Well, I saw some of the Familiar of Zero summoning one-shot Memes, of what if happen summons, along 'specially' with Red VS. Blue from General RTS which the author called the story 'Idiots of Zero' to make that story very enjoyable and cause some inspiration for me.
So this one-shot meme I'm about to do is involve with the Trolls-yes this is a Homestuck crossover of our favorite 12 troll victims, which each troll will be under the pink hair, low-esteem girl to be her familiar with their reactions of what they'll do in a 'terrible' way in each chapter.
To start this story off; we'll go to the lowest bloods to the higher bloods to be Louise's 'slave' for a while. So Karkat is up first!
So let's start this one-shot story of each troll familiar summoning!
Short side-note, I don't own Familiar of Zero or Homestuck from the Hussie okay?
12 trolls of familiars
Part 1: A hot-blooded prick
Alright…we've been contacted by these weird, retarded humans that one of our insufferable fuckers met them. So it's time to help their sorry asses before something really goes fucked up, like everyone's dying, fighting some psychotic green-monster, or meeting our dimensional ancestors' bullshit that I can't fucking stand!
"I beg of you."
Plus they'll-what in the nook sucking fuck?! What the fuck was that?!
"My servant who lives somewhere in the universe!"
Alright, who's the fucker saying that?! If Sollux is playing one of Tavros audio music to help of his low self-esteem, rap bullshit to some random human douchebag, I swear, I'm going to berate the fuck out of my yellow-blooded asshole in this Gog forsaken shithole meteor that we're forced to move in here!
"I desire and here I plead from my heart!"
"Okay, any of you fucking assholes are hearing this fucking voice that I'm fucking hearing?!" As my insufferable retarded team who're doing their daily bullshit. Everyone then stopped and then eyed on me with an expression of 'what the fuck you're talking about' look.
"Karkat, what in the fuckiing grub are you talking about? I don't hear 2hit then those obnoxiou2 voice2 that are in my head?!" Oh really Sollux? Then why is there a random fucking voice that starts speaking to me you Nook Licker Bastard!
"Answer my guidance!"
"Look, I'm hearing bullshit you stupid-WHAT THE GRUBBING FUCK?!" Suddenly, A FUCKING LIGHT CAME IN AND CONSUMED MY ASS THAT-
(Later somewhere in the Academy)
(Louise)
*BOOM!*
Hearing another explosion and smoky dust everywhere, I was losing hope from my peers as they kept laughing of another 'failed zero' ritual spell.
Then, I hear screaming…in a squeaky voice?
" HOLY FUCKITY FUCK ME! AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?"
Seeing the smoke finally dissipated away, I finally saw what's my familiar is…
And it's…a gray demon sort?
"WAIT, WHERE THE FUCK AM I!?"
I panicked when I saw this unholy creature as I aim my wand at this really vow mouthed demon!
…A really cute, shorted, little demon actually…
"Louise summoned a demon thing! I know you're a zero but summoning a creature like that is really unfathomable to me!" Ah, suck on that Kirche and-
"ANYONE CAN FUCKING TELL ME WHERE AM I!" Ignoring this creature's rant, I come up to him and spotted…his really adorable stubby like horns…dear Founder, I really want to hug him!
Getting closer to him, inches away from his lips to make the contract…but he begins to squirm and having a tantrum.
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE INVADING MY PERSONAL-BUBBLE HERE YOU BULDGE WHORE BITCH!" Oh shut it you little nubby horn-
(Later)
(Louise's room)
"FUCK YOU, YOU SICK MAMMAL HUMAN CREATURE! I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING DRESS YOU, YOU LITTLE VRISKA COPY BITCH!"
Trying to convince my Familiar Troll to dress me, but he kept on having tantrums and persisting of my request to him.
"I BELIEVE I'M STARTING TO HAVE A FUCKING BLACK-ROM WITH YOUR ANNOYING ASS!" Black-rom, what is that again Familiar? Some sort of drink your kind use?
"What's black-rom…is it a drink?" I then regretted my decision as he begins to boast on about explaining his weird culture of his kind.
"You really want to fucking know? Well Black-rom is the quadrant part of our relationship which is Black and gray-"
Now I'm really regretting on asking him to dress me…
(In Kirche's room)
(Karkat)
Oh my sweet Jegus Ancestor! GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME YOU STUPID HUMAN!
