A/N: Thank you for clicking on my story!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Frozen, obviously.
This is a direct sequel to 'Changing Family Tides'. It's now about 8 months or so after the movie, or late March. You don't HAVE to go read any of my previous stories, but there will be "spoilers" from them. Also, if you're a new reader, feel free to PM me questions or ask them in a review.:)
On to the story!:)
Anna smiled as she peeked in her older sister's room. Elsa lay fast asleep curled up on her side with one arm tossed protectively around her adopted daughter, five-year-old Anikka. Elsa's black and white kitten Kolfinnia was curled up at her feet. "Come on, you guys, let's just leave Elsa alone. She's prob'ly all worn out from that whole surprise thing she planned for everyone." Anna had loved Elsa's surprise; she and their entire family plus a couple friends had taken a trip to the ice palace. And Elsa was actually happy and confident for once.
A series of different bad incidents had left Elsa often upset and unsure of herself, which Anna hated, especially since she had been part of the reason why Elsa was hurt. Rapunzel had long since healed Elsa's physical injuries, all except Elsa's weak leg, which meant Elsa had to wear a brace to be able to walk. Rapunzel's healing magic only applied to injuries caused by natural means, not by magic. But Rapunzel had not been able to heal Elsa inside. Anna didn't mind her sister's damaged mind and heart-she would always take care of Elsa no matter what-but she just wanted Elsa to be truly happy again. To actually have real confidence in herself and her abilities.
"I still feel rotten for what I did to her, even if it was Jade's fault and not really mine," Anna muttered to herself as she eased Elsa's door shut silently. Elsa told me it wasn't my fault. I even remember exactly what she said the day after Papa rescued us from that cave. Anna had been poisoned with fire magic that caused her to literally turn against Elsa, and she'd ended up shooting Elsa with an arrow in her shoulder, on top of saying some really mean things to her. Elsa said, 'That wasn't you. That was Jade's fire power crystal she used to hit you in the heart.' And she said she wouldn't ever be scared of me when she was clearheaded and awake, but she might be if she had a nightmare or was otherwise really, really upset or scared.
Elsa jerked awake in the middle of the night when she felt something shaking her. Instantly she bolted upright in bed, her blue eyes darting nervously from side to side. "What's going on?!" Elsa, calm down. You're safe at home. Anikka probably was trying to shake you awake.
"I gotta go potty," Anikka informed Elsa.
Elsa tried not to sigh. "Anikka, I know you can do that by yourself. You're five, not three. You can use my bathroom, of course," she assured the child. Anikka, please don't ask me to come with you. I'm so tired and I'll have to put that brace on and then take it right back off again.
Elsa's silent wish went unheard. "I not like th' dark. Scary," Anikka whimpered. "Elsa come so I not be scared." Anikka suddenly remembered Elsa's bad leg and added, "It ok. Elsa stay in bed. I go by myself. Elsa not walk good." She hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom as Elsa lit the kerosene lamp on the nightstand.
"Anikka, you had better call me if you need help for whatever reason, okay?" Elsa called, feeling half relieved and half guilty that Anikka had decided to just face her slight fear of the dark and go by herself. I should get up and at least just stand outside the bathroom door for her. With that thought, Elsa quickly strapped her brace on her leg and headed over to the bathroom. "I'm right out here, Anikka," she reassured the little girl.
"Ok," the little girl called back.
A minute later, Anikka opened the door, informed Elsa that she liked the smell of the soap in the bathroom, and then just crawled back under the covers. "Elsa did…not need t' get up. I know Elsa sleepy," she added. "Timothy trusted you," Anikka said abruptly. Then she scooted closer to Elsa and immediately fell back asleep.
Elsa just smiled a bit as she gently put her arm around Anikka. Why did Anikka tell me that all of a sudden? She hasn't talked about Timothy in a while… Timothy was Anikka's older brother who had died in a fire. Anikka must have sensed you don't trust yourself somehow, Elsa. "Thank you, Anikka," she whispered.
