Under the Microscope

Just a little something I found in my computer from years ago. Maybe a little silly, definitely shamelessly fluffy, and serious writers will probably mock it, but I had fun when I was writing it so I hope someone out there can enjoy it too! Oh, and it uses the character Capt Michaela (Mickey) Dawson who some may recognise from another of my stories as being the team's administrative aid and close friend of Sam Carter.

Enjoy!

Mickey - Cat? You there?

Sam - Yeah. And I asked you not to call me that on base.

M - Oh come on, it's on IM, no one's gonna know. You gonna tell me what happened?

S - And there was me thinking you just wanted to talk to me.

M - Come on Cazzy, don't be like that! The ENTIRE base is talking about it – I gotta know!!!

S - Michaela Dawson, you are unbelievable.

M - Meaning what exactly?

S - I'd have thought you of all people would know by now that rumours are not to be trusted.

M - I know they're not, which is why I'm asking you for the truth!!!

S - And what if I don't wanna tell you?

M - Then I'll ask Jack. He'll tell me.

S - Okay, okay, but you MUST NOT circulate this. The rumours are bad enough without giving them ammunition

M - So . . .

S - So . . . we went to P8Y 252, and it turns out it's another one of these chauvinistic worlds where women are basically commodities.

M - And so . . . what? They tried to buy you?

S - Yeah, basically. They said I was breaking the law by carrying a weapon, and that by law I therefore belonged to the King.

M - But Jack bought you back, right?

S - Not exactly. Daniel asked if there were any loopholes, or circumstances where the law wouldn't apply.

M - And . . .

S - And . . . it turned out that if I was married to one of the guys, I was free.

M - Married?!?!? So it is true!

S - What exactly have you heard?

M - That Jack married you to save you from being abducted by the ruler of P-whatever.

S - He DID NOT marry me. He just said we were already married.

M - So then what happened?

S - We were asked to prove it.

M - What did you do?

Pause

M - Cat!

S - Okay, this is the bit that MUST NOT get out. At all. Under any circumstances. Got it?

M - Okay, okay, I promise. So what happened?

S - He kissed me.

M - Jack??? Jack kissed you??? Oh my God!

S - It was just . . . role play. He had to make the guards think I was his wife.

M - So what was it like?

S - Mickey!

M - Come on! Answer the question!

S - It was . . . a kiss. To be honest it took me completely by surprise.

M - And you lost the ability of intelligent thought for about five minutes afterwards, right?

S - More like ten.

M - Oh my God! Sammy! He kissed you! Finally!

S - It doesn't count. He didn't kiss me cos he wanted to, it was a necessity. If he hadn't done it I'd be property of the King right now, and God knows what would have happened to me then.

M - But still . . . he did kiss you. Daniel wouldn't have done it.

S - That's cos Daniel tries to talk his way out of those situations. The colonel's a man of action.

M - Bet you're not sorry though!

S - Hell no!

S - Did I say that out loud?

M - Awww, it's okay Cat, you're allowed to be crazy-in-love around me.

S - I am NOT in love with him. Crazy, maybe, but not in love.

M - Liar.

S - Am not.

M - Are too.

S - Am not.

M - Are too! You're nuts about him. Just like he's nuts about you. It's a cruel reality that you're both airforce officers.

S - So . . . you won't tell anyone.

M - Course not! I don't want you two getting in trouble, do I? Who would I do admin for without you guys? SG-3???

S - Awww, don't be mean to the marines. I'm sure they have exciting admin work too.

M - Yeah right. They'd mock my system in between making obscenely chauvinistic remarks.

S - You have no system. And they'd get used to you being a girl.

M - Nah they wouldn't. I've worked with all-male teams before. That's why I like SG-1 so much, you've already got the boys well trained.

S - Damn right! They wouldn't dare make a sexist remark around me!

M - So . . . I won't tell anyone about yours' and Jack's little kiss . . .

S - Thank you! It is REALLY appreciated! And it was nothing really.

M - Sure.

S - It wasn't.

M - Ah ha. Look, honey, I have to dash, I'm being buried under a mountain of Jack's bloody memos that need sorting. I'll catch you later!

S - Okay. Have fun.

*

J - Carter? You there?

S - Yes sir, I'm here.

J - I just finished my report.

S - Really? That's gotta be a record!

J - Whaddaya mean?

S - I'm fairly sure that's the first time you've EVER finished a report before me.

J - Well, I wanted to get this one done.

S - I know what you mean.

J - So . . . we're okay with making certain . . . omissions?

S - Of course.

J - You don't sound convinced.

S - I'm convinced sir, really, I value my career.

J - But . . .

S - But, I'm worried about what will happen if anyone finds out. After we've lied in our reports.

J - We haven't lied. We just . . . left stuff out. And no one's gonna find out.

Pause

J - Alright, what?

S - Sir?

J - You wanna say something. What is it?

S - I'm just . . . are you worried about Teal'c?

J - Teal'c? Should I be?

S - He just seemed a little . . . disapproving . . . when you said we were gonna leave out . . . stuff.

J - Nah, don't worry about it. I talked to him afterwards and he was disapproving about something completely different. He won't tell.

S - What wasn't he happy about?

Pause

J - Nothing.

S - Sir?

J - Has Mickey finished with my memos yet?

S - I dunno, nearly I think.

J - Catch you later.

S - Bye sir.

Me likey revieweys. hint hint.

Beka The Slightly Mad and Ridiculous. (I promise to be less insane and incessantly fluffy with my fics in 2009! It'll be a new year's resolution.)