Title: No Matter Above or Below
Genre/type: (gen, slash, het, crossover, etc.) het-crossover
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Mentions of Caroline/Matt, Caroline/Damon, and Caroline/Sam
Rating: FR15, at most.
Warnings: (violence, sexual content, death, strong language, etc.) Violence, death, language, and some sexual stuff (but not graphic)
Dedication: To the lovely Aoife, for the beta. And to Marina, for helping me talk it out. You guys put up with a lot to help me get this done, and the fact that it actually got finished is a tribute to your awesomeness.
Summary: (1-3 paragraphs)
Caroline Forbes is just past seventeen when her life ends.
Five years after Founders' Day, Caroline's got herself a brand new life-new house, new dog, and new hangups. Her uncle has died, her friends are scattered, and she's been betrayed by her boyfriend yet again (always a betrayal-but the act itself is always different). She's carved out a life for herself, one that includes her dog, research, and hardly ever leaving the house. Dean says it's not healthy, but Dean's an ass and who cares what he thinks, right?
Sure, things aren't perfect. She's haunted by the memories of her past, can't shake the sadness over having another loved one die, and now her ex-best-friend invades her dreams every night and makes it impossible for Caroline to get any rest. Elena's all doom-and-gloom in the dreams, but Caroline figures she doesn't really have to listen. They are just figments of her imagination, no matter the dread and the intensity of Elena's pleas. Everything will be all right if she just ignores it, but now Sam and Cas are breaking into her house every other day to tell her she can't ignore it anymore. The dreams are starting to bleed into her waking world and Caroline's amazed she's still got a shred of sanity left in her. Elena's begging for help, and Caroline starts to feel like maybe she should help, but she can't.
She can't go back to Mystic Falls, can't even think of it. He's still there, she thinks he will always be there, and she can't handle seeing him ever again.
Damon Salvatore has always been her breaking point . . .
~0~
The Grill is unchanged these past five years.
The decor is the same (dark tones, modern look, bar scene battling a restaurant atmosphere). Even the people are the same. The bartender has not changed since she was last here, and she still doesn't have a clue as to the older woman's name. Matt's mom was supposed to pick up that job when Ben McKittrick bailed, but she never did. So the twenty-something redhead with the goth-rocker vibe picked up the job.
"It's good to see you."
Elena's voice is warm and her face is earnest. Her whole being pulsates with sincerity. Caroline knows that Elena is indeed glad to see her. But Caroline is not so glad to see her.
"Are we really going to do this again?" she asks Elena, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Blue eyes scan the area around them, on the lookout for anyone else she knew. There are a lot of people in the restaurant at the moment, but none of them she recognizes. She utters a sigh of relief.
"Caroline, please," Elena's eyes water instantly. Caroline huffs and stares determinedly down at the table top. She refuses to give in to the tears. It's too late for that.
"Elena, really, what is the point?" Caroline gives her former best friend a hard look. "We've been over this before. Nothing has changed. I don't have it in me."
Elena is quiet for a moment, hands twisting in her lap. A few tears escape this time before Elena draws in a deep breath and tries again. "It's not about us anymore, Caroline. It has gotten bigger-and they need you here. Please Caroline, this isn't what your mom would have-"
"Do not mention my mother, Elena," Caroline's voice comes through like tiny shards of glass. The anger is still strong, even after all these years. "And who are these 'they' that need me so much? Who? Bonnie? Stefan? Or maybe your best buddy Damon?"
"Carol-"
"Or, perhaps it's your Uncle. How is John?"
His name is the breaking point. Elena's mouth snaps shut and her eyes droop with untold sadness. There is guilt on that beautiful face, guilt and heartbreak. Caroline almost regrets putting it there. But she has been through too much to give way to regret.
For ten minutes Elena is silent and moping. Waitresses rush by in a flurry of activity, the murmur of other's conversations rises and falls in pitch as topics are discussed, argued, and then dropped. Someone drops something from the back of the room and then a busboy is scurrying over with a broom and a dustpan. It is all so ordinary and familiar.
"You never used to be this cold," Elena is the picture of perfect contrition. "I know I had my part to play in it, but this isn't you Caroline. You had so much life to you. But now, it's like you're barely there at all. And I know you don't want to hear it, but your mother wouldn't have wanted this for you. She loved you, we all loved you-and I'm sorry that it wasn't enough to chase back the darkness."