Although she was tired, Elsa still awoke early the next morning. Making sure not to disturb Anikka, she quickly got dressed and rebraided her hair; then abruptly jumped when she heard a faint knock on her door. She limped over to the door, avoiding the few boards that she knew creaked, and peeked out into the hall. "Gerda, Anikka's still sleeping, she whispered. "I just woke up myself."
"Miss Elsa, that's why I knocked so quietly. I figured if you were still asleep, you just wouldn't answer. I thought perhaps you would like a snack and go ahead and work on your therapy for today. If you don't want to, that's perfectly fine," Gerda finished, wanting to make sure she let Elsa know it was her own choice, not anyone else's.
Elsa immediately opened her door fully and let Gerda in. "Okay. Could you help me in here so I don't have to leave Anikka alone? I don't think she'll wake up unless we're really noisy." She pointed at each creaky board as Gerda followed her inside. "That one creaks…and that one…and that one," she pointed out. What if this doesn't work? I'll have wasted Gerda's time and gotten myself all hopeful for nothing. "Gerda…what if this turns out to be a waste of time?" Elsa asked, her pale face scrunching up in disappointment at that prospect,
"Then we will at least know that it was a waste of time, and you will still just be our beautiful and perfectly competent Queen Elsa," Gerda told her gently but firmly. She guided Elsa over to her desk chair and told her to please sit down.
Elsa willingly obeyed and just looked to Gerda, wondering what she was supposed to do next.
"Miss Elsa, at the moment our goal is to get your left leg so it works as well as your right one. So right now you are going to show me how well you move your good leg, okay? But first take that brace off so you'll be more comfortable." Gerda gave Elsa a reassuring smile, but the girl didn't smile back. She looked nervous. Elsa, please don't beat yourself up the first day. Please.
Elsa was more than happy to take her brace off; she knew she was in a safe environment and she didn't want to look at it right now, either. Then she easily followed Gerda's instructions to move her good leg about as an example. Elsa tilted her head to one side curiously as Gerda helped her sit down on the floor with her legs stretched in front of her. "Gerda, I haven't tried to do that since I was really little," she protested. "Just because I could do it then doesn't mean I can do it now!"
"Just try to touch your toes, Miss Elsa. I don't care if you can't; that's not the point. We just want to know exactly where we're starting from, that's all," Gerda explained. She frowned as Elsa almost immediately yelped in pain, but then let her bad leg bend aside and easily reached her good foot with no trouble at all.
"I feel like I could prob'ly put my right foot behind my head fairly easily if I wanted to," Elsa said in puzzlement. "But my left leg hurts too much to stretch it like that…it's all stiff. How are we going to fix that?" I didn't expect this to be easy, but I didn't expect there to be such a huge discrepancy like that. That's disappointing. She awkwardly half-crawled, half-dragged herself over onto the carpet where Gerda told her to go. Gerda doesn't seem disappointed, she thought hopefully.
Gerda helped Elsa lay flat on her tummy and then told her to try to touch her toes to her head. "And before you say you can't, I'll tell you it doesn't matter. We are not trying to teach you how to be a circus contortionist performer or something."
Elsa easily touched her right foot to her head, but she simply couldn't move her left one on her own enough to even find out. "Gerda, I…I can't get the other one to move," she admitted hesitantly. She nodded in agreement when Gerda offered to help her. "Okay." Elsa bit her lip, determined not to yelp again. "My knee hurts, Gerda," she said finally. Elsa smiled as she turned over and sat back up. "I could feel my toes brushing my hair. That means it's almost as flexible as my good one bending in that direction," she announced.
