Hahahahahahahahahahaha... whatever.

RAN-DOM-NESS! Again. but what else can I do? I haven't written since the nanowrimo. After so long a story either gets written or it infests my mind. I had trouble cleaning out one I let sit for two weeks, after three months I have my own personal landfill...x_x

Disclaimer: Not mine? Really? Noooooo….

Alright I'll bite; FMA belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, I'm just giving her "children" a hard time. XD

Kawaii Bean Off-Brand Story.

-Hide and Seek-

Ed gawked at a note on his door.

This had to be a joke... why in the world would something like this be here? Furiously he tore the paper off the door and stormed down the halls, ignoring the complaints of a fellow dorm resident as he bumped into him without a word of apology.

Once outside Ed was calm enough to walk swiftly to a nearby waste bin and deposit the abused note before he made a bee line for the building he found for the first time to be his worst enemy at this particular moment...

Central Library

...and the person inside who'd left him such an indecent piece of embarrassment tacked on his dorm room entrance.

=-=-=-=-=

Inside he looked around hastily, all ready and willing to inflict bodily harm and demand a long explanation from the one responsible for putting him in this sort of mood. All day had gone on without a hitch; and the burdening thing called 'fate' seemed bent on giving him a holiday.

He was in a good mood for once.

Only now...

Ed should have realized something would go wrong. Or that someone would make his day go wrong anyway.

He wanted to confront the stupid moron that left the note, his heart hammering behind his ribs like they would break if it kept trying.

What if someone other than him saw that?!

Another person living in the dorms?

His younger brother...

The knowledge that the offender made it possible that Alphonse could have been the one to read that and not himself made him all the more angry. Al was an innocent behind that steel flesh, why put something so vulgar out in the open for anyone to read?

He was ready to kill.

Turning down a section of books on a tall shelf labeled 'E' through 'H' in the history section he caught sight of a figure braced against the end of the isle, before said figure disappeared around the corner.

"Get back here we need to talk!" Ed yelled, shooting down the isle. He reached the end and opened his mouth to yell some more before a hand clasped over his mouth, muffling the threat of death to the one that stood behind him.

"Not so loud, do you want the librarian to come over here?"

Ed growled and shoved the hand away, gripping the wrist and staring eyeball to eyeball with the one he intended to kill without regret.

Instead he doubled back in confusion.

"W-Winry?" he muttered.

"Don't be stupid..." she muttered, her voice loosing the soprano to take on a very light tenor. "Do you honestly think your blond girl could be brave enough to leave a note of lewd endearment to you?" The imposter showed himself for what he was before putting a finger to his chin in thought.

"...Although I have witnessed half-hearted attempts in the past."

Ed released Envy's wrist and backed a step or two. Alright; what was going on here? At first he thought it was a sick joke left by Mustang. The scrawl about... this and that at the liabrary were painstakingly made to look like feminine work and Ed figured only one bastard would write something like that to piss him off.

If not found here he would have run straight into H.Q. to sock the fucker in the face, automail delivered.

Only now Ed's thoughts sank as he registered it wasn't the Colonel's doing. Shit.

Caught off guard Envy grabbed Ed's wrist before he could think and a bag was harshly pulled over his head, masking the liabrary and Envy's sharp grin from view. Ed panicked, cursing and shouting as Envy dragged him away. A short while later he was shoved forward and Envy released him and the sound of a door shut, followed shortly by the turn of a lock. Suddenly the bag came off his head and Ed looked around the room wide eyed, finding it to be just as dark as the inside of the bag had been, there wasn't even necessary light to distinguish furniture from human figure.

This can't be good.

Suddenly Ed felt the wind of Envy pass by him and heard as the homunculus step beside him. "I'll give you till the count of ten, hide anywhere you like. If I can't find you within an hour I'll let you go."

Ed only stood still at first. Something was very wrong here. "What are you playing at Envy?" Just how big was this room?

He heard Envy chuckle somewhere to his right. "Let's just say I'm bored, besides you owe me." Before Ed could protest Envy walked somewhere past him. "Trust me, you want to start hiding." With that he heard Envy take off somewhere away from him, and with heed Ed shot off to find the door Envy locked.

And ran smack dab into a table as a result.

Ed coughed out as he fell to the floor, his abdomen screaming in pain as he clutched it tightly.

"I'm starting! One...Two..." Envy said somewhere in the distance. Ed abandoned his pain and looked to find someplace safe.

But in the dark?

This was very bad. Why didn't he just leave the old fashioned way?

"Oh yeah!" Envy said cutting between his count between four and five. "No alchemy or I won't be nice!"

Ed pulled his hands away before they could connect. Scoffing while his heart raced, he crawled along the floor, deciding it'd be safer than standing. Robbed of his talent he felt completely exposed to anything despite the darkness of the... the...whatever room he was in.

What could Envy be up to, setting him up like this, and those words from the note...

Ed tried not to panic as he groped in the dark for a spot to hide. Could Envy have meant he was going to put the words from the note to use if he got found?

He couldn't be serious! that was just- his hand knocked into something and he moved away from it.

If that was the case, he realized as cold sweat broke out from his body, making his limbs shake with foreboding and borderline fear.

Then why was he here?

Ed cried out as his head collided into a solid object, giving him a slight wave of nausea. "Your making this too easy." Envy said between seven and eight.

