Ok firstly, all characters belong to Dick Wolf (the blooming genius). The story is based on a song by Avril Lavigne entitled 'Naked' (all rights to their respective owners). I really recommend you YouTube the song before reading the story. The lyrics are so powerful and will hopefully help you develop a vision of where you would like the story to go and what you expect from me. Please read and review!
The one that's gonna get me, through another day.
The alarm blared all around her apartment. Olivia released an unceremonious groan and opened her eyes. What the hell? Why was she on the sofa? Why was she still in last night's dress? And where the hell was that noise coming from? Olivia managed to pull herself up off the sofa and headed towards her bedroom, she'd finally established that that was where the alarm tone was coming from. Thank God she had set it before she left for a 'quiet' drink with Alex Cabot last night, a bollocking from Cragen for arriving late was the last thing she needed on top of what she assumed would be the worst hangover of her life.
Before she could muster the energy to get showered and dressed for another long day at work with her somewhat 'grumpy' partner she made an attempt to eat some breakfast and replace some of the fluids that last night's debauchery had robbed from her. As she sat at the breakfast bar toying with her cereal she suffered a series of unpleasant and highly embarrassing flashbacks from the evening before. Alex had decided that it would be an excellent idea to do shots, as if this wasn't bad enough she later added in the 'fun' of playing truth or shot. Olivia was halfway to hammered as it was and more shots were just not an option so she stupidly chose truth, she groaned at the thought of the words that had exited her mouth. She vaguely recalled Alex's question being something to do with spending a night with either Elliot or Fin and she had honestly answered Elliot but unfortunately Alex who had been her friend for as long as she could remember was more than capable of reading between the lines.
Olivia put her head in her hands as she remembered where exactly the conversation had gone next. Alex, forever the ADA probed Olivia on the ins and outs of her and Elliot's 'relationship'. In her vodka induced state Olivia had been more than willing to share her admiration for her partner, he was after all one of her best friends, he knew things about her, things about her past that she would never disclose to other people. Alex however was less than complimentary about Elliot; his attitude recently towards Olivia had been one that the other cops and lawyers who worked closely with the pairing had developed an instant dislike to. To say their relationship had become somewhat volatile of late was an understatement; Olivia could barely get a grunt from him when trying to initiate a conversation never mind the abuse she received when they were working a case. She herself knew that his behaviour wasn't what it should be, they had been close for years yet recently he'd been shunning her, closing her out. She knew why and was grateful that in her drunken stupor she hadn't disclosed the reasoning to Alex. Elliot was having a tough time at home, things weren't great with Kathy and last month they had begun divorce proceedings. She was the only one in the unit who knew it though he never told her what exactly the reason behind it was, she could only assume that it was due to the long work hours. Not many women would put up with his dedication to the job, it was almost as if Kathy was his mistress and he was married to the job.
Although she was glad that her loyalty to Elliot had remained throughout her interrogation by Alex she cringed at the fact that she had disclosed her feelings towards her long term partner. Not only had she shared her feelings but she was almost sure (though the memory was somewhat hazy) that she had professed her love for him. As if having a hangover wasn't bad enough she now had to deal with the potential repercussions of her action. Christ! It was the first rule of being a cop; damn it was the first rule of being a woman 'do not fall in love with your partner, particularly when he's married to someone else'. She knew Alex would never tell anyone but Olivia felt ashamed, it was bad enough that she had to deal with these feelings, now knowing that someone else knew that she had always seen Elliot as more than a work colleague, as more than a friend was humiliating.
She sighed and moved towards the bathroom to get a shower before heading to work, hoping that the hot water would cleanse her in some way, that it would take away these feelings that she had held for so long. Emerging from the shower she felt somewhat better but her feelings remained the same, they always would and she knew it. Whilst getting dressed she looked in the mirror for a little longer than usual, taking a little more care in her appearance than normal. She knew why, it was nothing to do with vanity. It was her way of coping, to prepare herself for the day ahead. She did it every day but today it was different because someone else knew, as she applied her makeup she realised that its purpose was not just to make her look that little bit prettier, it was her mask. The mask that she hoped would hide her true feelings from Elliot. She gently talked to herself, prepping herself for the day ahead 'I wake up in the morning, put on my face, the one that's gonna get me through another day'