Disclaimer: All characters from this story are Stephenie Meyer's. If it wasn't for her, none of us would have a reason to write these fanfics.
Bella POVI can remember the exact reason I decided to try heroin. I can remember why it felt so good once the fluid was running through my veins. I can remember how the first high felt. I can still feel that high when I do it now. It's my daily release from everything. It is my everything, now.
It's been really tough lately. My birthday's coming up, and that is one celebration I would rather not remember. It makes me think too much of them. God I hate them. They left me, and now look what I've become.
I need my release. Right now. Where's my damn bag?
I found my bag and started searching through it. I finally found my 'make-up' kit. That's what I tell Charlie it is, every time he asks. I still think it's amazing that he hasn't found out yet. Oh well.
I fill the needle and flick it a couple times to get the air bubbles out. Then I inject the syringe into my arm and push down. Instantly I feel the buzz. It's amazing. I could ride this wave forever.
"Bella?" I heard someone ask. Oh no. I'm still riding the high. How am I gonna hide it from them. And they sound close. I started to panic. I could feel the sweat dewing up on my neck. Oh no.
"Bella, what the hell is this?" the voice said. I knew that voice. It was the voice of my previous best friend. The one who had left me, just like Edward had.
"It's nothing, Jacob." I said, but I don't think he could understand me. I could barely understand myself.
"It doesn't look like nothing to me." He hissed.
"Well, it should be nothing to you. I mean, why do even care what it is? You left me remember. You don't want me, he doesn't want me, so why do you care what I'm doing?"
"That's rediculous Bella. You know the only reason I stopped talking to you was to protect you. Now this has to stop, or so help me..." He finished, with an empty threat.
"No Jacob. This has to keep going. I want this. And you know what else I want? I want you to leave Jacob. I want you to leave and never come back." I said this, knowing that it wasn't the truth.
"I know you don't mean that, Bella. And I'm not leaving you. Not when you're like this."
"Oh of course not. You're going to wait until I don't have anything to help me, and then you're going to leave me. That way it hurts more. Smart plan, Jacob. Too bad I'm not going to fall for it." I was starting to see clearly now, and what I saw was making me angry.
How dare he come back, just so he can leave me again. Jacob and Edward are the same after all.
"Ugh! Bella. This has to stop! I'm going to get you help. I'm going to be gone for a while. But when I get back, you better be in a better condition. If you won't listen to me when I tell you that you need to stop, then I'm going to get someone that you will listen to."
And then he left. I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone. I just needed myself, and my syringe.
The second my syringe came back into the front of my mind, I remembered that I didn't have anymore heroin, and that I needed to go see my dealer. I would have to wait until this weekend though, so Charlie would be out of the house. I could do that. I would have to do that.
Edward POVIt's been almost a year now, and it hasn't gotten any easier. I still couldn't believe that I had thought I was strong enough to leave her. But I had to be strong enough to stay away from her, to keep her from the pain that I was feeling.
I had wanted to go back so many times. Just to see if she was happy. But I knew that I couldn't, because then I would never be able to leave again.
Alice hasn't talked to me since I made her leave Bella. I can hear all of their thoughts, but Alice screams in hers. I can't blame her for hating me, because I hate myself. I wouldn't be surprised if my whole family ended up hating me.
But it made it worse, when I read in their minds, that they were worried about me instead. They were worried that I was going to eventually do something really dangerous.
They also were sad. They hadn't wanted to leave Bella anymore than I did. Not even, Rosalie. Though Rosalie acted like she hated Bella, she still couldn't help but become fond of her.
I felt guilty, because I had caused all these feelings within my family. I was the cause of their worry and sadness. I was the reason my family had basically fallen apart.
"EDWARD! Get down here now!" Carlisle thought. His thoughts sounded worried, so I was across my room and downstairs within seconds.
"What? What's wrong?" I asked, looking at all the faces of my family, who were staring back at me, with the same question in their eyes.
"Bella!" Alice choked out. I hadn't seen her, because she was sitting cuddled into Jasper's side, her face blank with a vision.
I was across the room in moments and was standing in front of Alice. "What Alice? What happened?"
"I don't know. I was watching for her future; I saw her looking for something in her bag. I didn't see what it was though, because all of a sudden her future disappeared. Almost as if she didn't have one. And now, when I look for our futures, they're gone too." Alice sobbed into Jasper's side.
"What do you think that means, Alice?" Carlisle asked, sounding like a doctor.
"I don't know. But it can't be anything good." She replied.
"Do you smell that?" Emmett asked, standing in the corner, head turned towards the front door." You can always count on Emmett to be the one to not take any situation seriously.
"Not now, Emmett." I growled. But it was too late. He was already at the door, when there were 2 quick, rough knocks.
He opened the door slowly, and in the frame, stood someone who I never expected to see again. Jacob Black.
