Merry sighed happily as he finished his poem. It would be absolutely perfect for her. He'd mentioned her glistening hair, her soft eyes and her beautiful voice. Everything a good poem needed. He hopped down from his stool and walked out of his room with an air of confidence. And he ran straight into Faramir.

"Hello Master Meriadoc. What's that?" Merry flushed and mumbled.

"What was that?" Faramir piped happily.

"It's a poem." He finally grumbled. Faramir leaned back and smiled.

"A poem? For whom?" Merry grumbled some more but finally managed to say:

"A poem for the Lady Eowyn." Faramir grinned deviously.

"Ah, I see. may I read it?" Merry sighed in an irritated manner but handed the poem over.

"Thank you." Faramir scanned over the poem for a few minutes. Merry shifted his weight from heel to heel.

"Can I have it back now? I'm meeting Eowyn in ten minutes down in the main hall." Faramir scratched the back of his head and winced a little.

"Um….you see, I fancy the Lady Eowyn as well, and I think I may want to give her this poem."

"But it's mine."

"But I've got it, and I'm taller." Merry scowled.

"Only by a foot."

"Yes, that's very close, maybe in a month you'll be up to my elbow." Faramir quipped and turned briskly on his heel towards the main hall.

"No!" Merry shouted and jumped on Faramir's back. Faramir quickly shook him up and held him by his collar.

"Now, Meriadoc, I don't want you getting in the way, so I'm going to have to put you somewhere where you won't get in the way. Nice try though." He searched all sorts of places, near shrubbery (all he found were some blokes who kept going 'Ni'), in bars, in closets, in bedrooms, in bathrooms, in trees, in wine cellars, in Aragorn's room, in his room, in Eowyn's room, in Pippin's room and finally he found a nice little abandoned house that didn't smell too bad and had a stable roof that didn't house insects and other rabid animals.

"But, but, my poem!" Merry stuttered.

"You're a bit dim. I'm taking your poem, and these flowers that you had hidden. Yes, I found them, wasn't too hard. I'm going to go up to Eowyn, and she'll fall in love with me and we'll wed and be very happy." Merry scowled and tried to snatch the poem from his hands, but to no avail. Faramir smiled warmly and shut the door, locking it from the outside.

"I hate you Faramir." Merry said in the dark little hut.

Faramir grinned with a blushing face as Eowyn read his poem and tucked the flowers under her arm.

"Oh, Faramir!" Eowyn cried and wrapped her arms around Faramir.

"This is the most wonderful poem I've ever read! It's so sincere! I love you Faramir!" She shrieked and kissed him. Everybody saw, and everybody stared and pointed and went 'Wooooooooooo!' They didn't care though. A million miles away mentally, Merry still sat in a dark cottage and grumbled as he heard people cry out at their public display of affection.

"I hate you so, so much Faramir." He mumbled again. Then he looked to his left. There was a window. An open window.

"I am thick." He said as he hopped out of the window and into the crowd.

As Faramir and Eowyn walked arm in arm back to their respected room, Merry came back and crept slowly behind them. Faramir glanced over his shoulder and kicked Merry square in the jaw though. Eowyn kissed him on the cheek and walked back to her room.

"Nice try, Meriadoc." Faramir said as he walked happily back to his room, leaving Merry on the floor groaning and aching.