Chapter One

A Morning Of Burred Confusion

SAM

Last night was a blur. I have no idea what happened. I have only memories of Carly, Gibby, Valarie, and Freddie. Mostly Freddie, and I can't piece it together. But this was all my dream last night. I wake up in Carly's living room on her couch. I stretch myself out and get up. I walk to the bathroom, hearing the shower, so I walk to the kitchen. I turn the faucet to cold and let some water into my hands and apply it to my face with a big splash. I shiver in reaction to how cold the water was to my face, and then search the fridge for bacon. I finally find a package and put it in the microwave, being to lazy and smart not to cook it on the stove. My stomach growls and I moan loudly. But I hear footsteps and I'm greeted by Carly. "Hey, when did you get here?"

"I don't know. I barely remember last night." I turn to the microwave to see if it's done, which it's not, "Do you have anything stored in your brain?"

"I'd rather not say." she says and notices the bacon in the microwave, "You don't microwave bacon."

"You can if you're Sam Puckett." I say, and we giggle for a second, "So, why won't you not tell me what happened last night?"

"Okay. I'll tell you when you're bacon's done in the microwave."

"I Can't wait two minutes! Tell me now!" I say and shake her while doing so.

"Okay! You and I..."

And to my bad luck, Fredward Benson walks inf from across the hall. "Oh, hey Freddie."

"Hello Carly. Hey babe."

"Hey." I say. that being all I have to say.

"Someones cranky." he says and my bacon is done, "You made bacon in the microwave?"

"Okay, why do you people care?"

"I think it's kinda weird that you'd put bacon in the microwave when you could cook it on the... oh. I get it now."

"I don't!" Carly says and we sit down at the table and each grab a slice.

"It's cold."

"Well I'm sorry for not trying to cause a fire!" I say, still wanting them to get over it, "So, what happened?"

"Okay. You and I met in he gym locker rooms, and one thing led to another, and I kissed you."

"What? Carly!"

"No, it's okay. And then after, at this party Valarie for you wanted to go somewhere private and..."

My eyes widened and Carly tearfully nodded her head. "Um, Freddie. I need to talk to you. Alone." I say and drag him by his ears to the elevator and go to the iCarly studio.

As soon as the elevator opens, I shove him thin the studio and he rubs his ear which is cherry red. "Ow!"

"How stupid are you?"

"I'm not the only one that wanted to do it here!"

"Oh whatever! So I kissed Carly and slept with you? What the hell was wrong with me?"

"Nothing really. Carly kissed you by herself."

"NOT THAT PART IDIOT!" I say and grab him by his shirt and then let him so with a shove.

"Okay, I'm not safe in this either. If my mom found out, I'd be dead, and that's not a joke!"

I slap him in frustration and pace back and fourth. "You are such an idiot! But it's my fault, sorta. Well, it's both of our faults. Well either way, if I'm... you know what... we're both screwed!"

But there's a knock on the door, and it's Spencer. "Hey, I left my shaving cream in there last time for your guy;s bit and I need it back."

"We're busy! Plus, you have no man hair to shave anyway!" I say and he rolls his eyes and walks off.

"So, I'll go home and check. If it's right, I'm gonna kill you."

"Okay. But I'm coming with you."

"Fine. But we can't tell Carly."

"That defeats the whole purpose of friendship!"

"We kept a secret from her before, we can do it again."

"Fine." he says and we both get in the elevator and hit the button to the lobby.

I'm going to be screwed.