"Elena, we're going in circles," Caroline's determined to not show any emotion. But if Elena kept on like this, she would fail to keep herself in check. "I'm getting sick of all this."
Elena looks at Caroline with pity and compassion. The pity is better; Caroline can get angry with that. But the compassion is troubling. Elena has known her too long; she could see through almost all of Caroline's masks. And Caroline is not in the mood for unmasking.
"I'm leaving," Caroline tells her primly, gathering some of her old attitude for the delivery. "You shouldn't come back."
"You can't outrun it, Caroline," Elena ignores her declaration but softens the blow with a smile. "Destiny isn't something that you can outrun. You can delay it, to the peril of others, but you can't outrun it."
This argument is familiar too, but for an entirely different set of reasons. Caroline stubbornly sets her jaw. "I believe in free will."
"And I believe that deep down, you're still a Forbes," Elena shakes her head. "That's a part of you, Caroline. It always has been and it always will be. Your uncle told you as much."
"Enough!" The anger is too hot to control. "Just go!"
Elena smiles once more, but this time the smile has more humour than pity. "This is my town, Caroline," she reminds her.
Caroline narrows her eyes. "But this is my dream, Elena."
~0~
The sun is shining through the curtains, casting strange shadows across her bed. Caroline rouses feeling less rested than she should. A quick glance at the clock shows her it is seven in the morning. That makes for about six hours, give or take. More than she usually gets. And yet, she feels as tired as ever.
She blames the dreams, and Elena. She isn't sure what's wrong with her. She's been dreaming of Elena for the past six months, almost every single night. The dreams are always the same. Elena comes, they argue, and then she wakes up. Dream-Elena wants something from her, and Caroline can't quite remember what that is by the time she wakes. But whatever it is, Caroline is not feeling generous enough towards to her former friend to consider it. Be it real-Elena or dream-Elena, Caroline has nothing to offer but anger.
Caroline pushes down the covers, ignoring the disgruntled sounds coming from Rumsfeld. The big dog opens one eye and seemingly glares at her. This brings a small, but genuine smile to her face. Caroline blows the old mutt a kiss and then gets out of bed. The air hits her bare legs and she shivers, pausing to grab her robe before going to the door. She steps out into the hallway, shrugging the flannel bathrobe over her t-shirt and shorts. She makes for the stairs, Rumsfeld at her heels, having hauled his body from the warm bed. She smiles at his fealty, dropping one hand to give him a loving scratch behind the ears.
They amble into the kitchen, Caroline pausing in the front hall to glance into the library. She had gone to sleep without putting away her research materials and the place is messy enough to cause her guilt. Uncle Bobby would have yelled for hours if he saw the state of the library.
Rumsfeld runs ahead of her, taking his customary spot in front of his feeding dish. Caroline grabs the phone with one hand and opens a cupboard with the other. As she pulls out Rumsfeld's food she changes the ringer setting, switching it off silent mode. She dumps a generous portion into his dish, scooping up his water bowl to fill it. She sets down the phone, noticing the blinking light on the answering machine as she passes. She presses the button, moving onto the sink while the machine runs through its routine.
First message: "Caroline? It's Dean. Listen, I know you're busy but call me."
Caroline pauses momentarily, the voice on the machine stirring a whirlwind of emotions in her belly. But the moment passes and she goes back to filling up Rumsfeld's bowl.
Second message: "Caroline? Seriously, call me back."
She places Rumsfeld's bowl on the ground and gives the dog a kiss on the top of his head. Rumsfeld, dish full and water at the ready, is the happiest he can be. Caroline moves away from his corner and heads for the coffee maker.
Third message: "Caroline? I get it, okay? You're mad. I understand. But I'm sorry and I'm trying to make it right. You have to talk to me. What you're doing-just call me."
The coffee is percolating and she moves onto the pantry, looking for a suitable breakfast. She passes over old boxes of stale cereal (she should really throw those out) and pulls out a breakfast bar. She tears open the wrapping, eyes on the answering machine as it winds its way to the next message.
Fourth message: "Damn it, Caroline! I'm sorry! How many times do I have to say it? I get that you're mad, but it's time to deal with it. I am so sick of all this passive-aggressive bullshit! Bobby would kick your ass if he knew how you were acting! I'm halfway there myself. Call me!"
