A/N: Okay, so this fic is inspired by an AMAZING review from one AweSoMeLAgain! Thanks for your reviews on Boys, Interrupted and Listen To Me, I'm thinking they're what has given me the inspiration to do this little take on a sit in at a Berry Family Dinner:)
Joy of Joys! if you review, I'll mention you in my next fic OR write a story for you, based on 3 things you wanna see!
Okay, so I'm desperate. But I mean, come on! You guys used to give me 10 reviews a day! Now my poor writers block is feasting off the tiny single review I get in 3 weeks! Goodness, People!
Anyways, gracious huggles to AweSoMeLAgain again (Teehee?), this is for you!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Glee. Or Darren Criss.
Or his sunglasses:)
Annnd here we go!
"Honestly Blaine, why do I have the feeling that your oh-so-charming infintive dapperness will only annoy me in the years to come if you keep inviting me to things like this?" Kurt grumbled, even as he checked his his hair for any disruptment and straightened his new Marc Jacobs fitted hip-hugging jacket and checkered blue bowtie, confident he was at least going to get some groping in for this punishment, damnit!
Blaine couldn't help but smile at his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him from behind as he continued to complain about the dinner date he had (accidentally) set up with Rachel at her house tonight at 7 o'clock sharp.
"Aw, come on babe. You secretly love Rachel, much as you talk about shoving socks into her mouth and grudgingly loving her talent, if albeit envying her for it."
Kurt allowed him that with a nod, grinning despite himself. "I just don't see how she got to you. Was it that incessant chattering? She tends to catch people off guard when she does that. Now that I think about it, maybe that's how she got so many solos...," Kurt furrowed his pale brows as he thought back to when Rachel won her top spots in Glee club at McKinley, finally admitting to himself that it had to have been her talent, although most of it certainly could have been won over by her annoying monologues on history of showchoir or herself or something...
"Hah! You think she chatters? Have you ever heard yourself when you get started on horrible fashion...choices...um. Have I told you I love you today? Because I do, honey. So, so much," Blaine hurried to cover up his verbal foot in the mouth, recoiling at Kurt's raised eyebrow look, the look he secretly referred to as his "You were saying," bitch look.
And there were many, many different categoried bitch looks when it came to Kurt Hummel.
"Yes, Blaine I do believe that is what Tosh.0 would call the american, what was it? Oh yeah. "Fuck up." Now get your fit ass in the car before I pinch you and lecture you on your hair."
"Yes dear."
"Blaine."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "Yes, darling?"
"Blaine!"
"Fine, fine! Yes, snookems. Happy?"
Kurt turned his best glare on his sarcastic boyfriend. "Don't make me start with the hobbit jokes, Frodo. Cause I so will, and I will also make you walk home."
"But you love me. C'mon, admittttttt ittttt."
"Did I mention I will withhold sex?"
"... I'm going to go get in the car now."
Kurt chuckled at Blaine's retreating back as he jogged down the stairs, probably hoping to avoid such a horrible withholding. "Yeah, that's right! Watch yourself Anderson!" he called, still giggling.
Who was he kidding? It would practically be sacriledge to withhold sex with Blaine Anderson from anyone, given how incredibly fit and sexy and amazingly hot he was, much less he, as Blaine's boyfriend. He just loved teasing the poor boy.
Kurt finished up in the bathroom, going as slowly as he could down the stairs, as if being a tortoise for five minutes would somehow make them miss dinner at the Berry household.
Apparently Blaine had seen Rachel at the Lima Bean the day before when Blaine was on his way to meet Kurt at the mall, but had stopped to buy them both coffee. Rachel had strode up to him, hugged him fiercely, proclaiming she hadn't seen him since the benifit Neglect concert New Directions had hosted, and was ever so excited to see him. She had also invited he and Kurt to dinner on Friday night at 7 at her place, leaving before Blaine had a chance to politely decline. Kurt claimed that he was to awstruck by how fast she could speak that it was all a blurry hum to his poor unaccustomed eardrums.
Blaine had shrugged, not wanting to seem rude by agreeing. ("But let's get real," Kurt had said. "When is she ever going to shut up? That's what the other girls and I are betting on. I'm on 5 months after graduation, when the world bites her on her ass. Cedes said one week after Prom. Santana was just begging us all to let her show Rachel how to shut up the whole time. I'm inclined to think that had Rachel herself not walked into the choir room five seconds after, Tina and Cedes just might have let her.")
Oh, what friends he has. So delightful, Kurt thinks, that he can be annoyed and amused at the same time. Snorting as he opened the car door, he was met with Katy Perry's Last Friday Night blasting from the escalade's speakers and Blaine happily belting out the lyrics to a package of chopsticks that had come with Kurt's lunch on Wednesday. Kurt laughed and hurriedly snapped a picture with his iphone, making his presence known to the older teen when he slammed the door behind him, laughing at the senior's childish antics.
"What?" Blaine asked, a dopey smile present on his tan face, even in the dead of November. "A man can't rock out to an amazing artist in his smexi boyfriends car with eating utensils from other countries without critism? How rude!"
