Disclaimer: I don't own Hangover

"Phil? Hello!"

I looked up from my magazine and stared curiously at Tracy. The conversation hadn't sounded too good since she began speaking on the phone. I swatted my mother's hand away from trying to mess with my hair.

"Stu, talk to me. What's going on?" She demanded with a shake in her voice.

My heart skipped at his name and her tone. I got up and walked over to her giving her a curious look. She ignored me. "Wh- Stu? Stu! Fu-"

"What the hell was that about?" I asked finally, hands on my hips.

Tracy was looking at the phone with pursed lips. "They had better be here." She muttered.

I knew I wouldn't get her to say anymore so I went to grab my magazine and purse, ready to get back to my apartment. "I hate these fucking heels." I mumbled, taking them off and rubbing my feet before putting some converse on.

"Paige!" My mother reprimanded, making her feel like she was 14 again. "This is your brother's wedding. I think you can handle wearing them a whole day for him."

"Of course I can handle it. Doesn't mean I like it."

Outside, I pulled my cell out and called Phil. It took two tries before someone picked up. "Hello?"

"Stu!" I exclaimed, happily. I hadn't been able to get a hold of them all weekend. "Why the hell haven't you been answering your guy's phones?"

"Uh, well-" He stammered nervously. I heard Alan and some other unfamiliar voice in the background. "An interesting story-"

I felt myself get nervous at his rambling. "What happened?" I asked slowly, starting up my car. A question Tracy repeated popped in my head. "Where's Doug?"

"We know where he's at!" Stu exclaimed loudly. I heard Phil tell him to 'shut the fuck up'. I snorted. He always had a way with words.

Sobered, I backtracked. "What do you mean, you know where he's at? Why isn't he with you?"

I heard some arguing before Phil's voice took over. "Paige, chill. Long story short, we lost Doug but now we know where he is, okay? No need to get your panties in a knot."

My mouth dropped, and I narrowly missed a passing a red light. "What the fuck, Phil! You lost Doug! I knew I should have went with you guys! You can't even-"

"This is exactly why you didn't come. You're a party killer, dwarf." He replied over my scolding. "That, and your big jugs give away that you are a chick. Chicks don't belong at bachelor parties unless they're strippers. And if you were a stripper that'd be weird because Doug is your brother."

I honked the horn at some bitch in front of me for cutting me off and clenched my teeth and Phil's retarded thinking process. "Shut up, Phil. And, I'm not a party killer nor am I a dwarf. You all just happen to be frickin' gorillas."

Phil laughed and apparently passed the phone back to Stu, since his voice reached my ears a couple seconds later. "I wish you'd gone with us, too Paige. But be glad you didn't. We don't remember anything from last night."

At that, I tensed and clutched the steering wheel with my free hand. "Oh… You didn't.. sleep with anyone did you?"

"Jesus! No. Melissa would kill me." He barked out, chuckling uncomfortably.

I felt my stomach knot painfully. "Right. Melissa." I felt a bit of teasing starting up in my mind though. "You know, I left a pair of sunglasses at your house. I think I'll pick them up right now."

"What! No, Paige! Melissa is there and you know… she's not too fond of other women so close to me like you." He pleaded. I heard Alan talking loudly in the back and I raised an eyebrow at how he'd even heard me.

"She's not fond of me? She's the one who fucked a waiter on that cruise. God, Stu, you know she's all wrong for you. Why are you with her?" I asked, parking in my spot, and walking into my condo. I set my keys down and leaned against the counter. "There's someone better out there for you. Trust me, I would know" I mumbled the last part.

"It was a bartender." He muttered before adding, his voice softer than before "Look, we'll see you at the wedding, okay? We're almost at the Hotel."

"Yeah, okay. Uh, get back safe, I guess."

"Don't worry. Bye, Paige."

I sighed and tossed my phone in my purse and quickly picked up the box of hair products and makeup to bring back to Tracy. This day was going by too slow.