A/N – I don't normally put forewords in my M-rated fics, preferring to let the rating speak for itself, but as this tale is a bit more heated than my usual fare, I wanted to give fair warning to the reader: This story contains references to acts of the sensual that, while legal between consenting adults, some might find controversial.

XXX

After some hesitation – she was just about to reach the most difficult part of what she wanted to say – Marian went on, "And what I discovered in Paris frightened me. I never realized just how far I was willing to go to assuage my passion, not just in public, but in private as well. In Paris, that wasn't an issue. But in River City, there are too many eyes watching a woman. Knowing that I couldn't love you the way I did in Paris, I tried to return to our staid but comfortable lovemaking. But – I don't want that, Harold." She swallowed nervously. "I know I've been doing a poor job of loving you since we returned home – "

Harold interrupted her. "Marian, you're doing the best you can," he said firmly. "I know that; I've always known that. Believe me when I say that I've felt like such an ingrate during the past few months, asking you for more than you were able to give."

XXX

Although she had always harbored a rather romantic sensibility beneath her practical, no-nonsense exterior, Marian Paroo Hill would never have guessed that, after thirteen years of marriage, she would feel such a giddy thrill of excitement in the pit of her stomach whenever she saw her husband approaching. But here it was, a warm July evening in 1925, and the librarian felt those delightful butterflies unsettling her insides when, after locking the library doors and giving the handles her final, routine tug, she turned to see Harold waiting for her at the foot of the stairs and grinning at her as merrily as he ever did when they met again after a brief absence.

Even as besotted as she had been with him in the beginning, Marian would have expected that as the years passed, their passionate intensity would mellow into a staid but pleasant camaraderie. But when she greeted her husband with just as bright a smile, his arm stole around her waist and he gave her a squeeze that, although discreet enough not to capture the attention of passerby, left the librarian in no doubt as to his intentions. Indeed, as they made their way to the charming Victorian, Harold informed her that when Penny and Elly begged to spend the night at the home of one of their schoolgirl chums, he happily gave them his blessing – and then proceeded to make arrangements for Mrs. Paroo to look after Robert.

Marian's stomach fluttered even more when she heard this news. Living in a house with two boisterous daughters and an infant son did not often afford opportunities for unbridled romance. Although husband and wife contrived to make arrangements for the girls to be away one evening a week, it wasn't often they entrusted Robert to others, as Marian felt he was too young to be without his parents for more than a few hours.

However, unlike his sisters, Robert was a mild, easygoing baby who obligingly slept through the night, so Harold and Marian's passion rarely suffered too much interruption. Indeed, Robert was a dream compared to Penny and Elly. For one, Marian's second pregnancy was not as physically taxing as her first; despite experiencing the usual nausea and complaints of the condition, carrying one baby was far less onerous than carrying two. This pregnancy was also easier in other ways, as well; after so many years of being together, the librarian and the music professor were secure in each other's regard in a way they hadn't been in earlier times, when their relationship was newer and they were still learning about each other. And even though they were careful to exercise caution and moderation in their lovemaking, there were no miscommunications arising from either spouse's noble stifling of longing; husband and wife enjoyed a fully passionate relationship well into Marian's eighth month.

And, as Dr. Pyne surmised, the labor – although just as painful as it had been with the twins – was much shorter. Perhaps it helped that this time around, Harold was present for the birth. He had wanted to be in the room with Marian, and she had insisted on having him by her side. When both Mrs. Paroo and Dr. Pyne balked at this, the librarian staunchly informed them that, after the fiasco with the twins, she wasn't about to go through another horrible experience of being alone and in pain and not knowing were her husband was – that half hour they were searching for him had been one of the longest and most agonizing half hours of her life.

Being nearly forty and having gone through pregnancy before, Marian had a lot more clout with her mother and doctor than she did as an inexperienced twenty-seven year old, so she ultimately got her way. And when the time came for her to give birth, neither Dr. Pyne nor Mrs. Paroo was averse to Harold staying with his wife, as his presence had a helpful calming effect on the librarian. Also, being allowed "on the front lines" enabled the professor to monitor the situation to his satisfaction, which in turn made him less nervous and frantic about the whole affair. At any rate, it was better than having him "linger in the parlor, irritatingly underfoot," as Mrs. Paroo phrased it.

