If You Walk Out
Disclaimer: Not mine...never will be, but I wish I owned DJE. The song "Walking After You" does not belong to me, it belongs to The Foo Fighters.
AN: Almost done re-editing (as best as I can) my old stories. I am currently working on a NEW one. Stay tuned. Sorry for any mistakes.
Mattie and Jen's Apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
It was a Monday like any other Monday of any other month or year. It was the first day of a long week of school, homework, and tests. Mattie sat at her desk with her head buried in a Trigonometry text book. Her head was throbbing from looking at so many different identities and symbols. She was a teenager in desperate need of a break.
"Uh, I hate math!" Mattie got up to stretch her body as she walked over to the radio. "Ah, this should help me relax for a bit." She popped in a CD and got sucked into the musical lyrics of a song. She sat on the couch for the duration of the song and just enjoyed the voice of the lead singer, somehow put in a trance by his soothing tone.
"Mattie! Would you turn it down a bit?" Harm walked over to the stereo and lowered the volume.
"Hey, I didn't know you had come in. You didn't knock." She gave him a dirty look just to pull his leg.
"I did...you just couldn't hear me over that loud music you listen to."
"Whatever. So what's up? You look depressed." She sat up and made room for him on the couch.
"That bad, huh?" He paused. "I just had a rough day at work. Things with Mac are a little weird and it sucked the life out of me today. Plus the fact that it's Monday doesn't help much either." He sighed heavily and slumped.
"Exactly what I'm saying. Teachers give you homework on Monday...why? I mean don't they know that Monday is a very difficult day for the mind and the body?"
Harm rolled his eyes. "Because Matilda, homework is practice."
"For what exactly? I just don't see the point. Isn't class the practice?"
"Ha-ha. No, the more homework you have the more knowledge you gain from the class."
"That's what a typical adult would say. You don't understand the viewpoint of a teen."
"And that's what a typical teen would say." He tapped her head with his cover.
"Well, I guess it wasn't a typical day at work?" She studied him hoping to get some information out of him.
"Remember I told you that we had found Mac's boyfriend, Clayton Webb?"
"Yeah, you said she broke it off. You should have seen the look in your eye when you mentioned it." She grinned.
"Yeah, well...it's not that simple anymore."
"Why?" She carried out the question.
"Because Mac forgave him and went back to him." He fiddled with his cover as his face sported a defeated look.
"What? That's not right. Why would she do that? Even after all that happened? Is she insane?"
"Whoa, Mattie, power down. She obviously isn't insane...she just loves him a lot."
"Or just feels she owes him for everything he did for her in Paraguay. I know how we think, Harm. She doesn't love him."
"How would you know? You're only fifteen. You've never even met Clay."
"Harm, I'm a woman. I know these things." Harm rolled his eyes at her again.
"You're a teenager."
"That's not the point. She loves you not him."
"Matilda..." Mattie started to chuckle. "What's so funny?"
"This. You need some inspiration. I was just listening to a song where this girl walks out and the guy wants to go after her. You should listen to it maybe you'll learn something."
"I'm not in the mood for music Mattie, sorry." He started to get up off the couch.
"You can borrow the CD. Song number three...that's the one."
"Mattie..."
"Just take it." She pushed the CD into his hand.
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
He sat in the darkness of his apartment and pondered the events of the last few days. Why was everything so screwed up? First Clay "dies", then Mac gets information of him being alive, and then she forgives him and runs back to him. Something was seriously wrong. Lately it seemed that since Paraguay everything and everyone was out to get him. No matter what he did somehow he always ended up on the losing end of the battle.
That night on the porch when he told Mac he would always be there for her, he thought they had finally regained some of their friendship. He was determined to help her get past the incident with Clay and her physical condition, but somehow his plans vanished into thin air the moment Mac found out Clay was alive. It was as if seeing him again somehow made Harm invisible. Why?
He soon realized that so many questions only turned into more questions to which he had no answers and finally gave up. He relaxed on his couch...as much as his mind would let him anyways...and then thought about the CD Mattie had given him.
"It can't hurt." He thought to himself as he walked to his desk to retrieve the CD.
He set it on number three and went back to the couch. It wasn't until he listened to the lyrics and the relaxing tone that he allowed his mind to stand at ease. He relaxed and closed his eyes as he listened to the song that seemed somehow impossible to enact. How could someone walk after the one that walks away? Is it even possible?
"It must be. The Foo Fighters certainly think so." He chuckled to himself.
It was then that he realized what he had to do. He had to go after Mac no matter how much Clay fought him. No matter how much logic or reasoning she gave him about their impossible relationship. He had to get her back. He couldn't give up on her without a fight. Not this time.
"Thanks Mattie." He whispered trying to relay the message to her.
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
The day had started off great for Mac. She had a good night's sleep and a delicious breakfast that Clay had made for her before work and she wasn't experiencing much back pain. Things were certainly looking up.
Ok, everything was looking better until she ran into Harm on her way to the elevator.
"Ouch...I'm sor...Harm. I'm sorry." She said as she rubbed her rib where Harm's brief case hit her.
"Are you ok? I'm sorry. I was reading the paper and I didn't see you."
"I can tell...I'm sorry. I was lost in thought and didn't see you." She tried to step to the side but Harm moved into her path.
"I'm sorry." His tone very soft as he leaned in to whisper it to her.
"It-it's ok Harm." And with that she stepped into the elevator. "You coming?" She asked Harm as she held the doors open.
"Yeah." He walked in with a heavy heart. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he felt that everything had a time and a place for it, especially something like a "talk".
Mac's Office
JAG Headquarters
Her mind was wandering freely as she studied the words on her paper, but she was quickly pulled out of it when a knock on her door frame stunned her.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch with me." He looked at her trying to find some sign that she would accept. Ever since she and Clay got back together she would use him as an excuse not to spend time with Harm, but somehow he would not give up.
"Um..." The phone rang. "Lt. Colonel MacKenzie."
"Hi. Yeah. No I'm still working. At what time do you want to meet there? Ok. See you then."
"Clay?" Harm asked in a defeated tone.
"Yeah. Sorry...um...I can't go to lunch with you today Harm. Maybe some other time ok." She felt her heart sink when she saw the look Harm gave her. It was the same one he had when he saw them kiss and embrace each other.
"Um...yeah, sure, no problem. Have a good day Colonel." He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but damn it he was tired of feeling this way every time she rejected his offers.
Mac just followed him with her eyes as he walked to the elevator...alone.
A Few Weeks Later
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
Nothing had changed between Harm and Mac. For the last few weeks, they had gotten accustomed to a routine. They would come in to work, get coffee, occasionally say hi, and finally the part that killed both of them...go home and recall the many missed opportunities of the day. There was usually no personal talk...all work and no play.
Harm was tired of living the way they were...it was eating away at him. Why couldn't he just say something and fix this one way or another. They needed to either fix what they could have, or walk away and move on with their lives. Needless to say Harm preferred to have Mac by his side.
How was he going to make her see that she belonged with him? That her rightful place in life was in his arms as the owner of his heart. It seemed impossible so far. Every time he wanted to share a few minutes with her, whether it be for lunch, dinner, or just for a conversation, she would often use work or more often than not...Clay.
`Maybe I should do something now.' He thought to himself. So he headed out to see the only woman he was willing to give anything for.
TBC