So, I was watching this old movie with Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher called Bundle of Joy, and for some reason this popped into my head…
Happy New Year!
Apparently this was a thing.
The trainees were running amuck and Fury was fuming.
Fury found all the things in his office replace by cardboard replicas. Coulson's office was filled to the ceiling with packing peanuts. Hill's office had been turned into a bathroom. Each handler's office had a different theme, the cafeteria was wall to wall cups of water, there were post-it notes everywhere, and random things had been shrink wrapped.
Then, to top it all off, a group of trainees running around dressed all in black with ski-masks and paint ball guns. They were snaking around shooting at each other and at handlers. Apparently one had dropped out of the air ducts and ambushed the director.
In Natasha's first year at SHIELD, Coulson had managed to nip it in the bud early. Since then she had managed to be away from the main base each year until now, so she had always missed the chaos that came once a year. As Clint explained it, each year, agents-in-training would coordinate a sort of April Fool's Day. Since Fury had strictly forbidden pranks on April 1st, some smart-ass seven years ago decided to start a tradition of pulling off pranks on a random day each year.
According to Hill, that was the year Barton was recruited.
Speaking of which, he had been awfully secretive that last few days and was currently nowhere to be seen.
If he had anything to do with this, she was going to kill him.
She couldn't care less about the pranks, none of the recruits were stupid enough to pull anything on her; they were all terrified of her. But, the chaos that ensued led to her being left alone with a eight week old baby. A human baby. Why the hell was there even a baby on base?
Kayla was a nurse on base. Nice enough woman. She was very motherly, especially when it came to the trainees. As soon as the chaos brought on by the spontaneous paint ball war began, she took off to restore order.
Which would have been great, except she had been on maternity leave; and had only come in to show off her baby to her co-workers. When she took off, she shoved the baby carrier into Natasha's arms and then vanished.
That was over an hour ago.
Now she was sitting in an untouched break room with a tiny little human. Who leaves their baby with someone like her?
The baby had been asleep, but was now beginning to stir. He opened his tiny eyes to look up and Natasha. He looked around for his mama. Upon not finding her he turned an accusing look on Natasha. It startled her. His tiny little feature screwed up really tight.
bozhe moy
And then he erupted. A loud wail pieced the air, and he turned bright red with the effort.
Shit
What should she do? Pick him up? No, she didn't dare.
This was not in her job description.
"Uh…Shhhhh….there there, mommy will be back soon…" he cried even louder, his face now becoming purple. Natasha had to bite back a wave of panic. This was ridiculous! She is a perfectly capable, trained operative. She should be able to manage a small child. Right?
She gently rocked him in his carrier, to no avail.
Ok, here goes.
Hesitantly, she undid the straps and reached out to lift the little babe. Her hands froze centimeters from the wailing bundle. She balled her hands into tight fists and took a deep breath. Gently, she slid her hands beneath him and pulled him to her like she had seen others do.
Great. Now what?
She stood there stiffly hold the small thing while he continued to scream. Honestly, how was thins kid getting any oxygen?
"whacha doin'?"
If she were the type jump when surprised, which she most definitely was not, she would have jump at the sound of his voice and damn near dropped the squalling child. Clint appeared out of thin air right at her shoulder, an annoying grin quickly spreading across his face as he took in the sight of Natasha Romanoff holding a screaming baby.
He couldn't help it; he dissolved into a fit of laughter. The baby stopped for just a moment, with a confused look on his face and he peered up at Clint. He gave a little hic-up and then his face scrunched up once again and he was off again.
At this, Clint only laughed harder. He finally got control of himself, wiping tears from his eyes he finally met Natasha's gaze. Her un-amused frown merely set him off again.
She heaved a heavy sigh in frustration and looked positively miserable with a baby crying in her ear. She gave him a hopeless look. It was so unlike her. He took pity on her, and pulled himself together.
She stiffened as came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
He adjusted her hold on the child so that she was holding him against her shoulder, "like this." He said softly.
"Here, you take him." She tried to turn in his arms, but he wouldn't let her. He didn't answer; instead he began to sway with her.
The child quieted, but was still fussing. Instinctively, Natasha gently rubbed his back, softly hushing him. Next to her ear, Clint began to hum a warm sweet tune that sent shivers down her spine. She relaxed into him as he began to add words.
Hushaby… Rockaby… listen to my Lullaby in Blue
Blue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue
How I love my pretty baby. Sweet and precious pretty baby
How I love my pretty baby. Honest to goodness I do
See here Sandman's a'coming
and he'll be here mighty, mighty soon
And if you don't cry, he'll be dropping by
with a great big lollypop moon
Blue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue
Dream, dream, dream
be an angel dream
dream dream be a
Darling, I love my pretty baby
Honest to goodness I do
Honest to goodness I do
Blue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue lue
The tiny babe finally settled against her shoulder.
He continued to sing softly and sway back and forth with her. She closed her eyes and allowed a soft smile to grace her lips. Never in a million years had she ever imagined herself in this situation, coaxing a baby to sleep. Not that she'd ever admit it, but the thought of taking care of a child terrified her. For the moment though, she allowed herself relax and entertain the dream of what life might have been like if she'd never been drafted into the Red Room.
"Ahem,"
Clint quickly jumped away from her, awkwardly clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh, uh…hey there Coulson. How's it going?"
Coulson just stared at him, his trademark deadpan firmly in place.
"I presume you had nothing to do with today's events?"
"course not! Been here the entire time with Natasha, teaching her how to babysit." Clint plastered on his is-this-a-face-that-would-lie-to-you face as he strategically angled his body so as to hide the telltale splatter of paint on the back of his shirt and ski-mask tucked into his waistband.
Coulson turned to Natasha, who was still swaying and rocking the baby, for confirmation. She almost smiled fondly as Clint's eyes silently pleaded with her to cover for him. He was such a child.
"He was here the whole time."
Coulson still looked skeptical, but didn't question them any further.
She smiled briefly at Coulson before abruptly pushing the sleeping child into his arms. His expression was utterly priceless
Without waiting for Coulson to recover from his shock, she tugged Clint out of the room and down the hall toward her quarters. She pulled him into a kiss as she yanked him through the door, letting it shut behind them.
Don't for get to review! pretty please with a cherry on top!