Disclaimer: They're mine, I tell you! All mine! Bwa ha ha! Oh...wait...

Author's Note: For my fellow Mentalistas on Twitter, especially Starry for the cat name.

Send Off

This was a bad idea, Cho thought as he approached the Airstream. Really bad. The kind of thing he'd have mocked Rigsby mercilessly for if he'd come up with it.

He really missed Rigsby. And Van Pelt. And, now, Lisbon.

But the last thing she'd said to him, hugging him tight and choking out the words like she was about to cry, was, "Look after Jane for me, okay?" And damned if he wasn't going to honor that request.

Pounding on the door, Cho wished he'd skipped that third beer. He didn't drink often, but Teresa Lisbon's good-bye party seemed like an occasion that called for it.

When there was no answer, he pounded on the door harder, taking out his frustrations a little. "Jane, I know you're in there. Open the door or I'll shoot my way in!"

He wouldn't, of course. But Jane might not know that.

The door opened just enough for Jane to peer around it. "Party over already?"

"Nobody really wants to celebrate Lisbon leaving. But at least the rest of us showed up to wish her well. You should have too."

Jane grimaced. "I do wish her well. She knows that. Why should I give a damn what anybody else thinks?"

"Let me in, Jane."

"Why? I'm terrible company tonight."

Yeah, Cho thought. That's why this was a bad idea. "Because I lost a friend tonight too, and it's your damn fault, so the least you can do is commiserate."

Jane sighed heavily and opened the door all the way. "Fine. I hope you're a scotch man."

"Not really. I've had my quota tonight anyway." Cho entered the vehicle, relieved to find it neat and tidy. At least Jane didn't live in a pig sty.

Jane dropped back into his seat at the table, cupping his hands around a highball glass. When Cho turned to close the door, he said, "Leave it open. I'm expecting guests."

"Fine." Jane had friends? If they looked trustworthy, maybe he could go home. Or maybe he was expecting Lisbon, who surely wouldn't leave town tomorrow without seeing him one last time. If that happened, Cho was definitely out of here.

Sitting at the table across from Jane, Cho said, "You could have stopped this."

"Yeah," Jane said softly, then downed the rest of the scotch.

"Why didn't you?"

"Why do you think?" Jane sounded too weary for it to be a snap, but Cho recognized the deflection.

"Because you want her to be happy. And you figure if she goes to DC she can get over you and that'll make her happy."

"Something like that."

"You're an idiot." Cho got up and grabbed a teacup out of the nearest cupboard, then poured some scotch into it and sipped. Jane smiled a little, amused at the ridiculous image, he supposed.

"And I'm not even one of those happy idiots who has delusions of intelligence," Jane said after a moment. "And you know that. You know all I want to do tonight is crawl into a bottle and forget about my shitty life for a few hours. But you've decided to look after me instead. Lisbon ask you to?"

"Yeah." And he wasn't going to start letting her down now.

"Well." Jane poured himself a refill. "At least she cares that much."

"Knock it off," Cho said, angry now and seeing no reason to hide it. "You could have stopped this. You still could, and we both know it. But you won't. So you don't get to make her out as some heartless harpy, and you don't get to feel sorry for yourself."

"Yeah, well, I've never been one for rules. As you know." Jane knocked back another glass. His hand shook. Cho wondered if he'd emptied more than the half bottle he could see.

"Yeah." Cho finished off his teacup and refilled it. He could crash here tonight. Probably better not to let Jane out of his sight anyway.

Lisbon was the stabilizing force in Jane's life. Cho had no idea what to expect now, but he was sure it wasn't going to be good. Incipient alcoholism might not be the worst of it. Goddamn it, why couldn't the man have just stepped up? "A few words, Jane. That was all you had to do, and she would have stayed."

"Three. Three words," Jane agreed morosely. "I've been a blight on her life, Cho. Better she gets away from me, has a good man who won't lie to her, trick her, leave her stranded. She deserves that."

"Yes, she does." No question. "But she wanted you."

"I want this scotch. I know I should be drinking tea instead, though," Jane said. "I'm the scotch and Pike's the tea. He'll be better for her, refreshing and clean. No hangovers. No throwing up in the sink. She's had enough of that."