"Actually, those are from Panara Street's take out place. Not another country."
"Oh shush," Blaine silenced him with a chaste kiss, reaching inside Kurt's pocket to grab the car keys. Sarcasm doens't suit you."
Kurt grinned like the Chesire cat. "Really? I was under the impression that I needed a t-shirt made especially for me that says 'Sarcasm Society. Like we need your support.' I mean, totally fitted, of course. And nothing orange or blue. I love the colors, but I would never wear them together."
Blaine couldn't help but laugh at Kurt's hidden comeback as he pulled out of the driveway, intent on not letting Kurt's focus run to where they were going. He could at least try and make this a funny experience.
Try, being the key word.
"You know," Kurt mused, tracing patterns on the fabric of Blaine's jacket idly. "I think that when I got in the car, you called me..what was it? Oh yeah! Smexi? What the hell is that?"
"Erm..I don't actually know. Maybe 'more than sexy'?"
"Are you kidding? Why would you even say a word that you don't know the meaning of? Isn't that like, rule one of fourth grade? Don't repeat words you don't know the meaning of, because they could get you in trouble?"
Blaine shook his head. "Can't be all bad. I heard some pre-teens whispering it and pointing at me in American Eagle last week. I'm guessing it means cool or something."
Kurt shot him a look. "Before I even attempt to find out why the hell you were in American Eagle, I think I'd like to know more about these preteen fangirls." He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, as if demanding many answers but not wanting to voice them all.
"I dunno, maybe they liked my jeans? They were the black skinnys with the silver paint designs you helped me pick out, remember? Plus, I think my hair was ungelled. Maybe they thought I looked weird!"
"Oh, yes. It has nothing to do with the fact that you have the body of an Adonis and amazing raven locks," Kurt deadpanned.
"Meh. I hate my hair ungelled. Course, it was waayyy worse in junior high, but my dad still thinks that was the beginning of my 'rebellion' stage and my mom would just run her fingers through my hair, shake her head, and call me a bum."
Kurt giggled. Bum? It seemed like his laughter built in his throat until he was cackling into his hands, face red and a bewildered Blaine staring at him just setting him off that much more.
"I- I'm sorry! But, hahahah! I keep imagining you rolling your eyes and saying 'yes mother, I am now a bum' in eighth grade with afro hair! Oh my God! I can only imagine you as adorable!" he gasped out, grabbing at his sides as Rachel's neighborhood came into view.
"Thank god we're here. I don't think I could take much more of your charming comments on my hair," Blaine said sarcastically, walking around to Kurt's door and opening it for him, always the gentleman.
Ringing the doorbell wasn't needed after Blaine softly knocked, as the heavy oak door flew open and a very small something threw itself at Kurt, wrapping it's arms around his neck and holding on tightly.
"Whoa, down girl! Rachel! Get off me! This is new and I'll be very unhappy with you if you've gone and wrinkled it!" Kurt said, smiling at the smallest member of New Directions and his old Diva rival.
"So," she began, looking at them both expectantly. "I hope you've both brought your appetites with you?" Not giving either of them time to respond, she clapped her hands and bounced slightly. "Good! Now, inside, shall we?"
The boys could only nod and follow, Blaine glancing inquiringly at Kurt and the taller boy sending back smirks that seemed to say "I told you so."
Rachel's dads rose to greet them, Hiram wrapping one arm around his husband's shoulder while the other hand out to shake their hands. Blaine grasped it, thanking him warmly for inviting them while Kurt got reaqquainted with Tom, the older of the two and Kurt's favorite, for him being as much an Evita fan as he was.
"So daddy, tell Blaine how long you and dad have been married," Rachel winked at Kurt, like it was a secret.
"Ah, 17 years," Tom said, smiling warmly at his daughter and husband.
"Really?" Blaine asked, interested. "How did you manage that in Ohio?"
"Oh, we didn't," Hiram laughed. "We got married in California, back before a lot of people cared about each other's love lives, by a very nice reverend that believed more in love for God than in solid spirituality."
"Of course," Tom tossed in, "If we want to formally buy or enter something as a married couple, we have to show our license, and some businesses have even declared they won't work with Hiram's law firm or come in my shop because of our orientation. Suits us just fine, there are more indifferent people than accepting in Ohio, but at least less hate has come our way since we moved here all those years ago. You'd be so surprised at how nice some people are, compared to how their parents or grandparents were."
Kurt grinned at the look of wonder on Blaine's face. "Rachel's dads are very well known, being that Hiram is one of the only lawyers, and Tom runs the one and only formal photography shoot and camera store in all of Lima."
"I think it's amazing that you two have been together so long, and survived. I've heard of so many homosexual couples actually breaking up because all that hate got to them," Blaine said, still looking a bit awe-struck, with a side of something Kurt couldn't place.
"Oh smh. It's nothing," the two men waved them into the dining room, where an amazing dinner for five was set up. Kurt squealed and started a conversation animatedly in French with Tom when he saw his favorite french dish and cuisine laid out on the table, while Blaine occupied himself by talking to Rachel and Hiram about Patti LuPone, a favorite star of Hiram's, while the food was served and everyone dug in.