Without another thought Ed dove to the floor, crawling forward until he felt hidden under whatever was to his left, probably a table or something, and held his breath with caution as he heard Envy's voice somewhere far off say;

"Ten, ready or not here I come!"

Ed stopped himself from smacking his forehead in irony. This seemed like a childish game he played when he was a kid. Only lieu to the situation anything but kid games were going to be had if he was found.

Crunching himself into the darkened space he wrapped both arms around his legs and brought them to his chest, head bent low and looking up in fear that a pair of legs would come by and Envy would find him before the hour was up.

"Oh, Chibi... Come out come out wherever you are..." Said Envy's voice somewhere in the distance, giving Ed the small satisfaction in knowing Envy couldn't very well see either.

So was it wise to just stay in one place? The dark was too risky to keep wandering around in and there was the off chance that he could walk right into his would be seeker.

No; no movement. Just breath slowly and wait it out.

Yet no matter how much he tried his only movement he failed to eradicate was his trembling heart. In the back of the alchemist's mind he hoped for a miracle.

Although hoping wasn't something that granted him much in the line of favors he needed it desperately this time. How could he have been so stupid as to let himself be swayed by some stupid piece of paper with words on it? If he had been thinking logically and not with his pride he might be outside right now doing whatever, anything but this-

As Ed sat brooding his eyes had adjusted enough to make out different shades in the dark and spotted a deeper pair of shadows come up from the left in front of him!

"Chibi..."

Ed's heart shot up his throat, fear (and anger from being called 'small') bubbled up in the space his heart previously occupied as he seen Envy stop right in front of where he sat motionless.

"Chibi..."

His breath caught in his lungs and he buried his face in his arms and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out any inevitable noise of movement that spelled out that he'd been found.

"Chibi..."

Ed peeked up, noticing that Envy's voice had wandered away, and so did the darker shadows that stood not too long ago in front of his hiding place. With relief he let his shoulder's unhitch and an air of calm sighed from his nose.

"I heard that!" Came Envy's voice, once again coming back to where he sat.

Before Ed could do anything in the line of protecting himself the shelter he sat under was suddenly pulled up off the floor and he knew in a matter of seconds Envy would have him.

Time seemed to slow as Ed searched desperately for an alternate route and noticed a confined space where what he could make out to be was a sofa. With only precious seconds to spare he dove for that spot, hoping against hope that the noise Envy made destroying his first shelter would mask his movement.

It was quite a squeeze but it was enough that Ed could fit, if only uncomfortably, his head turned to his right, arms hung stiff at his sides and both legs eagle spread like the chair was giving him a rather failed piggy back ride.

Ed couldn't see it, but Envy was gaping at the spot he believed that the blond Chibi sat only moments ago, and stepped forward to confirm if he was still there.

Nothing.

And the hour was almost up too.

Angrily he kicked the thing that was nearest to him and knocked over a cushioned chair. Letting his failed find blind him Envy stormed away, not even caring when something went crashing to the floor after he walked into it.

Back where the chair use to be Ed stayed it the same spot he was in, only the said cover was gone and he only had the mask of darkness to thank for avoiding being sighted. Slowly he let himself move from that position and he slowly edged himself to what looked like a curtain.

A noise of something else crashed somewhere, and Envy's voice muttered obscenities, startling Ed. It was nowhere near him so he continued to the drape.

As Ed reached to pull the curtain over himself the sound of a door opening rung out and room was suddenly illuminated with blinding light.

Ed gasped, looking around the once mysterious room to find it was a familiar medium sized reading lounge, and the thing he was going to hide under was indeed a curtain, window behind him with the wood shutters closed.

"What do you think your doing down there?" A feminine voice spoke out.

Ed turned his head to see a lady by the door, the librarian with a glare behind her glasses, arms akimbo as she tapped her foot.

Ed shot up from the floor, looking around to find Envy and seen him nowhere to be found, like he'd never gone into the room to begin with.

Ed sighed deeply with relief. He was gone.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." Ed said as he walked over to her. "I was here yesterday and forgot my watch," he pulled out the object for display before putting it back. It was a good thing he had been here yesterday or the woman wouldn't believe him.

"...is this the reason you turned this room upside down?" She said, glaring at the overturned table and sofa and what Envy damaged before eyeing the Fullmetal Alchemist again. "And why were the lights off?"

Ed shrugged. "I don't know, they weren't a few minutes ago; maybe this library is haunted." Before the woman could say anything more Ed shot out of the room, through the isles and didn't stop until he was out the door and on the sidewalk back to his dorm.

Berating himself Ed made it to his room and threw himself on the couch, breathing heavily. All the fight and energy in him drained for the day.

That was too close, if the librarian hadn't gone in there-

Wait.

Ed blinked as the few moments of entering the library replayed in his head. Didn't Envy lock the door when he got pulled in there? And thinking further he didn't remember seeing the librarian at all when he got there.

If that's the case...

Ed slapped his forehead sharply. "Shit."

-=-=-=-=-

Back at the library the woman stared after where the young blond left, and chuckled as she warped back into Envy.

"Not a bad game; Chibi..." He muttered. smiling in evil mirth as he went to put the sign that had only a few hours ago that stated the library was closed back up.

"Next game we play I'll be sure to win."

END.