Cho couldn't really argue with any of that. If he had a sister, he sure as hell wouldn't want her dating Patrick Jane. Lisbon was as close to a sister as he was ever going to get, and she'd surely had enough of his shit.

Still, Cho couldn't help being angry at losing his friend again. It felt like he'd just gotten used to working with her again. He liked knowing there was someone he could trust at his back. And he liked that she seemed to be having fun. They all deserved some fun after all the crap they'd been through.

Yeah, Lisbon deserved to be happy. But damn it, there was no reason Jane couldn't have tried, so they'd all be happy. Instead, he was stuck here getting drunk with Jane, who looked like he was on the verge of tears.

A noise at the door caught his attention, and Cho blinked to make sure he wasn't hallucinating the fluffy white cat with orange paws and face who sauntered in and hopped onto the table. An alarming sound like a baby's cry came out of it. Jane smiled a little, then got up and pulled a bowl and a small can of tuna out of a cupboard. The tuna went into the bowl, which went on the table in front of the cat. Jane sat back down as the cat began to eat like he was starving.

"You got a cat?"

"No. Well, sort of."

"He doesn't look like a stray."

"He's not. He belongs to Mrs. Dandridge, three lots over. He just comes here for the occasional upscale dining experience. She calls him Peaches, but I call him Suleiman the Magnificent."

Cho had to admit the cat did look more like a Suleiman. "Is this the company you were expecting?"

"Part of it. Suleiman the Magnificent doesn't care that being early is gauche. Autocratic entities aren't capable of being gauche, you know. Well, they are, but no one dares tell them."

Cho rolled his eyes, but he was glad to see Jane engaged in something other than self-pity. Maybe he did need a pet. Hell, maybe he should get one himself. Cho reached out to pet the cat's head, but drew his hand back slowly when an ominous sound like a small, angry air raid siren emanated from the animal.

Jane grinned. "Suleiman the Magnificent doesn't suffer the touch of mere mortals. He has to be driven to a vet in San Antonio because all the ones here are afraid of him."

"Okay." Maybe the cat was a symptom of self-destructive tendencies instead of a cure, Cho thought.

Suleiman the Magnificent finished the last morsel of tuna, then sat back to stare at Cho with intense blue eyes for a moment before beginning to wash his paws and face.

"Let me guess," Jane said. "You're a dog person."

"You know where you stand with a dog," Cho remarked. "And dogs don't get delusions of grandeur."

They stared at the cat and drank scotch until Suleiman the Magnificent got up, flicking his plume-like tail in the air, and jumped down to saunter outside. Almost immediately, a scrawny orange tabby peeked in the door with a plaintive mew.

Jane got up and pulled what looked like strips of jerky out of a ziplock bag on the counter. He held two out to the cat, who snatched them and ran off.

"Dine and dash," Cho remarked.

"Nah. She'll be back. She's got kittens to feed, that's all. That one really is a stray, mostly wild, but she trusts me a little. I call her Clementine. Like the orange. Or the song."

Cho had a moment of horrified realization before Jane started to sing, "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' Clementine. You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine."

Cho thought about drawing his weapon, but he wasn't sure which of them he should shoot. He hoped like hell this song didn't have a dozen verses.

Jane stopped after two, when the cat came back. "More, my darlin'?" he asked. "I'm going to have to get some more venison jerky from Bobby Joe. Pretty soon you'll bring your little kittens around, won't you? I'd love to meet them."

Clementine vanished, no promises made. Cho was afraid Jane might start caterwauling again, so he said, "This is your plan? Become the crazy cat guy at the trailer park?"

Jane shrugged. His expression was sad and tired, and for once Cho thought he was seeing the real man, no masks in place. "There are worse things to be. Times are hard, my friend. And when times are hard for people, they're harder for the animals. Families have to pull up stakes, maybe move to a shelter or with relatives. Sometimes they can't keep their pets. They just leave them to fend for themselves, hungry and cold and scared. And lonely." He sounded like he might start crying any second. "They just go off to their new life, move to—move away, and the poor little soul who thought they had a family, that they were loved, is just left behind. Nobody to love them. It's sad, Cho." Jane looked at him with eyes full of pain. "Don't you think it's sad?"

"Yeah, Jane," Cho said gently, knowing he wasn't talking about cats anymore. "It is sad."

