It is hot. It is so hot that I feel like I could melt. All I can really do is lay on my bed in my underpants and look at the ceiling while sweating. Thinking is never good for me. The other day I was thinking too much and I did something I never thought that I would.
I had put her away three years ago after she sort of went on a rampage. Drakken finally made her snap. I know she kind of snapped because she stayed in jail. She let herself be taken in and stayed in jail. I went away to college in Upperton, I graduated a year early and I got a job for GJ right out of school. It all felt really...pointless though. I never really stopped thinking about her.
It bothered me at first. I hated thinking about her. I hated that I missed fighting her or even just seeing her. It bothered me a lot. It started to not bother me as time went on though. I started to like thinking about her and I enjoyed the time that she spent on my mind. I thought a little too hard the other day though.
It was hot like it is today and I was thinking much the same about her. Before I realized what was happening with my feet, I was facing Betty Director. She was raising her eyebrow at my stuttering and stumbling. When she stood up to face me, I was just frightened enough to spit it out. I told her that Shego should be let out of jail.
She actually started laughing in my face.
"What? I'm serious!" I tried to get her to listen to me, but it wasn't looking promising.
"Serious? Serious? What's serious is that we have one of the most dangerous criminals around in jail and she's actually staying there!"
"Right! And isn't that saying something? She's staying. Doesn't that show that she's changed?"
"It shows that we finally have her surrounded by the correct thickness of steel!"
"It's been three years. Don't you think that's enough?"
"Miss Possible, what has gotten into you? You know the punishment for the amount of grand larceny and general havoc she was involved in."
"She was just doing her job."
"Miss Possible, what's the real reason that you're here asking me for this?" I'm here because I can't get Shego off my mind. There. Now if only I could say that to Dr. Director. Of course, I couldn't. So I stayed silent and she came around her desk to put a hand on my shoulder.
"Miss Possible, go home. Everything is under control with Miss Go and any guilt that you are feeling for the situation is just in passing, I promise. You did the right thing. She is where she belongs." She lead me out the door while spinning exit pleasantries. I stood stunned for a moment after she closed the door behind me. I rubbed my head and tried to figure out what had convinced me that talking to Dr. Director was a good idea. I developed a headache as I was driving home and went to sleep early so that I wouldn't be tempted by any other brilliant ideas.
Of course, here I am again thinking, thinking of her and wondering why I'm sitting here and letting this happen. I am Kimberly Ann Possible and I can do anything, even get Shego out of jail. Hearing that in my head made me do a double take of myself. I must be going crazy to be thinking about getting Shego out of jail. She's there because she deserves to be there. Does she though? She was basically just following orders on most of the really illegal stuff that she had done. You can't exactly blame her for wanting to get paid.
And so its been flying through my head now. I've thought of all sorts of scenarios from completely legal ones to some where I end up destroying the jail and carrying her off Tarzan style. After thinking of some truly fantastic escapes, I can't help but wonder why I am thinking of this to begin with. The answer is fairly clear: I want her. I'm not entirely sure which way that I want her.
My mind has been a bit of a mess since Shego started to take over. I'm not sure what I want, I'm not sure what I need, I'm not sure why. If asked for a good explanation of why, I would stumble over myself like I did with Betty Director and end it with a "because".
Scarily, what I am feeling, I think I've felt before. In high school or sometimes while watching certain celebrates, I felt this way. It's a little different with Shego, but I know that I've had this feeling.
Its a crush. As in puppy love. As in 'I think I might be a little gay' crush. Apparently, you roll around in a grapple with your best enemy for a while and suddenly they're in your sex dreams.
I probably shouldn't have admitted to that one, but it was a one time thing. Well, one and a half. Either way, there she was and I'll be damned if my mind's vision of her wasn't totally hot. And, of course after that, I've been having trouble getting that image out of my mind, not that I really mind having it there.
The heat is too much. The sweat is seeping into my brain and making me crazy. I need to go do something that I may regret, but I am not going to be stopped.
And once again, the nerves in my feet betray me and I have somehow made my way to the high security prison. I shake my head back to reality as I pull my finger away from the call button. There is a heavy metallic thud and an electric buzzing as the gate slowly opens and two guards with visible bullet proof vests come to gather me. I'm not actually here, I just think that I am. Of course, then I'm in front of the warden and she knows my name and is happy to see me after all of the criminal backwash that I've sent in over the years.
I'm here to check in my old foe. I've decided to take up a hobby of cordial visits. I hear myself say something that I guess was believable because next they're leading me down a row of heavy metal doors. At the end, there's a door with a flattened purple origami swan taped to the window. I know immediately that I'm going to see her come out of that one, not the plain one to my left or right. Sure enough with a turn of a key and the entry of an electronic passcode, a lock clicks and I am able to peer behind the door to see an amazing sight indeed.
Hanging from the ceiling, taped to the walls, littered on the floor, strewn over the desk and bed, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of origami figures. Peering further in, I can see the figure of my dreams sitting at a desk with a stack of coloured pages. She finishes a beautiful bird figure before she turned to us.
"Can I help you gentlemen?" She says as she turned in her chair. The second her eyes lay on me, her expression goes wide and amazed. She stares openly as she gets up. It doesn't look like she's going to kill me...
"Kimmy?" She asks as she walks cautiously to me.
"Hi, Shego." I put on a smile to try to make things less awkward. She grins at me.
