A/N – This is just an idea, that came up. The song lyrics are by Phantom Planet and the song is Wishing Well.
Summary – His home had gone with that burning car. Oneshot.
Disclaimer – I don't own anything.
Hiding
It cursed us all on our way home
We passed the sights like passing stones
And I will never go back there again
The summer of 2006 was the most lonely one Ryan had ever had.
After the accident, Ryan had just been hiding.
Hiding from the pain, that losing her had caused.
Hiding from the grief, that was beginning to be too much.
Ryan didn't go to the funeral for which he thought was a good reason. He didn't want to face all those people, who felt sorry for him. He didn't want to see the casket, where the beloved girl now layed. He didn't want to face the Cohens, who would have been convincing him to come home.
His home had gone with that burning car.
The dust and sand is what they sell
The flashing lights and ringing bells
A wish as far as I can tell
Inside this dried up wishing well
He spent the whole summer with memories of Marissa and himself. There had been good and bad times, but somehow they always pulled through. The final separating had just been too much.
Ryan never went to see her gravestone. He was too afraid to see those numbers of how long she had been on Earth. It would had made it just too real to realise that she was really gone, out of their lives.
Of course she would live in their hearts and memories, but was it enough?
He was too afraid of forgetting. Afraid of sometimes living through days without even once thinking about her.
The Cohens weren't actually helping. They kept pressuring him and making him feel guilty about himself.
"How can you be in here and leave everyone just grieving over her without you?"
He had been so long, that he was almost too embarrassed to go back.
The quietness was the worst part. He had always enjoyed peaceful moments in the Cohen house, as always someone was chatting about something. Now the loneliness was growing to be too much.
He had been hiding the happiness that he felt, while the Cohens tried their best to get him back. At least it showed, that they still cared.
Now he was back in the poolhouse. Somehow everything always ended up in there. The house was a place, where every joy and sadness had been shared, at least between Marissa and Ryan.
And now a girl was madly beginning to be in love with him.
Taylor.
How come he never paid any tension for her during senior year?
Taylor was a girl who didn't have be saved all the time. Ryan didn't think he was ready to be in a new relationship, but he was willing to try.
Their kiss had shown, that he was ready to feel something else than just over-whelming grief.
He was ready to put everything bad behind. To forget those sad memories and concentrate in the good ones.
"We love you and in this point, that's all you need."
Ryan was grateful about the people around him. It was good to know, that there was someone ready to take care of you, when you didn´t have enough strength for it. That someone was willing to love you, even if you didn't deserve it. That somebody had the time to listen to you, when you were finally ready to talk.
He was thankful to God, that he had survived from the accident in the first place. At that moment he hadn't been so sure about that, but now he was.
He knew he was ready to live the rest of his life without Marissa, he just had to get used to it.
He would always love Marissa, even just as a friend, but maybe it was time to let go and move on.
That's what everyone else had done already months ago.
I know there's something wrong
'Cause this night just drags on and on
The clock still says it won't be long
'Til all your hard earned money's gone