Hiei's Horrors
From the Pen of
The Fan-Girl From Hell
"Suichi...Hiei..." Alanna's voice was weak as she gasped between contractions and the two leaned closer to hear what she was going to say to them. She reached out and laid a hand on either chest. As the next contraction hit, she clenched her hands into fists, pulling the collars of their shirts choking tight as she shouted into their faces, "You did this to me, you assholes! I am never eating cookies with you again!"
Hiei pulled back his fist to defend himself just as she released their shirts and pushed them away. The intern and the nurses exchanged a glance as Kurama pushed him back. Delivery room violence was nothing new, although it was usually the laboring mother who committed it. And they never remembered it the next morning.
"Hiei, you can't hit her, she's already in pain." Hiei growled and pulled himself free from Kurama's grasp, but made no attempt to approach the woman writhing on the bed.
"Yeah, Dad," the mental voice of Helios was full of scorn. "We're having a hard enough time here already without you 'helping!'" Alanna interrupted any attempted conversation with another loud groan. Kurama went over to try to comfort her and found his hand caught in a crushing grip for his efforts.
The intern had moved to the foot of the bed and set up the stirrups for Alanna's heels. He took one look and rushed out to find the doctor. "I can see a head," he said to the nurse in passing.
He headed down the hall as Alanna waved her free hand toward Hiei calling, "Shorty! Now!" Hiei hesitated only a second before consigning his hand to her grasp. A second later, another contraction struck and a small bald head popped out, followed almost immediately by yet another contraction and the rest of the baby's body. Kurama managed to pull his hands loose and leap forward just in time to prevent the infant from falling to the floor.
The doctor arrived on the scene to find Hiei and Kurama each standing there with a wet, bloody, screaming baby, both still attached to their mother by umbilical cords and Alanna just pushing out the afterbirth. The babies were cut loose, knotted, cleaned, measured, weighed and wrapped in warm blankets while Alanna was cleaned and moved to a dry set of sheets and the three of them were snuggled into bed together in record time.
Hiei and Kurama were left to fend for themselves as far as getting cleaned up went. Fortunately there was a shower in the bathroom and they had brought clean clothes with them. By the time they were done, the boys were asleep and Alanna was not far behind. There was a single sleeper sofa in the room for the fathers and both of them eyed it with serious misgivings.
"It's OK," Alanna said. "You guys were here for the tough part. You can go home now. But Shorty, I expect to see you here bright and early with a double cappuccino latte with extra cream and two blueberry cheese danishes. These people do not seem to understand the necessity of proper nutrition for a nursing mother."
"Please, make it decaf, Dad," came a sleepy mental whisper. "We don't want to be bouncing off the walls. We just want to pass all the silly tests and go home."
Kurama smiled at that and both he and Hiei said their farewells for the night and went home. The next day, Alanna and both boys were released and went home as well. There was no notation anywhere about anything unusual with the family in the hospital records.
Once Alanna and the boys were home and settled into their respective resting places, life seemed to fall into a new pattern. Instead of getting up every few hours to feed the boys, Alanna found it much easier to just bring them to bed with her. Hiei and Kurama were shuffled to the spare bed in the nursery and the sofa. There simply wasn't room in the master bedroom's bed for all five of them.
Alanna took a hiatus from her musical career. The paparazzi followed them around for a while, but when there was nothing more interesting than a normal (apparently) family for them to photograph, they gave up. They never seemed to get any scandalous pictures of Alanna and either of the men in her life. They never even got a good clear shot of the babies.
After the boys started sleeping through the night and no longer needed to be cared for every few hours, they were moved back to their own cribs. Two nights of that and they started sharing a crib so they would not cry. Hiei and Kurama moved back to their respective places and life went on.
2