Title: Do You Want To Live Now?
Rating: Mature (Language)
Status: Completed (One Shot)
Summary: "An arrow for an answer. Fair?" "I don't know anymore… I don't think… No."
Author's Note: This was inspired by the little scene that Andrea and Daryl shared in the woods while searching for Sophia. Just my imaginary explanation on why Daryl would be willing to trade an arrow just for a question. Why was he so interested? What would happen if Andrea had given him a straight forward answer?
Daryl took one last look around with his flashlight before he turned around, noticing that Andrea had left his side. A hint of annoyance came upon his face as he watched Andrea approach the hanging walker with great precaution. His patience began to grow thin as she stood there, shining her flashlight at the dumbass walker; looking as if she actually felt some sort of remorse for it.
Watching her with a pained expression on her face, Daryl suddenly remembered his brother. He and Andrea are the same. They've both lost their family… Their siblings. Although he knew they were the same in every say, he knew that they were also different in many ways. He understood her, but at the same time he couldn't imagine the pain Andrea was going through. Of course he was devastated when they couldn't find Merle and he was sure it must've been devastating for Andrea to lose Amy as well, but Daryl knew that it was harder for Andrea that it was for him. With Merle missing, it's safe for him to think that he could still be alive and fighting for his life, but Andrea; she had to watch her own sister die and turn, add the fact that she also had to shoot her brains out. Daryl and Merle never really 'hit it off' as brothers, they were always fighting and Merle never really 'took care' of Daryl; something that Daryl was slightly thankful for because he learned to fend for himself. Amy and Andrea were different though, they cared for each other and Andrea took good care of Amy; probably the reason why Amy was unable to protect herself without Andrea. He understood why she would want to die, but the thing that pissed him off about Andrea was that she's got what it takes to survive. Surviving isn't something that's hard for her, she can do it, she can make it through all this. Heck, she's probably the only girl in the group who can choose whether she wants to live or not. Everyone knows that both Carol and Lori are alive because they depend on others to survive, butAndrea, she was different. She doesn't need anyone to protect her, she's got all it takes to survive all on her own, but she's letting Amy's death destroy that potential that she has.
Daryl understood her, but he also knew that Andrea will not be able to reach her 'potential' if she doesn't let Amy go. He was curious about her; curious about what was on her mind, what she wanted to happen, why she was so ready to give up. He had many questions, but only one seemed to matter the most to him.
"You wanna live now? Or not?" he asked her in a slightly hushed tone, looking at her with a serious face. He then realized the suddenness of his question and added, "Just a question," in a sense of taking it back.
She turned slightly to look at him, pain and confusion clearly visible in her eyes. She stared at him for a short moment before speaking, "An answer for an arrow. Fair?"
Daryl didn't respond for he knew that he would have to oblige either way. He just looked at her with a confirming look on his face.
"I don't know anymore…" she trailed off, unsure of how to answer.
Daryl scoffed at her pathetic answer, it was an easy question to answer in his point of view. If she didn't wanna live anymore, she wouldn't be standing in front of him now. She wants to fight, she wants to live; he knew this because he knew that even without Dale convincing her to get out of that hell of a building, she would've still left. He knew that Andrea wanted to live as badly as everyone else; she just needed to realize that.
Daryl was ready to shoot the zombie, already expecting that he knew her answer, until she spoke again, "I don't think…" she paused and then swallowed hard before continuing and looking him straight in the eyes, "No."
Daryl felt something wash over him suddenly, something he's never felt before. He didn't know what it was; anger, annoyance, shock… Pain. He was so sure he knew her answer would've been the opposite; he was so sure. He looked at her face and was surprised at the truthfulness in her eyes, she was serious and she wasn't lying. Her mind has been made; it was different from before. Before when she wanted to 'end' her life, he could see fear in her eyes; the fear of death. He could see the fear that allowed him to walk away from her without convincing her to change her mind. He did that because with that fear he saw in her eyes, he knew that she would come to her senses and realize she's making the wrong choice. He remembered how relieved and slightly cocky he felt when he saw her and Dale run out of that building, because he knew he was right.
Now the only thing he saw in her eyes were… Nothing. She was ready, she wasn't herself anymore. She had made up her mind for good and she was ready to go.
Without thinking, Daryl let his body act on the emotions he was feeling and he swiped his arm over the small table that was set up beside the tent, knocking down everything that was on top.
Andrea flinched slightly at his sudden reaction, but stood her ground.