"It also means whatever damage still remains, it's most likely not in your back, Miss Elsa. What I don't understand is why you're still a bendy pretzel without even trying for years. Unless of course that was something you practiced by yourself…before," Gerda replied. "Miss Elsa, I think this proves something else. You cannot wear that brace twenty-four hours a day. Ever. You are going to have to get over your fear and take it off a lot more often than you do. Perhaps cut it down to twelve hours each day. A good portion of that time can be at night when you're sleeping. You're decreasing flexibility and range of motion by forcing it to stay in one position all the time. I've been suspicious of that happening eventually, but I didn't say anything because I knew you were hurt before and you couldn't deal with it then. But you're better now, Miss Elsa." Gerda hugged Elsa tightly when the girl scooted closer to her. "And please don't start blaming yourself. You didn't know, and I know what happened with Jade and everything else hurt you badly. And all that was right after you had been seriously ill. That was a string of nasty things happening one right after the other."
Elsa just scowled at her bad leg and then scratched at a bite on her arm. A look of confusion suddenly flitted across her face as she realized just what she had done. "Gerda…mosquitoes usually come out later in the spring…don't they?" she asked slowly.
"Yes, why?" Gerda asked; then frowned as she realized why Elsa had asked her question. Without asking, she quickly pushed Elsa's sleeve up and looked closely at Elsa's arm where she had been scratching. "That looks like a spider bite, Miss Elsa. Do you feel dizzy or nauseous or anything else strange?" Elsa shook her head and Gerda instantly sighed in relief. "You're most likely fine, but you have to tell someone if you start feeling sick or something. I imagine something bit you when you went out and bought everyone's gifts that you handed out at the ice palace."
"I didn't even notice it 'til just now." Elsa looked up when she heard something thump lightly on the floor. "Good morning, Anikka."
Anikka happily plopped on the floor next to Elsa. "Gerda, teach Elsa how t' walk?" she asked hopefully. "So Elsa not need brace any-more?"
Gerda excused herself from Elsa and took Anikka aside for a moment. "Anikka, do you understand the idea of something personal you don't really want to talk about?" she asked quietly. The little girl nodded, so Gerda went on, "Well, Elsa's leg and her brace are 'something personal' she doesn't really want to talk about. Anikka, Elsa might always need her brace. We don't know yet."
"Why? You helping Elsa," Anikka replied. "Elsa has magic."
Gerda sighed. "Anikka, Elsa's leg is badly hurt. Just please leave her alone about it."
Elsa's sharp ears had picked up nearly every word Gerda and Anikka had said, and her blue eyes welled with tears as she stared at her bad leg. "Gerda…it…it's okay. Just let Anikka come over here for a moment," she said softly. The second Anikka had flopped onto the carpet next to her, Elsa shakily pointed at her bad leg. "Anikka, see how it...looks funny compared to the other one? The muscles are all messed up. Gerda has to try to teach me how to strengthen my leg before I can ever even try walking by myself." Elsa never really paid that much attention to the way her leg looked when she wasn't wearing her brace, at least not recently. Realizing that all the months of not being able to use her leg properly had made it look physically smaller than the other one scared her. How could she and Gerda fix that? No wonder she couldn't move her leg very well at all. She probably wasn't strong enough to do so. That explains why I thought I'd fixed all the damaged nerves with my magic and I still couldn't move it properly. I probably did fix all the nerves.
Anikka hesitantly touched the older girl's leg and then simply smiled at her and gave her a hug. "Still Elsa. I not care if Elsa always need her brace," she announced. Anikka scrambled to her feet and looked very seriously at Elsa. "I leave. I find Kiara. Then Elsa have pi-va-cy."
"Privacy," Elsa corrected, but she was smiling. "Thank you, Anikka."