They drank in silence until Jane said, "I don't know if she'll come while you're here. My Esme is shy. She's had a hard life. Somebody loved her once, you can tell. But she's all alone now. I'm thinking of asking her to move in with me. I know it's a little soon, but hey, when it's right, why waste time? It worked for Lisbon and Pike, right?"

"Geez, Jane. How many strays do you feed? You are the crazy cat guy."

"Yep. We lost, abandoned souls have to stick together. Nobody wants us, so we have to love each other. Or at least pretend. Cats are pretty uncomplicated. You feed them, treat them well, and they'll stick around. That's all they want. They don't care how messed up I am."

Cho sighed. "This is like the Trailer of Misfit Toys."

Jane snorted into his scotch. "Yeah. The hopeless cases. But you're not hopeless, Cho. You're not broken. Just banged up a little. Somebody could still love you. They could pick you up and take you home and play with you."

Cho hoped Jane was too drunk to see how the words made his gut twist. He'd belonged somewhere once, yeah. His family. The gang. His unit. His CBI team. All gone now. Having Lisbon back made it seem like the FBI could be another place he belonged, but she was gone now too. He liked Fischer and Wylie and even Abbott, and he'd always look after Jane, the not-quite-right little brother their big sister had left in his charge. But it wouldn't be the same. "I don't think so." Summer had been a huge mistake, and who had time to date in this job? Besides, taking care of Jane was a full-time job. Cho knew that.

"Sure. I think Fischer'd love to play with you," Jane said with a sly grin.

"Fischer? Kim Fischer?" Cho realized his mouth was hanging open and shut it. "You're full of shit."

"Yes I am, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Give it a try sometime. She'd jump at the chance, as long as you keep it on the down low. She's got a history with Abbott, you know. Not sure what exactly, but she doesn't want to let him down."

Cho pondered that for a moment, until the implications of Jane meddling in his personal life sank in. "You practically shoved Lisbon into Pike's arms. You trying to get rid of me, too?"

"No. But there's no reason you can't be happy just because it's too late for me."

"You're an idiot. You could—"

Jane shook his head violently. "No. Broken toy. Broken, broken, broken. Nobody will ever want to play with me again." He drew in a watery breath. "I had three beautiful girls who loved me once. But they're gone. I'll never belong to anybody else." He put his face in his hands.

Cho swallowed hard, wondering if his friend was weeping. He took another sip of scotch and closed his eyes. Maybe talking was a bad idea. Jane was being maudlin and he was getting depressed.

But then, losing Teresa Lisbon was a good enough reason for that, right?

Cho was halfway into a doze when he felt something tickle his hand. Cracking one eye open, he saw it was a black tail. A tiny black cat was standing on the table, sniffing at Jane curiously. After a moment she gave a quiet mew.

Jane lifted his tear stained face out of his hands, his expression lighting up. "Esme!" Picking up the cat, he cuddled her close to his chest. She began to purr, surprisingly loud for such a small thing. "Cho, this is Esmeralda. Because her eyes are like emeralds. Esme, this is Cho. You'll probably see a lot of him if you move in here. You'll like him; he's the quiet type."

"Hey, Esme," Cho said, trying to sound friendly. Jane needed a buddy. Maybe Esme could keep him from being too lonely after work. He'd enlist Wylie to get Jane out for some guy time. They could do this. He had to. He'd promised Lisbon.

Jane bustled around, finding cat food for Esme, all the while holding her tucked against his shoulder like a baby. She purred the entire time. Definitely somebody's pet once, Cho thought.

Esme had a big appetite for a little cat, and Cho watched in fascination as she crunched her way through a bowl of dry food and then inhaled a spoonful of canned. "You should get her checked for worms," he remarked.

Jane looked worried. "You think so? I guess I should. I'll have to get a carrier and find a vet. She probably needs shots too."

"We can do all that tomorrow." It would be a good distraction from thinking about Lisbon starting her long journey to DC. He'd try to keep Jane too busy to think, though that was a tall order. "Maybe we can find Clementine and see about getting her fixed. Find homes for the kittens." There were worse things than saving helpless animals, after all. And if it helped Jane feel better, Cho would do it.