Dean's voice is laced with certain menace. She knows he is at the point where he will jump in his car and drive over here, just to kick her ass. The thought amuses her, and chills her. She is not ready for that, not yet.
Caroline takes a bite of her breakfast and goes to pour herself some coffee.
~0~
Caroline Forbes is four-years old and a vision of pink princess bliss. Her dress may be cotton, but it has lace and ribbons and bows. Her stockings are pristine white, encasing little legs still chubby with baby fat. Her sandals are pearly pink with shiny silver buckles that gleam in the sunlight. Her blonde hair is curly, hitting her shoulders and held back from her face by a pink plastic headband. She is the picture of cute; the definition of adorable.
She is also kind of scared because her Mommy was fighting with Uncle Bobby again.
Uncle Bobby doesn't live in Mystic Falls like Caroline does. He lives farther away, in a place Mommy called Sue Falls or something. Caroline does know that Uncle Bobby lives in a house with a really big yard that's full of cars. Uncle Bobby's house is old and kind of dirty looking-on the outside. Inside it's nice and warm, and there's this really big library that Caroline loves to walk around. Sure the books Uncle Bobby has aren't that nice, and some of them have really weird pictures in them, but the library is nice. There's this couch that is so soft and bouncy that Caroline never hesitates to go running for it. Uncle Bobby never stops her either, even when Mommy starts saying that Caroline should behave herself. The only thing Uncle Bobby doesn't let her do in the library is read his books. That's fine with her; Caroline hasn't learnt to read properly yet, so she couldn't read them if she wanted to. For her, Uncle Bobby's library was more of a playground than a library.
But the library is why Mommy and Uncle Bobby are fighting.
"It isn't healthy Bobby. And it isn't what she would have wanted-"
"I'm a grown man, Elizabeth. I can make my own goddamn decisions."
Uncle Bobby uses a lot of naughty words that Caroline isn't supposed to hear. Mommy gives him a troubled look and then looks at her. Uncle Bobby turns to look at her too and Caroline gives him her best smile. He gives her a smile too, but it's much smaller than hers. Uncle Bobby never smiles too big. Mommy says it's because he misses Aunt Karen so much that he can't smile too big. Caroline thinks that's the saddest thing she's ever heard in her whole four-year-old life.
"You're obsessed Bobby. And hanging out with these people, especially that John fellow, it's not doing you any favours. And this library? Look at all these books. They are not the books of a normal person."
"I think normal sailed off the day Karen died. And don't you criticize me about how I live my life. We might have avoided all this if you had shared more from the start."
Mommy looks really mad. She looks at Caroline again and then steps really close to Uncle Bobby. "Karen made that choice. And it isn't the same thing. This stuff, that thing that got her, we've never dealt with that before. And I'm sorry that you feel betrayed, but Karen wanted to keep you away from it. She wanted a whole life away from it. That's why you two moved so far away to begin with."
"And then we lived happily ever after. Oh wait . . ."
"Bobby, I'm not kidding about this. I won't watch you do this to yourself, I won't let you drag my family into it with you."
"I never asked you or your family to interfere. You feel so strongly about it, there's the door. But don't you ever think to order me around, Elizabeth. I'm not one of your Council members."
Mommy is so angry that her face is red now. She doesn't even say goodbye to Uncle Bobby, just tells Caroline to put on her coat so they can leave. Caroline is wide-eyed and frightened because even though she doesn't know what they were fighting about, she knows that it was very bad.
"Goodbye Uncle Bobby." This goodbye is whispered down at Uncle Bobby's feet. He kneels down in front of her and Caroline feels the edge of his hat bump the top of her head. Uncle Bobby is serious-looking with a big bushy beard, but Caroline likes that about him. Her Daddy used to have a beard but now he walks around with something called Goat's Tea on his face. It's not a real beard and Caroline thinks it looks funny.
"Goodbye darling." Uncle Bobby pulls on a strand of her hair and she gives him a funny look for it. But then Mommy calls her again and she gives him a quick hug and a kiss. She likes Uncle Bobby, even though he and Mommy always fight. She likes him a lot and she likes visiting his house. But that year is the last time Mommy takes her there.
Caroline Forbes is four-years-old when she learns family is conditional.
~0~