Down the hall in her room, Anna had woken up, but couldn't be bothered to actually get out of bed. She took the old diary Elsa had given her out from under her pillow and opened it to the first entry. This one was dated January 1, from when Elsa was eight. 'Mama and Papa gave me this diary for Christmas. They said I am old enough to write in a journal now. Does that mean I'm a big girl now? They always either treat me like a grown-up or a baby. I'm 8! I think it ought to be somwhere somewhere in between. (Somewhere is a compound word.) I have to stop writing because Anna is trying to jump on me to make me give her a piggyback ride. I love Anna but she's a great big pest sometimes. Right now she's making me want to smack her. But that's mean. I think I'll tickle her instead or dump snow down her back. Or better yet freeze her bed. –Princess Elsa'
Anna giggled at that but then made a face. Pre-accident little Elsa outright admitted that sometimes she felt like smacking Anna. That she planned to tickle Anna and purposely dump snow down her back or freeze her bed. She actually sounded like a normal, happy little girl. (Well, except for the comment about somewhere being a compound word. Anna did not understand why any eight-year-old would care about that.) But besides that, Elsa's writing sounded like an average little girl's should. Knowing that the last entry sounded much older and very, very depressing besides and that it had been written only a little over a year later made Anna both angry and upset. Part of her didn't even want to read little Elsa's diary anymore. No, Elsa gave it to me to read. And I want to read it. It's Elsa's and Elsa hates talking about when she was little. She went on to the next entry, this one dated the very next day after the first one.
'It snowed overnight! I'm so happy and excited. Papa doesn't mind my magic so much when there's natural snow outside, for one thing. But the best part is I get to play outside with Anna. Anna told me she wants to jump off the roof into the snow. I said only if it's really, really powdery and deep AND I go first to make sure it's safe AND no grown-ups are watching. I don't think I like writing much. I like drawing lines and shapes and stuff better. During lessons I drew a square optical ilusion with a bunch of squares around each other from a teeny one to a big one. I was supposed to be writing a paragraph though so I got in trouble. –Princess Elsa' P.S. It's 'illusion', not 'ilusion'. Anna grinned, thinking it was funny that her usually proper big sister had gotten in trouble for drawing optical illusions, of all things, when she was supposed to be working on a paragraph.
The next few entries were written every two to three days. Two were only carefully drawn, very detailed snowflakes with a short written bit that just said, 'I think snowflake patterns are so pretty'. Anna noted that neither was her sister's signature pattern. Little Elsa wrote nothing for weeks; then came back with more detailed drawings, this time simply geometric shapes. Then another actual writing entry from March, 'We just got back from camping for the first time since winter ended. I wanted to go swimming, but Papa wouldn't let us because it was too cold. I kind of sort of made a really pretty dress made of ice and he got mad at me for that, too. But it was all twirly and sparkly and it made me happy. I walked on the pool (on ice) where we usually go swimming and Anna ended up falling in and I got in big trouble. I ran off by myself for awhile and Anna came too. We got lost, but Mama and Papa rescued us. I didn't need to run away. I have Anna and she loves me just like I am. I don't think Papa means to, but he hurts me a lot sometimes. I'm glad I have a little sister like Anna. –Princess Elsa' "I remember that!" Anna exclaimed. She decided to stop reading there and read more later, knowing that was probably one of the few remaining pre-accident entries.
Back in Elsa's room, Gerda gently but firmly instructed Elsa what to do for her leg from now on. "Miss Elsa, the brace stays off unless you absolutely need to put it on. I'm almost wondering if it would be better for you to use your powers to make those air currents more often or something. It worries me that it's so stiff and not just weak. But we'll figure it out," she assured Elsa.
"I can't walk without it, Gerda," Elsa replied quietly. "At all. My knee just collapses under me if I try to put any weight on it. You saw me. I almost twisted it the wrong way when I got frustrated…" Elsa, calm down. Gerda will help you figure out what to do and you know it.
"I know, Miss Elsa, I know," Gerda said quickly. "It's only the first day. We'll figure something out. For now, just wear it as little as possible. If you're working at your desk, take it off. If you're eating a meal at the table, take it off. If you're sitting in bed reading, take it off. Try to move it a little bit on your own each time. You can't expect yourself to be all better instantly anyways. All right?"
Elsa nodded and bit at one of her fingernails. "Okay." I can do that. I am not going to get all scared and upset over nothing anymore. She gave Gerda a lopsided smile as she added, "Thank you for just…helping me. It means a lot because I know you don't have to."