Polite talk was established and all was going pretty smoothly as the teens and adults ate, jumping from subject to subject with all of them talking sometimes, other times different people in the group branching off on their own topics.
Rachel, Kurt would complain later, was what made everything fall to hell.
"So, Kurt." Kurt looked up at the sound of his name, inclining his head for her to say what she had to say to him so he could get back to his cider and debate on Wicked's new showing. "I was talking to Finn the other day and he said that Blaine was over, and he said that when he passed by your room that he heard something that resembled a high F resound into the hallway? Well, he thought you were practicing Defying Gravity or something without music, but I'm inclined to think that you and Blaine have established an intimate relationship, which of course by intimate I mean sexual, correct?" She looked smug.
Cider dribbled down Kurt's chin as he choked and sputtered, Blaine helping him mop up the mess, also red in the face as Rachel's dads both exclaimed "Rachel!"
"What?" She asked innocently, looking like she was still awaiting that confirmation. "I'm just curious if they would need you to talk to them about protection and what not."
Tom rubbed his face. "Honey, you- well- you can't just out and ask someone about something so personal. You wouldn't say something like that to one of your friends from Glee, or to your Spanish teacher, would you?"
"Oh yes, she would, and has already done so," Kurt cut in, glaring at Rachel a bit.
Tom sighed, whiled Hiram looked like he needed a drink before he exploded into uproarious laughter. "Sweetie, I think we'd better let this one go. What I would like to know, however, is how much your sexual life has progressed, Rachel?" The two fathers identically raised eyebrows at their daughter as her face reddened and Blaine took this as his cue to leave.
Kurt grinned at the scene before him. "Oh this is too grea- hey! Blaine! What are you doing?"
"Thanks for dinner, Hiram, Tom, Rachel, but it seems we have to go. Have..fun, and I hope everything gets settled and all, bye!" Blaine dragged Kurt out the door.
"Blaine! No, wait! Waiiit! I wanna hear this! Ow! Don't pull me like that! I'm delicate! I bruise!"
Kurt and Blaine were enjoying their usual coffee orders at the Lima Bean the next Thursday, lucky that Dalton had gotten out early and both boys had changed out of the stuffy regulation uniform before running into town for some biscotti and coffee.
Kurt groaned at something Blaine had said as none other than Rachel skipped over to their table, not hesitating to slide into the booth next to Kurt, surprising them both.
"Hey, guys! What are you both up to today?" She asked cheerfully, missing the mischevious glint in Kurt's eye and the warning glance Blaine shot him.
"Oh, nothing much, Rachel, just wondering how much of your sex life your dads were informed of, right Blaine?" Kurt said breezily, innerly jumping in victory at getting a good one in over Rachel Berry.
She shrugged. "Nothing to tell them, actually. I haven't even allowed Finn above the belt, much less under clothing. There's no way I'm letting hormones overrule my desire for success for my career."
Kurt looked shell shocked and Blaine looked amused.
"But- but! The way Finn talks, I was thinking he was getting laid! What the hell, Rachel! What did you do to him?" Kurt peered at Rachel, as if all the secrets rested in the stitching of the truly hideous sheep sweater she was wearing.
"Oh, that? It takes nothing more than boundaries and setting limits, and then heaping very miniscule rewards to have your horomonally ruled boyfriend strung up by his testicals for the rest of his life, dear friend."
Blaine could so be reaping the benefits of making fun of Kurt's fish-out-of-water expression if he was wearing the exact one.
"Anyways, back to our interrupted discussion from Friday night- Oh my god! Blaine! is that a hickey? I knew it! I knew it! You are so having sex!" She sang, leaning across the table to grab at the Warbler's head and turn it just so she could see the faint purple mark on his collarbone, done by one enthusiastic Kurt in his basement bedroom two days before.
Coffee spread across the tabletop and stained all the napkins brown as the patrons of the Lima Bean ducked at the indignant shout of "Rachel!" ringing through the coffeeshop.
Ah, how interesting the life of gay teens in Ohio was these days.
A/N: AHH! Okay, so how did everyone like it? Took me two hours, guys, so I had better be getting some feedback. I actually had to google her dad's names. I think they're correct. Oh well. Also, I didn't remember what month it was during Night Of Neglect, so I used the first month that popped into my head. :)
If you read, REVIEW! PLEASE! Seriously, I don't care if it's one word that being "Good." or "Great job" Or hell, give me critism if you thought I should have done something differently or if I made a mistake! I review every single story I read, because i know how good reviews feel, and love making other writers feel that way. Come on folks!
The things I Do for you people;)
Love you all, R&R, yada yada.
Thoughts Of A Fallen Angel:3
P.S, I AM working on chapter 3 of I Wanna Hold Your Hand, but I'm a bit stuck. I just had to trade computer towers, which, thusly, means all my documents were wiped out. But, never fear, I DO have a backup on the notes on my iphone, and I still need ideas for chapter four, people. They're 11 in chapter 4, 13 in chapter 5, and after that you get a special surprise. Tell me what you want!