"You mother fuckin' dumb bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Daryl angrily said under his breath as he took a seat on a large log near the tent and placed his crossbow on his lap.
"What?" Andrea asked, she knew what he said and she understands why he would say those things. What she didn't understand was why he seemed to care so much.
Daryl looked up at her and she saw the anger in his eyes, but it wasn't just anger. There was pain and sadness in his eyes; he had a look on his face that she hasn't seen on him since he found out that Merle was left alone and chained somewhere on top of a building.
Suddenly Daryl gripped his crossbow tightly, stood up and pointed it at her. This was it, Andrea thought to herself. He was going to kill her, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, smiling. She was ready to die, the only thhing going through her head was that she was finally going to be with Amy. No more pain, no more suffering, and no more walkers. Just peace.
It was strange, the woods seemed so quiet now. She listened careful and heard the harsh breathing coming from a few feet away from her; Daryl.
She tried to get a feeling of her surrounding, to sense him. She quietly listened for it, the pull of the trigger, the string being released, the arrow being shot.
She took one last breath before she heard it; the release. She heard the arrow pierce through something hard and wet. Flesh. Skull.
But she didn't feel any pain, instead she heard footsteps quick and heavy getting louder and louder. She opened her eyes in time to see Daryl angrily approaching her, but there was something in his eyes. Passion? Can't be, she thought.
Suddenly, one of his large hands gripped the back of her neck and pulled her close. He set his forehead against hers and closed his eyes and for a moment, they were still. Andrea was surprised, she didn't know what was happening. She was taken by surprise once again when Daryl stood straight and pulled her to his chest in a somewhat awkward, yet comforting embrace. His frame was firm and he seemed like he disliked what he was doing, but at the same time she felt his compassion towards her. He cared about her.
"Listen here lady…" he began, whispering in her ear as he awkwardly stroked her hair, while keeping his hand on her back in a strong and protective hold.
"I know alright? I know how ya feel. Amy's death, yeah I get it, it was hard, it was painful. Hell, I lost Merle too! I know how ya feel, but at the same time, I know that I don't. What you went through? No one's been through that hell and I know that ya think this is the best thing to do, but it ain't." he paused for a moment, collecting more words to say.
At this time Andrea felt the tears escaping from her eyes and she tried to hold back the sobs that came. She shut her eyes and gripped the sides of Daryl's shirt tightly, keeping her head on his chest. His mention of Amy just brought back everything, all the pain and the sadness; the memory of Amy's 'sleeping' face. Her eyes before that night. The smile she had on her face before the walker took her away.
Daryl began speaking once again, "I know it won't make a difference, but I'm sorry. Just think 'bout this, Amy held on for you, she stayed strong and faithful because she wanted to live. She wanted the both of ya to live. She didn't give up because you were there and she looked up to ya. How'd ya think she'd feel if she knew you were givin' up like this. If ya go through with this, yer givin' up the fight." with that Daryl loosened his grip and looked her in the eyes.
"Now I ain't goin' stop ya, this is yer choice t' make, if a still wanna do this, but if not, just know I'm here… Always."
She wiped the tears from her face and smiled at him, nodding her head.
He backed off and slowly readied his crossbow. He pointed it at her and even though it hurt him, this time he knew that he would actually shoot; if that's what she wanted. She made a decision, this was her choice and hers only, he wasn't gunna take that away from her again.
"You wanna live now? Or not?" he repeated his previous question; still hoping that she would change her mind.
"Daryl…" she said quietly, "Why?"
Daryl lowered his crossbow and looked at her in confusion.
"Why'd you do this?" she asked with full curiosity.
"An arrow for an answer. Fair?" he repeated her from before.
With a slight look of disappointed, she took a breath and smiled; agreeing to his condition.
Daryl felt extremely relieved as he looked her now bright face, he wanted to smile, but somehow he thought not to.
"Because I care." he said seriously.
Andrea doesn't know what or why, but she knew he was telling the truth. Although she wondered why he cared so much, whether it was just for her or if he would've done the same for anybody else, she didn't bother to ask.
"Now c'mon, we better head back." Daryl said softly, tilting his head to the direction back to the highway.
"If ya want, ya can laugh about ma itchy ass again, though I can't guarantee you I won't seek for pay back." he joked, lightening the mood and smiling at her.
He got just what he wanted when he heard her laugh a little as she headed back, walking ahead.
As she walked off, he watched her intently.
There she is, he thought, that's the Andrea I was lookin' for. There's the potential I knew she had.
She can do this… And she won't be alone.
I'll be right there with her.