Gerda didn't remind the girl that yes, she did have to help Elsa. It was her job to help and protect the royal family in any way she could. Helping Elsa with her bad leg definitely fit that criteria. Besides, Elsa still somehow seemed like a daughter to her, probably because she had been the one adult Elsa had truly had there for her for all those years isolated in her room. She'd seen little eight-year-old Elsa cry all night the first night after the accident. She'd seen grown-up Elsa cry all too many times. And she'd seen Elsa's sweet smiles and laughter, too. "Miss Elsa, it is an honor for me to help you. Seeing you happy makes me happy, too," Gerda said finally.
"I still want to say thank-you. You could have left me alone for all that time, but you didn't. Even when I wanted to be by myself, you still let me know you were there for me. You've helped me every time I've been physically hurt somehow, too." Elsa smiled a bit, her blue eyes filled with mixed tears. "I love Mama very much, I really do, but…but you feel more like a real mommy to me," she whispered. That's the truth, and I know Mama would be really upset if she heard me say that, but…it's true. "Oh, and Gerda?" she went on, remembering her other plans she wanted to enact. "I'm going to find a way to help abused children in Arendelle. I already have a detailed plan for what I want to do, but I think I'm going to need help."
"Agdar, I want to do something special for Elsa and Anna before we move," Idun told Agdar. "Something both of them would like."
"Well, figure it out soon. We leave in two weeks for Weselton since Elsa ceded it to us," Agdar replied. "I need to talk with Elsa about exactly how she wants the relationship between Weselton and Arendelle to work, and what to do if the people there don't take kindly to us."
Idun smiled. "It's nice to hear you say you'll ask Elsa for advice instead of trying to tell her what to do." Her smile faded as she remembered something. "Agdar…our little girl constructed a beautiful, major work of architecture without even drawing anything up first. Neither Elsa nor Anna said when Elsa built that place, but I think I know when. She made her ice palace after running away from her coronation party. I know she did. Elsa was frightened and so she ran. She must have felt safe on the North Mountain somehow."
Agdar's expression contorted as if in pain. "Some venue of safety. We know those despicable thugs from the former duke attacked her there and Hans dropped that huge chandelier on the second floor on her. What I don't understand after seeing that palace for myself is why the heck didn't she freeze the doors shut? Or throw up an ice wall to keep them from coming inside in the first place? Why did they even have a chance to drop her own chandelier on her?"
"She was scared and she didn't want to hurt them, Agdar," Idun said quietly. "Elsa probably just wanted to be left alone. But no, they dragged her back to Arendelle and chained her in the dungeon. Just like we did twice."
"They attacked first with intent to kill. Elsa had full rights to defend herself with force," Agdar responded flatly. Wait…I remember Elsa drew something similar to the way her ice palace looks when she was sixteen. She had them fastened on her wall, and I fussed at her for using ice to hold them up. Did Elsa have dreams of building something like that for that long?!
"What are you thinking about?" Idun asked, noticing that her husband's expression had grown pensive.
"That ice palace wasn't thought of on a whim, Idun," Agdar replied, his voice carefully neutral but his expression saying something very different. "Elsa had dreams, something imaginary she had to rely on because I hurt her. She had detailed drawings that looked suspiciously similar to what her ice palace looks like fastened on her wall when she was sixteen."
Idun frowned at her husband and just stared at him. "Why on earth does it surprise you that the girl had dreams?! Of course she did! Everyone has them. It's just Elsa shouldn't have had to have a dream that she could just have a place where she could be herself without her own parents hurting her. But she's going to be all right. The fact that Elsa's ice palace exists in real life proves that," she said firmly.
A/N: Once again, if you're new to my Frozen story-verse, please, please, feel free to PM me questions and/or ask them in a review. I'll do my best to answer any questions about what's happened previously (like why Arendelle now controls Weselton; or why Elsa's leg is hurt and Rapunzel can't heal it, for examples), why certain characters are acting the way they are, or anything else. :)
Next chapter coming soon!