"Yeah." Jane petted Esme with long, rhythmic strokes along her spine. It seemed to soothe him. He stopped to let her groom, and then she snuggled into his lap and fell asleep.

Cho felt himself drifting off again and knew he should get up and close the door. But before he could rouse himself to do it, he heard the crunch of tires on gravel and then a car door slam.

Esme was off like a shot, vanishing into the back of the Airstream. Jane stumbled after her, crooning, "Esme, baby, it's okay. Nobody's going to hurt you!"

Cho moved to the door, unsurprised when Lisbon came close enough for him to make out her face in the dim light. "Hey," he said. "Shouldn't you be packing?"

"I couldn't leave without saying goodbye," she replied. She was choked up, and her eyes were red. She didn't look like someone about to ride off into happily ever after, Cho thought.

"He's a mess," Cho said. "You don't want to remember him like this. He wouldn't want you to, either."

Lisbon stood her ground. "I'm not leaving without saying goodbye," she said, her voice stronger.

"Fine." Cho went back to sit at the table.

Lisbon came in, frowning at the empty bottle. "You're drunk," she said.

"A little. So's he. And he's a weepy drunk."

"I'll take you home in a minute," Lisbon sighed.

"Nah. You know what? I'm gonna call a cab. Was gonna crash here but I think he'll be okay as long as he has his cat to take care of."

Lisbon frowned, then pulled out her phone and ordered a cab. "You sure you're gonna be all right?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'll wait outside. You take care now, okay?" He clasped her shoulder as he passed.

"You too, Kimball. And...thank you. For taking care of him."

"I'll do my best," he promised, then headed out into the night. He had a pretty good idea of what was going to happen in there, and he didn't want to hear any of it. He'd wait for the cab up at the park entrance.

mmm

Lisbon rubbed at her face after the door closed behind Cho. She hated goodbyes. But as many times as Jane had left her without one, she couldn't bring herself to do it to him. And she didn't really blame him for not wanting to say goodbye to her in public. Part of her had been relieved he hadn't shown up at the party Fischer threw to "send her off in style."

The rest of her had been hurt. But that was nothing new. Hurt had gnawed at her ever since Jane had smiled as he told her to go be happy with Marcus in DC.

He was full of shit, of course. You didn't let a good friend go without feeling sad. Try as she might, she'd been unable to figure out what else might be going on behind that smile, though.

Tonight was her last chance.

She made her way to the back of the Airstream, looking around the empty bedroom area in confusion. He wasn't hiding in the bathroom, was he?

Then she heard the sound. A soft purring was coming from the far corner. She stepped closer and found Jane curled up in the corner, a little black cat with big green eyes in his arms. "Oh, hey, Lisbon," he said cheerfully, as if he weren't hiding in the corner like a frightened little boy. "Sorry I can't get up. Esme just got comfortable. Esmeralda, this is Teresa Lisbon. You won't be seeing her again, but she's a very nice lady. You would have liked her."

Lisbon decided to play along. "Hi, Esmeralda. What a pretty name you have."

Jane blinked hard, his smile getting a little misty. "Sorry I couldn't make it to the party. Did Fischer hire a stripper? I told her not to."

"It was a lovely party," Lisbon said, "and I never expected you to come."

"Oh? Well, good. Good. I'm glad I didn't disappoint you." Jane swallowed, his mask rippling momentarily, too quick for her to decipher what she saw. "Thanks for coming all the way out here. I know you have a lot to do. I hope you have a safe trip. Text me when you get there, okay? And don't worry about us. I'll keep Cho in line."

Her mouth twitched in amusement despite herself. "Yeah, Cho's the one I'm really worried about."

"Don't worry. I'm gonna set him up with Fischer. He'll be fine. Give it a month and he'll hardly miss you at all."

"Good. Glad to hear it. And I know you won't miss me, since you've already found a new friend."

Jane looked down, scratching the cat's ears gently as he mumbled, "I am going to miss you, Lisbon. Terribly."

"Oh, don't bother lying," she said sharply. "You couldn't get me out the door fast enough. What was it I did, Jane? Was I not as much fun as you remembered? Once our lives weren't in danger, you discovered I was boring? What was it that made you change your mind about working with me?"

He gaped at her. "I didn't! Pike came along and you were happy, that's all. I just want you to be happy. You can't be happy around unhappy people, so you should go with him. Just...go be happy."

