan could end up being a humbling experience.
"I try to use the stairs when I can, it's a good work out."
Harleen's eyes scanned him. Clearly checking him out. Maybe she was interested.
The pair walked down into the front lobby. It was now or never.
"Guess I sort of owe you my mental state. " said Bruce. "Can I take you out to dinner sometime?"
"Oh ah- yes I'd love to" said Harleen taken back but her face had light up. She had a very engaging smile.
"Well?" Bruce prompted for more details.
"I'm free tonight."
"So right now?"
"Yeah, let's go." She nodded confidently, pushing the door open.
They walked out the front doors and around the side of the asylum to the parking lot.
"Anywhere you want to go?"
"Surprise me." Said Harleen cheekily.
"I was hoping you'd say that. " Bruce gave her a playful grin. "I got a hellavu surprise."
"In that case I think I need to change, I should have something in here."
Harleen wasn't under dressed, perhaps a bit too professional for a dinner date but she would be fine for where they were going. Bruce would bet his trust fund that telling her that wouldn't keep her from changing.
She opened the trunk of an emerald Lancer. Harleen didn't have something in her trunk, she had some things.
"This happen often?" joked Bruce
"Oh all the time. You billionaires never give me a moment to myself." Responded Harleen flippantly. " You can't control what happens in a day but you can be prepared."
"Wise words."
She settled on a small black cocktail dress with diamond sash and dainty bow.
Being the gentleman that he was, Bruce leaned up against the backseat window while Harleen changed.
"We can take my car." Bruce led the way over to his red Ferrari Spider.
"Whoa, this is beautiful. " exclaimed Harleen. She circled it, admiring every inch "2007?"
"No it's one of the brand new eights."
Harleen flipped out her cell phone. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all."
A fake camera snap sounded as she took a quick picture.
"Here, I'll take your picture if you want." He offered.
She handed over her phone and posed almost coyly by the Ferrari; turning her head slightly, looking at the prancing horse crest with a small smile on her lips.
"Oh this is so going to be my wallpaper," said Harleen when she saw the picture.
"Were you a car model once? Bruce flirted.
She blushed a little before retorting.
"Easy now, I should remind you that I study people's minds for a living. And I am good at my job."