When word got out about this unorthodox arrangement, Marian steeled herself for the inevitable scandalized reactions of her peers. Indeed, the ladies of the Events Committee did have their opinions about the subject. Whereas Mrs. Shinn and Mrs. Squires asserted they wouldn't have wanted their husbands anywhere near them while they were in such undignified states, Ethel Washburn, Maud Dunlop – and surprisingly, Alma Hix – averred they would have welcomed such an arrangement (provided, of course, that their husbands could be sent away during the more-embarrassing phases of labor and childbirth). Mrs. Grubb, who never had any children, also fell in the latter camp; she found the idea of a husband lending comfort to his wife during such trying times romantic. However, although this matter provoked vigorous discussion, no one was terribly fazed by Marian's choice, and seemed to take it as a matter of course that the librarian and the music professor would do something like this. Apparently, after so many years, the townspeople were used to them engaging in the unusual and unexpected.

But, Marian reflected as she and Harold rounded the corner to East Pine and his grip around her waist tightened even more, they hadn't entirely lost their ability to shock. If the River City-ziens knew some of the things that had happened in Paris, for instance… things that still made her blush to recall.

Even now, Marian occasionally played the "blushing rose" card with her husband. Well aware of Harold's amorous nature, she had used it as a shield of sorts during the beginning of their marriage, when she was hesitant or nervous about engaging in lovemaking; she was initially worried Harold would overwhelm her with his carnal inclinations. Although he soon demonstrated just how gentle and careful he could be – she felt extremely blessed to have such a patient, loving husband who recognized her struggles and treated her with the utmost tenderness – it was still a challenging adjustment for her to transfer from a resisting to a yielding mindset. She eventually blossomed into a wife who made love to her husband as confidently and happily as he made love to her, but it had taken her several years to become truly comfortable with her desires. And even after they had enjoyed a renewal of their passion both in Paris and River City, there was still the rare occasion when Marian struggled to keep up with her amorous husband.

Now that she was fully recovered from childbirth, Harold had let himself go with her again, and she with him. However, during the past few weeks, he had begun to make subtle overtures she didn't particularly care for at all. While Marian wasn't pleased by this turn of events, she wasn't surprised – not after what happened in Paris. While they hadn't done anything as outrageous or immoral as inviting additional parties into their boudoir, they had made love in a way Marian could never have fathomed was possible. And to her amazement, she had enjoyed this expansion of their repertoire as much as Harold did. At least – she had enjoyed it up to a certain point. The prelude was alluring and intriguing enough to make her yearn for more, but when they actually engaged in the act, it was a lot less pleasurable than she had been anticipating. Certainly, it wasn't a type of lovemaking Marian wanted to repeat in the future – although Harold clearly got an erotic charge out of it. Fortunately, he never attempted to initiate another such tryst; their honeymoon trip came to a close soon after that evening and they returned home, where he never dared to ask her for too much of anything over the next several months.

However, since Harold had resumed intimacy with her after Robert's birth, he had been inching toward engaging in that act again. And even though this was something Marian didn't want to pursue, she wasn't sure how she should handle the situation. The librarian was more than capable of taking her husband down a peg or two when he required it, but this was a man she had never said "no" to – at least, not when it came to lovemaking. Even if Marian hadn't surrendered easily to the beguiling music professor's charms, she had still surrendered. And despite her initial hesitancy, she had eventually welcomed each new pleasure Harold introduced to her. Although their latest foray into the unusual proved a bit of a letdown, it hadn't been a complete disappointment; Harold was as gentle and attentive a lover as he ever was when they engaged in other kinds of lovemaking.

When Harold closed and locked their front door and took her in his arms, Marian put these thoughts out of her head. Perhaps he wouldn't make another attempt. Her husband was a perceptive man; surely he had recognized her reticence. Perhaps she was worrying for nothing…

Once Harold captured her mouth in an ardent kiss and gave her the skillful caresses that always made her melt, it was difficult to worry – or even think. Tonight he was firmly and unequivocally taking the lead; Marian was perfectly content to let him sweep her into his arms, carry her upstairs, remove her clothing and make furious, passionate love to her on their bed. They had a long night to look forward to, and she could always reciprocate later. For even after they had finished and lay spooning together, Harold was still hot for her, running his hands possessively over her curves and pressing urgently against her. Marian readily enjoyed and encouraged her husband's amorous attentions as his hands wandered from her breasts to her backside… until his fingers gently but shamelessly encroached upon an area he hadn't touched since Paris. Planning to ignore this silent inquiry just as she had the previous ones, the librarian reached into her own bag of tricks for a delightful diversion that would distract him from this path.

But before Marian could put her scheme into action, Harold leaned in and, with a soft whisper, asked her the same question he had that evening in Paris – the question she had been dreading for the last several weeks. Even more unsettling was the fact that the genuine, ardent desire in her husband's voice was underscored by his usual seductive confidence that she would give her assent. Clearly, he had not recognized her reticence at all – or he had taken it as a sly, flirtatious game.

Marian froze as the memories came rushing back – not just of that night in particular, but also the two nights that set the stage for it.