Don't Say A Word
by Bren Ren
~~*S*~~
Summary: Clark takes a slightly different approach in revealing his feelings to Lois when she is considering Luthor's proposal.
Rating: M for adult situations
Chronology: Season 1, Barbarians at the Planet
Author's notes: This is my first foray into the world of Lois and Clark fic, even though I've been an avid (read: obsessed) fan of the show from day one, way back when. This story was inspired by a suggestion I read somewhere that Clark should have kissed Lois when he confessed that he was in love with her. The muse took that idea and ran with it, and this little story has been playing in my mind ever since. I finally have the time to start writing again, so... without further ado ('cause I'm sure you've had enough already!) I hereby offer my humble first submission of a Lois and Clark story. Happy fic-ing!
~~*S*~~
Clark sat down on the bench, closing his eyes for a moment while gathering the courage to say what he needed to say. That the strongest man in the world needed every ounce of courage he possessed certainly said something about the importance of this moment. He knew that his words would forever alter the course of their relationship... and he was fairly certain that she wasn't quite ready for it. He wouldn't be telling her this now had his hand not been forced, but he couldn't live with himself if he didn't take this chance now, before it was too late. Before he lost her forever to that monstrosity parading himself around as the world's greatest humanitarian.
He took a slow deep breath before opening his eyes and pinning her with his gaze, silently pouring out all of the love he held for her, willing her to see it. "Lois, when I thought about losing my job at the Planet, saying goodbye to Perry, Jimmy, everyone... I realized something...I realized I could lose all that and still go on. I realized there was only one thing I didn't want to live without... and that was you. Seeing you every morning, working with you, being with you."
"That's why you should-"
"No." His voice hardened on that simple little word. Lois blinked in surprise. ""Lois, listen to me. I'm not talking about our partnership. I'm talking about us." He paused as she wrinkled her brow in confusion. Clark sat up straighter, turning to face her more directly . "I've been in love with you for a long time." Lois gasped. "You must have known."
It took her a moment to form words; when she spoke, her voice was soft, a note of surprise in her hushed tone. "I knew..."
Clark lifted a hand and placed a finger to her lips. "Please, Lois, don't... don't say anything right now. Just think about it."
As he lowered his hand, she started to speak. "Clark-"
"Please," he asked again. Then, before she could try again, he raised a hand to cup her cheek, drawing her towards him. As their eyes locked and a thousand unspoken messages passed between them, Clark lowered his head until their lips finally made contact.
At that first soft, gentle caress, Lois gasped again, her eyes widening briefly before drifting shut. Clark, too, closed his eyes as he slowly increased the pressure between them, the hand at her cheek gliding around to clasp the back of her head. He held her firmly as his lips moved over hers.
A low moan rose up through Lois, and to his utter delight, she began to respond, her mouth molding with his. It was Clark's turn to moan, low and deep, when he felt the soft tip of her tongue touch his lips. His response was instant; eager, but not demanding. He slid his own tongue out to taste her, and she immediately opened up beneath him.
After an endless moment of slow exploration, Clark pulled away, ending the kiss as gently as it had begun. He opened his eyes to look at her. Her eyes remained closed, her lips slightly swollen from their activities. Her breathing was short and shallow, and as she finally opened her eyes, Clark was immensely relieved and filled with no small amount of hope at seeing her features fill with wonder.
"Please, just... think about it." Clark stood to take his leave, but as he turned away, she reached out and grabbed his hand. He turned back to face her. They simply stared at one another for a few seconds before she offered him a small, tentative smile and a gentle squeeze of his hand. He returned the gesture before pulling away, his smile just as small, but filled with all of his love for her. At last, he turned and walked away.
~~*S*~~
For the longest time, Lois simply sat there on the bench, her expression stunned and her mind a jumble of thoughts and feelings spiraling out of control. Abruptly, she stood and walked to the street, hailing a taxi to take her home, LNN completely forgotten.
After locking herself inside the private sanctuary she called home, she kicked off her shoes, leaving them wherever they had landed, and went straight to the refrigerator to liberate her standby supply of double chocolate ice cream. She grabbed a spoon and made her way back to the living room, flopping down on her less than comfortable sofa.
Clark was in love with her! Her partner, the man who had managed to somehow sneak past all her defenses to become a very good friend indeed, had actually fallen in love with her. Her. Lois Lane, the success-driven career woman of the nineties, the poster child for the classic type-A personality, the woman no man dared get close to unless he was utterly invulnerable.
Of course, that thought led her straight to thoughts of Superman, the one man she had allowed herself to believe in, to have feelings for. The one man who was safe to love, because after all, he was the ultimate fantasy. And what made him the ideal candidate for her fragile heart was the fact that he was essentially the unattainable ideal.
Unlike Clark, who was right there at her fingertips, offering himself to her. Completely available, undeniably attractive (she would never admit just how many nights she had dreamed of that little white towel falling to the floor that morning she had gone to pick him up for work), and raised by loving parents who taught him good manners, good morals, and what real love really means. He wasn't the casual fling type, he was a forever kind of guy, and for some crazy, unfathomable reason, he wanted her.
Forever. The very word was terrifying to Lois. Forever had never really meant forever in her experience. In the quiet of her apartment that afternoon, she finally admitted to herself what she had spent the last year denying: if she gave Clark a chance, if she opened up her heart to him, let him in, let herself feel all those dangerous emotions churning beneath the surface, and it turned into the same federal disaster as every other relationship she'd ever had, she very well may never recover. She would lose not only her lover, but her partner and friend as well, and life would never be the same.
It was much easier, much safer, to keep Clark relegated to the friend category, to ignore and deny the connection she felt with him. And, oh, did she feel it. Every time he smiled at her, every time he brought her a cup of coffee fixed just the way she liked it, every time she found them finishing one another's sentences, she felt it. It was real, and it was strong. Stronger than anything she'd ever felt.
Well, almost anything.
There was one connection she felt that was just as strong, just as real. She felt it every time she was with Superman. Whether standing beside him or being cradled in his arms as he flew her to safety, there was no denying the powerful sense of connection she felt to the caped hero. It was more than attraction, though that was obviously there in spades. She'd lost count of the times she told herself that it was love, nearly convincing herself that it was the only real love she had ever felt.
But only nearly. Now, sitting in her gradually darkening apartment as evening set in, she realized that the feelings of love she felt for Superman were running neck and neck with the feelings she discovered herself to be harboring for her bespectacled partner. How could she possibly hold such strong feelings for two different men at the same time?
As she set the now-empty ice cream carton on the low table beside her, another realization dawned on her. She had absolutely no business considering the proposal of marriage from a man she knew without a doubt that she did not love. She released a small sigh of relief as that decision was made. She would contact Lex tomorrow and tell him that she would not marry him.
One man down, two men left. For a moment, Lois thought about calling for Superman, to ask him once and for all if there was any chance for them, but she held back. She couldn't put Clark in the position of being runner-up to anyone, even Superman. If she decided to be with Clark, it would not be that she chose him because he was all that was left. He deserved so much better than that.
Hopelessly confused now, though, Lois decided that she needed something to help her relax; nearly every muscle in her body was aching from the emotional tension building up inside her. She stood slowly, taking the empty carton back to the kitchen to be disposed of before heading back to her bedroom. She stood there for a moment before deciding her course of action. She selected one of her favorite negligees, a filmy light blue gown with a matching robe, then made her way to the bathroom for a long soak in a hot bubbly tub.
~~*S*~~
Flying through the air as he wound up his evening patrol of Metropolis, Clark Superman Kent found himself drifting towards Lois Lane's apartment. Although he told himself he wasn't going to see her tonight, he couldn't seem to help himself. He was drawn to her, as always; when he reached the skies directly over her dwelling place, he tried, feebly, to convince himself to turn away after assuring himself that she'd made it home all right.
Soft lights were glowing through the curtained windows, and he felt himself sinking lower and lower until he was directly in front of the always-open window of her upper-story home. He closed his eyes in self-defeat, resolving then that this would be the last time Superman paid a late evening visit to Lois Lane. It was time to put an end to the fantasy once and for all, no matter how much it hurt them both. It was the only way they could ever have a real relationship. He lifted his hand and gently tapped on the glass.
He heard her gasp his name a few seconds before the curtains parted, revealing the most lovely Lois he had ever seen. She was clad in a soft, silky, way too sexy gown, thin spaghetti straps barely holding the material over the swell of her cleavage. A small smile graced her features as she stood back, silently inviting him in.
"I... I wasn't expecting you... or anyone... um... I'll just... let me go put on a robe," she managed in a low voice. Clark nodded once, and she turned away, disappearing into her bedroom.
He swallowed hard the moment she left the room. This was going to be harder than he thought, in more ways than one. Again he told himself that this had to be done, that it was the only way for them to truly be together the way he wanted, the way they both deserved.
Moments later, Lois returned, wearing the robe that matched the gown. While certainly more demure than the gown alone had been, she was still sexier than he had ever remembered seeing her. He clenched his jaw briefly as he willed his body to stop responding so viscerally to her appearance.
"We need to talk." His voice was low, serious, and deeper than ever.
"Yes, we do," Lois agreed, much to his surprise. "There have been a lot of things going on in my life lately... a lot of changes, and... well, to be honest, I'm... confused. Really, really confused. I don't even know where to start."
"Then perhaps I should go first." Lois regarded him for a moment before nodding. Before he could speak again, though, she turned away, walking over to sit on one of her settees. He followed, sitting down beside her. Close, but not too close.
"Lois, you should know that this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do." He gently took one of her hands in his. "The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. I would do everything in my power to protect you from any pain... but there's something I need to make clear. Something I'm sure you don't want to hear as much as I don't want to say."
He could see by the look in her eyes that Lois had a pretty good idea as to what was coming. "Then don't say it." Her voice was scarcely more than a whisper, and he thought he saw the beginnings of tears welling up in her eyes. He silently cursed himself for what he knew was to come.
"I'm sorry, Lois. So very sorry. I care about you, more than you know, but... there are a lot of things that you don't know about me."
"Of course there are," she replied, her voice finding strength at last. "And there are a lot of things that you don't know about me."
"I'm sure there are... but that doesn't change the situation." He found himself struggling to find the words to end her dreams of a romance with Superman while remaining honest; no matter how difficult it was, though, he would not lie to her outright.
Lois narrowed her eyes. "What situation would that be, Superman?"
"I know you want more than just friendship, Lois, but the truth is... you are never going to have the kind of relationship you've been fantasizing about." Lois opened her mouth to speak, then shut it just as quickly, turning her head away and closing her eyes. "If the world knew that Superman was involved with you, your life wouldn't be your own anymore. Between the public hounding your every move and the villains of the world doing all they could to use you against me, you would never be safe. You would never have a moment's peace. I refuse to put you in that position, and I can't allow you to put yourself there, either."
She slowly opened her eyes and turned back to face him. When she spoke, her voice was again very soft, nearly cracking every other word. "The world wouldn't have to know."
He shook his head sadly. "You deserve better than some clandestine, secret affair. You really wouldn't be happy with that, and I think you know it." He watched as she swallowed hard, blinking back tears she refused to allow to fall. He gently squeezed her hand before releasing it as he finally stood up. With no small reluctance, he turned away and walked back to the window.
"Superman, wait!" Lois hurried over, her hand at his shoulder turning him back to face her. "This is it, isn't it? It's really goodbye."
He gave her a small smile. "I will always be your friend, Lois. No matter what." He watched her nod as she stepped in closer to him, the hand at his shoulder slowly gliding up and around his neck. He saw and recognized the unmistakable look in her eyes, closing his own as he surrendered to the inevitable.
As her mouth touched his, his hands came up to gently clasp her about the waist. He tried, he really tried, to keep his emotions in check as their lips merged, but it was a hopeless battle, utterly lost the moment he felt her tongue slide across him. He couldn't resist responding in kind, allowing himself just the smallest taste of her before he finally convinced himself to pull away.
As he stepped back, he reached up to gently caress her cheek one last time before he floated up off the ground and through the window. As her hands dropped to her sides, he watched a single tear slide down her cheek before he tore his gaze away and sailed out of her sight.
~~*S*~~
For a long moment, Lois stood at the window, staring absently at the path Superman had taken. Finally, releasing a long sigh, she reached out and pulled the window closed, fastening the latch for the first time in almost a year. She really was letting go of the dream, the fantasy.
As she turned back to look around her apartment, she was surprised to find that the pain she expected to feel... simply wasn't there. She had thought her heart would be breaking into a million pieces right about now, considering how strong her feelings for the superhero had been, and yet... She felt the loss, and it did hurt, but it wasn't the all-consuming anguish she would have expected from saying goodbye to the man she loved.
Did that mean that she hadn't really loved him?
She thought about that one for a while, then shook her head. No, she was certain that what she had felt was love, but... perhaps it had been more of an infatuation than truly being in love with the man. And, honestly, what red-blooded woman on the planet wasn't at least a little infatuated with him? He was easily the most gorgeous being she had ever laid eyes on, and he was completely good, compassionate, kind, caring, and so much more. But when it came right down to it, he really was just a fantasy. And she had known that all along.
Oh, he was a great fantasy, there was no denying that. Past dreams flitted through her mind, of late night flights, romantic dinners in the world's most exotic locations. He was a man who could satisfy her every whim... when he wasn't busy saving the world.
But she couldn't ever recall imagine any sort of normal relationship type activities with Superman. Going out to the movies. A simple, quiet dinner at home. Whiling away a rainy day playing board games. Hanging out at a weekend barbecue with a few good friends.
On the other hand, she could all too easily picture doing all those things with Clark.
Clark.
Her partner.
The man who had become quite probably the closest friend she'd ever had, even in spite of her sometimes awful treatment of him in the early days of their acquaintance.
The man who had, that very afternoon, confessed that he was in love with her, that he had been for a long time.
So how did she feel about him? She began to smile slowly. She knew she loved him, but was she in love with him?
Her mind wandered back through the months that she had known him. He had always been there for her, had always offered her his friendship even when she knew she didn't deserve it. Like the time that she had stolen his story. Her smile faded and she felt her cheeks warming in an embarrassed flush. He'd certainly repaid her in full for that one, sending her to get lost in the wilds of the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility in her furious quest to track down Superman shortly after his debut. He had earned her respect, although if she were completely honest with herself (and wasn't that the point of this little exercise in introspection?), she would admit that he'd started earning it when they had first been assigned to work together. 'You like to be on top. Got it.' As his teasing words echoed in her mind, she again felt her cheeks warm in a blush.
He could keep up with her on the job, no small feat, she knew. He could match wits with her, and she enjoyed the back and forth parrying of their verbal banter, on and off the clock. He was the first man she really felt comfortable with, whether they were in the newsroom or just hanging out sharing pizza and a movie after hours. She looked forward to seeing him every day, and had truly missed him in the days since the Planet's demise.
But did that all add up to being in love? She still wasn't sure. And that was beginning to frustrate her. Why was she so hesitant, so reluctant to open herself up to him in that way?
As soon as she thought the question, though, she knew the answer. There was too much to lose. Her track record in the relationship department left a lot to be desired. If she were to risk her heart with Clark only to have it blow up in her face the same way every other relationship she had been in had done, she wouldn't just lose a lover, she'd lose her friend. And the very idea of losing Clark was unbearable.
So where did that leave her?
Exhausted, she realized. She glanced at the clock and realized it was getting quite late. She decided that it was time to shut off these endless musings and get some rest. She only hoped her mind would cooperate and let her get some much needed sleep. She rose and made her way to bed, turning off the light only after she had nestled deep under the soft covers. She closed her eyes and willed her body to relax.
Her brain wasn't quite ready to shut down, though. As she lay in bed, she found herself again growing frustrated at her reluctance to gamble her heart in a romantic relationship with Clark. It wasn't like she was cowardly by nature. When it came to work, she was remarkably fearless in the pursuit of a story, even recklessly so at times. So why was it so hard to transfer that bravery to matters of the heart? She really was being a coward, and she hated herself for it.
Her last thought, as sleep slowly claimed her, was that if she could somehow find the courage to take a chance with Clark, she knew that she would be happier with him than she had ever been with anyone else. A warm smile filled her face as sleep finally came.
~~*S*~~
She was dreaming, and she knew it. And since she was dreaming, she decided that she would take this opportunity to forget about all her fears, to let go of them and focus on all the other feelings flowing through her.
She was on a plane, on Trask's plane, and he had just agreed to her "last request" to kiss Clark goodbye. She walked over to him, her eyes slowly raising to meet with his. She saw surprise there, as though this was the very last thing he had expected from her. She also saw something else... hope? Or perhaps... desire? That seemed crazy, and yet... she was pretty certain of what she saw. Then, she closed her eyes, tipped her head up and leaned forward until their lips connected.
His lips were soft and so very warm. She increased the pressure between them, moving across him slowly in a gentle caress. He was quick to respond, meeting her movements with equal intensity. To her utter amazement, she found a small pool of desire welling up deep in her belly... and then it was over. As they parted, she opened her eyes to look at him. She found his eyes had grown dark and seemed a bit hazy.
She knew that when this moment had actually transpired all those months ago, that she had leaned over to whisper instructions to attack their guards right after their kiss, but since this was a dream... she simply stared at him, trying to decipher the emotions she saw flitting across his face in those brief moments; there were many of them, and she was pretty sure she only caught a small fraction of what was there.
Surprise.
Wonder.
Pleasure.
Hope.
Fear.
Desire.
She closed her eyes as that last one registered, determined to savor it even as she acknowledge that every single one of those feelings was completely mutual.
When at last she opened her eyes, she was mildly surprised to find herself in the darkened newsroom of the Daily Planet, Clark approaching her slowly. The heat wave, she realized. He was about to kiss her goodbye. Again, she shifted her focus to what she was feeling as he closed in on her. When he finally bent down to press his lips to hers, she found herself sighing into him. Again, his mouth was soft and warm over hers, and again, she found herself slowly filling with unmistakable desire from the connection between them.
This kiss, too, was over almost before it began. As he straightened up, she reached out and grasped his hand, realizing this action was certainly different from what had actually transpired that long ago evening. She needed to see his eyes again, though. And once again, she saw that myriad of emotions crossing his expression before he turned away. Once more, Lois closed her eyes.
This time, she was less than surprised to find her environment had shifted around her; she was, however, quite shocked to see not Clark, but Superman standing before her. It slowly registered that they were at the air field. He must have just returned from stopping Miranda from showering Metropolis with her pheromone spray, and was apparently under its influence, for he had just proclaimed his love for her.
She heard herself repeating her words from that afternoon. "I can't take advantage of you... Oh, what the heck!" She launched herself at him, and he caught her in is arms as their mouths merged.
It was by far the most passionate kiss she had ever experienced at that point in her life. Lips and tongues moved together, tangled and teased as she felt herself being bent backwards. She clung tightly to him as the kiss miraculously deepened. Again, she felt that pool of desire forming deep inside, an ache within her begging for release. This kiss seemed to go on forever, and she never wanted it to end.
And yet, end it did, as she was slowly returned to a fully upright position, the movements of their mouths slowing and finally ceasing as they parted. She lifted heavy eyelids to gaze at him in wonder, then gasped at what she saw there. He was obviously just as affected by their encounter as she had been, and there was no small amount of desire filling those warm, dark, and suddenly, strangely familiar eyes. As he released her, she again closed her eyes, this time in confusion.
Her eyelids slowly lifted to reveal... Clark, who was grabbing her and throwing her down on a soft bed before covering her body with his own. The honeymoon suite of the Lexor, she vaguely realized as his mouth came crashing down on hers.
There was no hesitancy in this kiss, only passion and that increasingly familiar feeling of overwhelming desire. Her response was almost immediate, and certainly equaling his in passion and heat. Her arms came up to form a circle around his neck, and a whimper escaped her as one of his hands explored her face while the other trailed a fiery path down the side of her body. The whimper became a moan as his hand moved back up, his thumb grazing the side of her breast. The rest of the world ceased to exist as she got lost in their mutual exploration.
And then, without warning, it was over. Clark was slowly dragging himself away from her and she let her arms fall slack to her sides. She opened her eyes as she slowly sat up, but was disappointed to find that Clark wasn't facing her. She needed to see his eyes, to know what he was feeling in the aftermath of that incredible encounter. She swung her legs off the bed and stood, somewhat shaky, crossing over to where he stood at the end of the bed.
He still wouldn't meet her gaze, instead busying himself with their previous task of setting up the surveillance equipment. She reached over and turned him towards her, having to take his face in her hands to lift it from its downward cast. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers.
To her dismay, the first thing that she saw was fear, followed immediately by a poignant longing. She summoned up her courage and offered him a warm smile, delighted to see his features relax into an answering grin. Other emotions began to filter into his gaze as they continued to stare wordlessly at one another. That same longing and hope, mixed with no small amount of need and desire. She felt her blood begin to warm again, and she closed her eyes to savor the feeling.
When Lois opened her eyes once more, she found herself once again standing face to face with Superman.
"We'll go flying together," she heard him say.
"I hope so," she replied.
"Count on it." She watched as resolute determination filled his features. "I've got to go."
Summoning every bit of courage that she had left in the face of the impending disaster her dream had recalled, she stepped in closer to him, her voice so soft only his enhanced hearing could pick it up. "Good luck," she murmured before pressing her mouth to his.
His arms came around her right away, and she was delighted to feel him responding in equal measure to her mouth's caressing movements. Mixed in with her remembered fear and that ever-present sense of longing was that feeling of desire that was growing ever more intimate.
She was the one to break away from the embrace this time. She was strangely hesitant to look up into his eyes this time, for reasons that she couldn't quite grasp. When at last their eyes connected, though, she was immensely relieved to see his warm smile and undeniably tender longing in his eyes. She closed her eyes just as he turned away.
When she opened them, she found herself looking once again at Clark, sitting before her on that bench in the park. She started to speak.
"Clark?" But again, he silenced her immediately, his finger coming up to her lips.
"Please." There was as much of a plea in his eyes as his voice, and then came the inevitable. As his mouth came down on hers, she again gasped, wide-eyed, before letting her eyes drift shut. Once more she concentrated on all the emotions swirling through her mind and the almost violent feelings coursing through her body. So much pleasure it was almost painful. That now-familiar sensation of hot desire burning deep within, making her very blood feel like fire. Need and longing, fear and trepidation, hope and the most exquisite arousal she had ever known.
She felt him start to pull away, but this time she was not ready for it; she reached up with both hands, clasping his face and holding it to her own as her tongue dove deep inside his mouth. She was absolutely delighted by the guttural groan that rumbled deep in his chest, a sound she felt as much as heard. Then his arms wrapped around her as their tongues established a mind-blowing rhythm that almost kept pace with their thundering heartbeats.
After eternity came and went, Clark abruptly pulled back. Her eyes flew open and locked with his. There was no mistaking the red hot desire darkening his eyes into pools of blackness, and she was certain that the feeling was mirrored in her own gaze. They were both breathing heard, and she could feel his pulse pounding hard in the veins of his neck as she slowly disentangled her arms. He, too, slowly disengaged the rest of his body, his hands reluctantly releasing her waist after lingering for a few moments longer.
As their blood cooled, other emotions slowly began filtering in through the haze of desire still rich in his gaze. First came joy, followed quickly by a sort of wary hope. Fear trickled in, to be almost immediately swallowed by powerful longing. But underneath all of them was love. Pure, honest love, so strong it brought tears to her eyes.
Clark reached back to her with one hand, his fingers smoothing across her cheek. "Just think about it," he implored, his voice scarcely more than a whisper. Lois almost laughed this time. How was she supposed to think about anything else?
Clark stood, his hand only dropping from her face as he slowly turned and walked away. Once again, Lois sat there for a very long time, trying to collect her thoughts, cool her blood, filter her feelings, and calm her raging hormones. When she finally felt as though she had some semblance of control, she let her eyes drift shut.
When she opened them this time, she wasn't surprised to find herself standing in her own living room, her hand on the shoulder of her beloved caped superhero as he was slowly turning to face her.
"This is it, isn't it?" she heard herself ask. "This is goodbye." She swallowed hard against a rather large lump in her throat.
"I'll always be your friend, Lois. No matter what." Superman's voice was soft and low; almost, she thought, as if he were afraid it would crack the way hers had threatened to all night.
She stepped in closer to him, her hand slowly making its way across his shoulder and around behind his neck. She felt him tremble slightly as she tilted her head up towards him. She watched, fascinated, as his eyes filled with tender longing before slowly drifting closed as he lowered his mouth to meet hers in this final farewell kiss.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, it registered that this really would be the final kiss of this strange journey, and so she poured her heart into it. Once more, that potent blend of desire and need filled her, consuming her this time as their lips melded and merged. Her tongue darted out to capture one last taste of him, eliciting a low moan from both of them as he responded in kind.
Suddenly, though, it was over. He tore his mouth away from her, his breathing ragged as her eyes fluttered open to take in the sight of him one more time. Again there was that longing, as exquisite as it was heart-wrenching. A tear slipped down her cheek at the image of this powerful man looking so utterly helpless, and, for the first time that night, hopeless. His hand started to come up, but then something shifted in his eyes, and he spun around, floating silently out the window into the dark night.
Lois stood there staring, unseeing, until the cool night air began to seep through her thin gown. She reached up and closed the window, fastening the latch with a sense of finality. She stepped back and closed her eyes one last time.
~~*S*~~
Lois awoke suddenly, her eyes snapping wide open. She looked around in the darkness until she spied the alarm clock beside her bed, informing her that it was ridiculously early and that she was indeed in her own room. She lay there for a long time, the images and feelings of her dream replaying in her mind's eye.
Kissing Clark. Kissing Superman. Kissing Clark again.
All the longing. The need. The hope. The desire.
His eyes behind the glasses.
His eyes unencumbered by those lenses.
The way she responded to each and every one of those kisses.
Oh, god.
It was the same. It was always the same.
It was always the same because he was the same.
Clark and Superman were one and the same.
Oh, dear god.
~~*S*~~