Huh? What? I don't wanna get up - oh, the game is starting. Okay. Back to work.
I station myself at my vantage point high above the minefield. As usual, it is set on "Expert" - I must admit, the person playing this game deserves that title. She's good at this; she just needs to strike that balance between speed and accuracy. Indeed, in this round, she has nearly half the field cleared before she makes one of the careless mistakes that have cost her many a good game.
The error causes all forty-seven of the unmarked mines remaining on the field to explode at once, and the poor little minesweeper is in the midst of three of them. Immediately, I jump into action.
My first order of business is to help the minesweeper off the field and into the recovery program. Fortunately, he has fallen near the field's upper edge. Reassuring him, I carefully lift him, carry him a directory or two over, and place him on a sheet of pure white paper. Within my easy reach are an assortment of tools and colors.
What's this? He's conscious again! Well, that's a good sign - he'll live. But that also most likely means I'm about to be yelled at . . .
He coughs once and says, "You stupid ass, you've left my leg on the field -"
"Shhhhh," I say. "Ever been here before?"
"No."
"Well, if you'll just relax and be quiet, you'll find that that doesn't matter."
He gives me a disgusted look, but says nothing more, and I begin the healing process. The missing leg is the worst of it; the rest is just cuts and bruises. First of all, I use the eraser to wipe up all the blood.
To replace the leg requires the use of Copy/Paste on the one that is still there. I do this with the utmost care and precision, being sure that the new one goes on straight. When I am finished, it is as if nothing ever happened.
Next, there are the minor wounds to attend to. I use my trusty eyedropper to obtain the colors of skin and clothing (orange and two shades of green, respectively). Transferring these colors one by one to the paintbrush, I smooth over the scratches, healing them completely.
When I finish, the minesweeper smiles in spite of himself. "Thank you, sir."
"That's what I'm here for, son. Now how about if we go home."
"Yeah."
We walk together back to the field. He goes to Minesweeper HQ, and I return to my post.
Now, I am clicked on, asked to prepare the field for another round. I call out some special words, and the mines and flags file off the field while all the holes from the previous game are filled in. I then tell the mines to form up for another round.
They do as they are told, and the new game starts as soon as they are set in another entirely random pattern. I congratulate myself for once again performing all my duties faster than the human eye can perceive. For our gamer, there has been almost no delay between games.
Disclaimer: Minesweeper belongs to Microsoft. No money is being made off this; I write (and play Minesweeper) because it's fun. :-)