"Um..." Emmett started, but he was speechless, just like the rest of us were.
"Well, I half expected to be thrown through a wall by now, so I'm all up for the rude greeting, right now." Jacob said sarcastically.
"What are you doing here?" I hissed. Standing up and walking over to Emmett. He smelled like a dog, and I had a pretty good reason as to why.
"Bella's the only reason I would ever come looking for you, leech." He barked (no pun intended) right back.
Instantly I was worried. If Jacob was what I thought he was, then he was probably here to kill me, for Bella. That would have to mean that something happened to Bella that was caused by me. Like I said, instantly worried.
"What happened?" I growled. I hoped he wasn't going to say something like she died, or she's been hurt, or changed. I don't think I would be able to handle it.
"Well, I guess I should be start at the beginning. I know you can read minds, leech, but the others probably want to know about it too." He said, standing in the doorway.
"Of course." Carlisle said. "Can I get you anything?"
"Uh, no I'm good...thanks." he said, clearly uncomfortable. Jasper's thoughts confirmed my suspicions.
"Very well, please have a seat." Carlisle said, gesturing towards a chair.
"Uh, ok?"
"I remained standing, still trying to read Jacob's thoughts. I was dying to know about Bella. I wanted to know what was wrong, so I could fix it.
"Now, what happened with Bella?" Carlisle asked, talking doctorly again.
"Well, when you all left, Bella didn't take it too lightly. To make a long story short, she started to do dangerous stuff. I don't know why, she never told me, but she did..."
"Wait." Alice interrupted. "Dangerous stuff, like what?"
"It all started off small. She would ditch school somedays. She would go out at night by herself. That's when Charlie asked me to start hanging out with her, so she would want to do something else. I had always liked Bella, so I said I would." Jacob glanced at me, trying to make sure I wasn't going to jump at him and tear him apart. As if.
"So we started hanging out." He continued. "We had a lot of fun. We would hang in my garage and just talk all the time. It was hard though because she didn't like to talk about anything that reminded her of you guys. It was clear she was in so much pain."
"I threw that in for your benefit, bloodsucker." Jacob thought at me.
"But we started to hang out everyday. One day, she brought a couple of bikes over, and she asked me to build them for her. One was mine, and the other, hers. I did of course, thinking that if I was the one to teach her to ride the bike, she would be in less danger. She wasn't.
It turned into a weekly visit to the hospital. But after a while, she got good at it, and the damages became less and less. That was when I turned into a werewolf." When he said this, all 7 heads turned towards him.
"What! I knew I smelled dog!" Rosalie hissed.
"You honestly can't be surprised. You all well knew that the Quileutes were werewolves." Jacob argued.
"You're absolutely right, Jacob. Rosalie just has a unique way of expressing herself. Please continue." Carlisle said, trying to defuse the situation.
"Right. As I was saying. I thought I wouldn't be a danger to Bella. But one day, I had to run the perimeters because we caught the scent of a vampire. That left Bella alone, on the day we were supposed to cliff dive.
Well, Bella wasn't having any of that I guess. So she went cliff diving by herself, when a storm was over the water. I heard her scream and went to save her. I was so mad at her, that she had almost taken herself from me. I was so mad, I almost changed right in front of her."
I couldn't help the snarl that errupted from my throat. Neither could Emmett or Jasper.
"Relax. After that I realized that I was dangerous to Bella. So I told her I couldn't be friends with her anymore. I didn't see her for about two months. Then the other day, I got a call from Charlie.
He told me that he was worried about Bella. He hadn't seen her in two days, because she was locked up in her room. So I went over to see what was going on, hoping it wasn't because of me. That's when I smelled it.
I smelled heroin. I didn't even think, I picked her lock and at the same time, I watched Bella drop a needle onto the ground. She leaned back into her bed and sighed. I was horrified.
I tried to talk some sense into her, but she blamed me, and you guys too, that she did this because we left her. She said that that was all she had. I didn't know what to do. So I started running, following your scents, to come and find you; hoping any of you could help me."
As he finished, everybody became completely still. Nobody knew what to say. Bella was doing heroin? How did she get the money? How could she continue to pay for it? My family's thoughts were about the same as mine.
"Well," Emmett said, breaking the silence. "I don't know about any of you, but I'm going back with Jacob. We can't let Bella do that. It's just not her."
"I'm with Emmett, of course." Rosalie said. To be honest, I was surprised that she even cared. I was getting hit with surprises left and right today.
"I think the five of you should go, and Esme and I will pack up all of our stuff." Carlisle said, nodding for us to leave. I didn't need any more answers. I was out the door within seconds, with my family following behind.
I needed to help Bella. I couldn't just let her throw her lif away; I couldn't let her kill herself. I drove her to this, and I'm going to be the one to fix it.
So what do you think? I hope you like it. It's going to get even better so keep reading. Review please. =)