She frowned down at him. "Fine. But I want a proper goodbye. I think we deserve one, don't you? One that we both know is a goodbye?"

He winced. "Yeah. Of course." But he didn't move to get up.

"That means a hug, Jane. Friends hug each other when they say goodbye for a long time."

"I know. I just...the cat..."

Lisbon stepped forward and quickly but gently lifted Esme out of his arms. Jane was just a second too slow to stop her, but he scrambled to his feet, stumbling a little as he reached for the cat. "No! She's mine! You can't take her away from me too!" he cried, his voice and face dark with anguish.

Esme let out an uncertain mew as Lisbon held her, staring in shock at the tears rolling down Jane's face.

In a broken voice, Jane said, "She's all I have left."

Lisbon felt her heart break. She set Esme down on the bed and stepped forward, arms open. Jane cringed a little but had no room to avoid her, so she wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly, burying her face in his neck.

Jane sucked in a sharp breath and let it out in a gusty sob. His arms came around her and pressed her against him so tightly she thought she might suffocate as he wept. Lisbon shed a few tears of her own as she held him, wishing fiercely for things she couldn't have.

Why couldn't he have asked her not to go? Just be honest with her for once? He'd left her no choice but to try to get over him by leaving. She was never going to do it while he was so close, warm and solid and smelling like home and comfort and safety.

But that didn't mean this was easy. It was like ripping her own heart out, actually.

"Don't go," Jane whispered thickly. "Don't leave me. I can't do it, Lisbon, I tried but I can't, I can't."

"Jane," she choked out, resting her head on his shoulder. "It's too late. Why didn't you ask me before?"

"It's not too late. It can't be." He tightened his grip on her.

"Jane, my stuff's on a moving truck to DC. I'm leaving tomorrow." She felt like screaming. It was too late to turn back now; why was he doing this to her?

"I'll fix it. I'll pay for everything. I'll make Abbott give you your job back. I'll find you a new apartment." He was talking so fast she could barely understand him.

"Jane." Yes, everything could be reversed, but what would she tell Marcus?

Then Jane's lips found hers and she forgot all about Marcus.

mmm

Jane woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and sour stomach, but a smile. He had two raven-haired, emerald-eyed beauties in his bed, after all. Aspirin and ginger tea helped him feel more like himself, and he slipped back under the covers and settled Lisbon against his chest as Esme curled up on the pillow. He'd been too drunk to fully seduce Lisbon last night, but his clever fingers had been enough to let him see what she looked like when she came. He was looking forward to continuing to discover her.

He was stroking her hair when she woke, humming a little in pleasure before realizing where she was and lifting herself off him with a start. Jane enjoyed the glimpse of her breasts in sunlight before looking at her face, shock and dismay warring with wonder and love.

"Good morning," he smiled, leaning up to kiss her.

"Oh, God," she said, closing her eyes.

"Now don't tell me that was a goodbye," he said, losing a little of his good cheer. "In case I wasn't clear, I want you to stay. I'll do anything and everything necessary to make that happen. I'll give you that stable life Pike promised you: marriage, a house, whatever. But this time it'll be with the man you love, who desperately loves you in return."

Lisbon let out a long sigh and looked at him, judging his sincerity. He meant it, and he watched her start to believe it. But she was thinking of the call she would have to make and break Pike's heart, he knew.

"It'll be okay," he soothed. There might be bad moments, but he would make her happy. He planned to devote his life to it.

She lay back down, letting him cuddle her. "Your timing sucks," she grumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry." He stroked her hair again.

"No more getting drunk, or I'm leaving. I'm not going to be with an alcoholic," she continued.

"No more getting drunk," he promised. "Hey."

"What?" She eyed him with wary hope.

"I love you."

Lisbon blinked back tears. "I love you too."

He kissed her, feeling his body respond to her. As they began to explore each other, he pulled back for a moment to ask, "We can keep Esme, right?"

Lisbon smiled. "Yes, you can keep your cat. She's a sweetie. And she obviously means a lot to you."

"She does. She just needs someone to love her." He stroked her cheek. "Just like me."

"Then you're both in luck," she replied, leaning in to claim another kiss.

A/N: Okay, so I wrote this in a rush. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway!