George Washington's Proclamation of Neutrality
Since it looks like theres a like a war totally going on between Austria, Prussia, that Sardines place, Britain, and the United Netherlands, whatever that is and then France on the other side. And now both sides want my help because I'm so awesome and powerful. Haha! However, you should always keep your audience wanting more so all I have to say is stay neutral.
I came to this awesome conclusion while thinking in my super awesome chair of thinking that Britain was so kind to supply for me. The United States of America will like stand firm on this decision. Sorry dudes.
Also, if any of my citizens decide to totally go against me, he will be liable (like how I threw in that awesome big word to show off my intelligence?) to some pretty nasty punishment. So that means, don't give them any of my super awesome weapons, help them with my top of the line hospitality, even though I'm known for that, or anything like that at all. I'm not helping them because I am going to totally be the bigger man in this and completely stay out of their little kid problems. All of my awesome police officers who do whatever I ask them to know to take care of anyone who brakes my totally lawful laws because they're my laws and what I say goes!
Go America!