"What are you doing here?" She's still walking to me cautiously. I end up holding out my arms to her. I can feel the confused stares of the guards burn through my back. She takes my hand softly in hers and stops.
"I...It's just been a while. Just want to make sure that you're still doing alright." She's staring deep into my eyes as if she's waiting for me to do something: to lunge at her, to slap her, to get mad at her. I don't want to do any of that of course. I with that she would trust me.
"Ladies, would you like to move into the gathering room?" The guards startle me when they question us.
"Yes please." Shego answers softly. The next thing I know, I'm sitting at a table that looks like it was taken right out of my middle school cafeteria. Shego sits across from me and the guards go to a post by the door. They're far enough to not hear us, but close enough to jump in and kick some butt if the need arises. Shego still has my hand in hers. She seems to be examining it now.
"Why in the world are you here, Princess?"
"To be honest, I still don't really know. I just felt like I haven't seen you in so long."
"You haven't. It's been three years." She didn't sound resentful or angry. That's kind of her thing. She doesn't even have angry anymore...
"I'm...I'm sorry." I finally spit something out, even if its not anything that I wanted to say.
"You don't have to be, Kimmy."
"It's just that..."
"I miss you too, Kim." I'm stunned momentarily from her statement. Not only did it seem like she had read my mind, she misses me? She even used my real name. I think she notices my confusion.
"There isn't a whole lot to do in here except think. I realized that you are something special, Kim."
"Special?" I know that I sound like a bumbling fool.
"Yes special, Kim. There are very few people who can hold their own against me. There is no one who has ever given me the rush that you have." She lets me go and sits back looking casually in my direction. There is silence for a few seconds. It seems a lot longer. I don't know what to say in response.
"You can talk to me, Kimmy. I'm not as abusive as I was. With Drakken out of the picture, I just don't have a whole lot to be all that upset over. I haven't seen my brother Hego in like, 2 years which is also a major stress relief." She grins at me as she seems almost majestic. I search my mind for something to say.
"What did you do to him?" I say softly and watch to see if she is going to kill me too.
"Are you asking if I killed him? I didn't kill him. Actually, I didn't kill anyone. I never liked killing people. Destruction, now that's a different thing. I knocked down a lot of stuff. I burned a bunch too. Theft for no real reason, I was just really pissed off, Princess." She sighs heavily and I can somehow feel her whole being stiffen up.
"I bet." I say softly. I reach for her hand and she takes my lead, thankfully. I stroke the backs of her hands with my thumbs and slowly feel her relax in my grip.
"Listen, I think I know why you're here and I have an inkling of what's going through your head, Kimmy. And it's best if you just let it go." I can feel my throat sinking in.
"I'm not rejecting you, I'm just trying to save you from this train wreck."
"What-what do you mean?" I can feel my whole body stutter. Shego's hand is now clutching mine firmly but comfortingly.
"You've been having some thoughts about me, right Cupcake?" She smiles softy and I feel my mouth drop open.
"Thought so. Kimmy, it's okay. Want to know a secret? I've thought about you quite a bit. It's all a little confusing, but I've come to terms with the fact that this isn't going anywhere." She is still smiling but I can see the sadness melt into her expression. I strengthen my grip on her hands.
"I...It's not futile! If you don't want me, just say so!" No, not the tears. This visit was not supposed to be like this. I was going to see her, it was all going to hit me that what I was feeling was insane and then I was going to leave. And now I'm crying. I'm crying over Shego.
I didn't even notice when she pulled her chair next to me. As she's holding me, I just want to run. It wasn't supposed to go like this. I'm getting flashes to my plans of breaking her out. I'm thinking of pushing her out the door right now. She is mine and I want her. I need her with me. This isn't going to go away. I'm not going to get over this. I'm stubborn. I want what I want.
"Kim. Pull it together, Pumpkin. I know you can." She's stroking my back and I can feel every single place that she touches me. It shoots up my spine and shocks my brain and I'm sure now that I can't leave this. Before I can stop myself, I'm staring into her eyes and clawing onto her shoulders.
"Come with me." She leans in and she looks beyond confused.
"No, I mean it. Come with me. Come home with me. Right now." I can feel the slime from my tears on my cheeks and it feels like its crawling all over my face. My eye is twitching slightly. My heart is pounding. My head is spinning in circles. I can't focus. I can barely see. I have tunnel vision centered on Shego's face.
I feel a breeze flow over me swiftly and I am embracing her. Or rather, she is embracing me. My head is not spinning anymore, but I feel my heart sink when I feel a drop on my bare shoulder.
"I know, Kimmy. I really do. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." The next sensation that I feel is that of every cell in my body exploding around me as if it were some fantastic fireworks display. When convince myself to open my eyes, there she is with her eyes closed and serene. I feel instantly cold as her lips leave mine.
It wasn't even a deep kiss, but now all can feel is the left over pinpricks from her. She still hasn't opened her eyes and I can feel her breath softly on my chin, waiting carefully for the moment to come back to the penitentiary gathering room. I watch in slow motion as her eyes open and her deep green eyes settle on me, half-lidded.
We don't have to say anything. I am affirmed in what I feel and I'm sure that she felt just as I did. I am sure when she takes me back into her arms that something needs to be done. I am Kim Possible. Anything is Possible.
I have no idea where this came from. I was messing with different styles of first person and this is what you get. I hope it works. Let me know. I don't own KP but I own what I write.