When I lived amongst my loved ones I too felt love pulse through my veins. I felt overwhelming affection for one in particular. He smelt of honey and his touch made fireworks explode on my skin. He stood in the same tier as jade would or rose, never stepping over that friend boundary in hopes of pursuit of a more fulfilling relationship. He kept his distance as I kept mine and we admired each other from there for the longest time until one evening he finally gave way to the magnetism of our chemistry. He confronted me with stuttering sentences and nervous explanation. I drank it up. Letting him get his words out, I waited for him to finish. He stared at me through shaded eyes with the patients of a 2 year old. "Well Egbert?" I looked at him for a moment before embracing him like I've so desperately wanted for so many years.
It's been years since that moment and we have had more magical memories. Our wedding, Cassie being adopted, every moment was beyond compare when it involved him. This one however was one of my fondest memories as the days went on. As I grew lonely in the house was bought together, or as I sat feeding the child we should be raising together. I don't cry often. I was stronger than that and I made a promise to him. There were enough tears shed the day he left. More tears next to the empty spot on our bed. I promised i would wait for him He promised he would write and be safe. He said he wouldn't be in the line of action. He told me words of comfort even as the war took him away from me and our baby. He wrote me every week than every month and now barely at all. I was angry at first and Cassie didn't understand any of it but I swallowed my anger and grief and concentrated on her. She became my world. She helped me get through the days. She became my sun in the darkness of grief and as we lived on we grew used to the way things were. Adapted to it.
I still wait from him even as the years pass and Cassie begins school. It's been 5 years and the war is finally coming to a close. I've grown complacent with the way things have been and when a familiar stranger walks through the door, I don't know how to react. He looks at me with a stoic look at first but breaks into a full on grin. "I'm home." I hadn't realized I'd been crying until he wiped a salty tear from my cheek. I hug him tightly and Cassie hides in the hall near the front entrance. She looks curiously at the figure but doesn't move any closer. I notice her and beacon her from her hiding spot. She hesitated at first but obliges. "Cassie this is your daddy. He has been gone a long time but he has come back. He is a big hero you know?" Cassie looks up with crystal eyes. "Daddy?" he kneels down. "Hello Cassie. Yes I'm your daddy. I've missed you so much sweetheart." she smiles softly before going into her daddy's arms exclaiming excitement as she did so.
The first days of his return were filled with laughter and joy but as time passed the bitterness in my heart didn't. We fought. Sometimes there was real good reason for it. Cassie hid in her room when things got to out of hand and she would cry herself to sleep. I tried my best to swallow my pride and bitterness for her sake but it would only come back in a storm of hatred and unforgiveness. One of our worst fights ended with me having a bruised cheek and Dave leaving for a few days. I felt my life falling to pieces all around me and I was hopeless to stop it. I almost resorted to drinking. The cool beverages seemed to take my problems away but when I got a call from rose, my ideas of fixing my problem changed. She gave me the comfort and advice of a saint and I began to see a new outlook.
Dave came back to the house and I was waiting for him. He flinched when he saw me and cowered away like a dog that had done wrong. I looked at him but not with a look of disgust but one of love. I opened my arms of him and he accepted them as if he had been lost in the desert and my arms were water that might save his life. He fell heavy in my arms like a stone.
Things calmed after that and we got into the step of things. School, work, eat, sleep: it all became routine and before we knew it, a year passed. I had put Cassie to bed and snuggled up to my love as the fire cracked with life. I watched the dazzling flames preform a dance and enjoy the presence of my only love. The light of the fire shifted across the liquid darkness as a hot spark cackled in the dead silence. I turned to Dave. Even in the dimness of the fire I could see the small frown forming on his freckled face. "What's wrong?" he jumped slightly and turned his head to me. Silence choked the air and I shifted slightly as the feeling became more or less unpleasant. "How could you have forgiven me?" He must have seen my confusion and continued. "I left you alone for so long. Alone to raise a child. Alone for so many years but you still stayed with me. You didn't even have an affair did you?" I was surprised. To be honest, the thought of having an affair never crossed my mind. Dave was my only love but yet I couldn't stop the questions that flooded my mind. Did Dave indulge in such things? Is that why he felt guilty or even why he didn't write as much? I expressed this to him and he went silent not answering me. I began to panic but I steadied my heart. "I love you Dave." he looked at me. "And if it didn't mean anything...if you stay with me and never leave...if..if you still love me too, I will not even acknowledge any past mistakes cause that's what they are ,the past. "He looked dumbfounded at me.
"I love you more than anything in this world." he whispered and I smiled softly kissing him. He broke it and turned back to the dancing flames. Moments passed and I began to drift. "How can you be so forgiving? I'm having a hard time forgiving myself let alone forgetting all the pain I've caused you. "I was silent for moment thinking."love." it was simple but it seemed to be enough. It was enough. Enough for both of us. "Thank you for waiting."
Authors note.
I thought this would be longer but meh. I really should stop writing so late into the night but thats when i get my ideas.
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