When I saw the red lizard thing that Vriska copying bitch has black-rom with the Kirche human, the thing suddenly tackled me and dragging my ass to Gog forbid, to her Kismesissitude's Hive.
When we've entered, the Kirche human then tackled me and starting a unwanted matespritship with me.
Struggling to get out of this tanned human, I'm about to have a fucking meltdown when she tries to touch my buldge and keep ranting on about Human relationships or all that crap that I don't care!
"Ti-hi, your extremely cute Sir Vantas, come on Car Kitty, let me embrace the Red-rom thing you keep ranting on and I'll show you a thing or two of our race!"
That's it; I fucking losing my temper to this bitch!
"OH FUCK YOU, YOU SLUT WHORE LUSUS FUCKING TABOO HUSSY LOVER FUCKASS! GET YOUR HAND OFF ME YOU HORNY BULDGE LEAKING, NOOK FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! YOUR FUCKING EYES IS A LAVA OCEAN! YOUR FUCKING CHEST IS A LAVA OCEAN OF RETARDED CHERUBS DEATH JOKES AND A DOUCHEBAG HUMAN I WAS ABOUT TO ENCOUNTER! YOUR CHEST ALSO EQUIUS LUSUS WHO HAVE FUCKING UTTERS TO GIVE HIM MILK! YOUR BRAIN IS A NEPETA THAT I DON'T FUCKING CARE OF! AND I'M DONE WITH YOUR RACIST IDEAS ABOUT MY SPECIES YOU FUCK, FUCKITY FUCK, FUCK YOU STUPID MOOBEAST!"
I then breathe in…and breathe out. Getting my oxygen of that extreme meltdown I have.
Looking back at Kirche expression, she then froze for a moment with no emotion at all…then tiny liquid things start to pour out of her eyes.
Oh no-please stopped crying-I-I-…I didn't mean it since you gone too far-
"Karkat…I think we must leave…now!" Oh crap…Vriska clone bitch is here and she heard my meltdown emotion!
(Inside a shack)
"This door may lay the sealed demon deity who has destructive powers to destroy an entire country where the Thief hid it." Yeah, yeah, Seal Demon ay-whatever, I don't care short, Vriska copying bitch and let's do this already!
Opening up the door that let's inside this dusty Hive, I saw…a giant gold chest?
Walking up to it, I place my two hands on the container, and lifted up to appear…
…
An orange guy hid inside?
The orange guy has a green shirt with a white sword and black wings of the logo, he doesn't have a mouth, or pupils at all.
What in the Gog's name is this creature-?
Before I can finish my statement, the entire Hive begins to shack as I saw the roof begin to fracture apart. I see the midnight sky when cracks begin to form.
Suddenly, a giant monster that came out of the fucking Flarp game, and tear the roof apart like it was nothing to him!
"I see you four are screwed, don't worry. I'll improvise you with…someone." Oh Jebus, this orange guy can talk without a fucking mouth! What next, Sollux appeared out of nowhere and use him as cannon of death ray-
"HEY! What the fuck! Let me go you iin2ufferable a22hole!" That stand corrected, I really need to shout my mouth up.
"What the grub your-oh 2weet Jegu2 no, get that 2hiit away from me!" When Sollux saw the jar of mind honey, he starting to freak out and squirming out of the douche's hands-oh you gonna' eat it before the giant rock asshole can squash our rumpus ass!
"EAT IT YOU YELLOW ASSHOLE BEFORE IT KILLS US!" When Sollux notice my voice and hearing a large fucking grumbling noise above us, he begins to fucking panic like the rest of us.
"What iin the nook 2uckiing crap we're iin a22hole-"Before he can bitch at me, the orange guy poured the mind honey into his mouth before he can notice that shit dripping in him.
He body begins to spark like crazy with all the blue and red electricity radiating out of him and his eyes begin to glow tremendously.
In this circumstance, he must eat the mind honey than his brain suffering from it!
A burst of gigantic psionic energy crap then shit out of his eyes as beam of blue and red lasers ripping that huge rocky creature as it shred into pieces.
And then there were none…
[Candy blood: done]
Sorry for this being freaking short, but I was busy with other crap that I'm less focus from this thing. I'm typing away in my Madness Combat fan-fictions, continuing on some Homestuck projects, and other crap I need to handle of my writing.
So yeah, Karkat's done, next is Aradia the friendly troll.