Chapter 1
A/N: This takes place in season 1 and 2 in the beginning.
Kensi walked in that morning with a weird feeling in her stomach. She didn't know why and she couldn't explain it but she just did.
They went the most of the day like normal. Checking out the crime scene, trying to put all the pieces together, and then Kensi went undercover. The man going by the name Jason Wyler was not Jason Wyler.
His real name was Martin Deeks. Kensi had a very long history. Kensi was hoping that once she'd gotten hired to NCIS, that her history would become just that; history. Kensi was so very unfortunately wrong.
"Hetty. Jason Wyler is not really Jason Wyler." Kensi said to Hetty after she got back to Ops.
"What do you mean, Miss Blye?"
"His real name is Martin Deeks."
"And how do you know that?"
"Him and I have... history."
"What type of history, my dear?"
"We dated for awhile. A long while. I just figured you should know."
"Would he have anything to do with the secret part of your life?"
"Does that matter, Hetty?" Kensi said, getting defensive.
"Is he the father?"
"Hetty, I really don't see how this matters. My personal life is just that; personal. I'm not willing to divulge that information."
"Ok, Miss Blye. If you ever do want to divulge, I'm always here."
"Ok, but for the record, I won't ever want to divulge it."
"Alright, Miss Blye."
Kensi was not willing to tell anyone who her daughter's father was. She didn't even want to know, herself. There was a time when Kensi was in love with Marty. She thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him. She thought they would get married and have a family together. But then she got pregnant. He split when she was a little over 5 months. Kensi was obviously distraught, but she got over it. She raised her daughter by herself, all while hoping she never had to worry about Marty again.
Kensi had loved that man with all her being. She gave him everything she had. And in return, he gave her only a piece of his everything. Kensi hated him. She hated him for lying and cheating and leaving. She hated him so much.
"Kensi, can we talk?" Deeks asked Kensi when they got a moment somewhat alone.
"You need to be going back undercover. Then when you're finished, you debrief us and go back to your life. I go back to mine. We never see each other again."
"How is our daughter, Kensi?"
"No, no she's not our daughter. She's my daughter. She's mine. You lost the right to call her your daughter the day you walked out on me."
"I am so sorry, Kensi."
"I don't want your apology. I don't want to hear how sorry you are. You cheated on me and lied about it, then when you finally told me the truth, you walked out on me. If you had just stayed, then maybe we would've worked things out. Maybe we could've stayed together. And if not, then we would've coparented our child. But you walked out on us, so our daughter became my daughter, and our future became my future."
"I was young and scared."
"And you think I wasn't. I was barely 20 and about to give birth to a baby. I was terrified. I didn't have a mother to teach me how to be a mother. I didn't know how to be a parent. But I thought I'd have you. I thought we would be able to figure out parenthood together. I guess I thought wrong."
"Kensi, please let me start over. Let me try again. I want to get to know her. I want to be in my daughter's life."
"You lost the chance to get to know her, the second you walked out on me."
"Please Kensi. I always hated how shitty of a father my dad was. I don't want to be like him. Please just give me a second chance."
"I don't want you to hurt her like you hurt me. If I let you be apart of her life, you have to promise you will never hurt her."
"I promise. I will never hurt her."
Kensi could see the genuine look in his eyes. He was really in emotional anguish.
"Ok. When you get out of this mission, we'll meet up again. Then you can meet her. It's up to her whether she wants to see you or not."
"Really?"
"Yes. Now, go. You need to back undercover."
"Ok." Deeks said as he walked away, with a smile on his face.