Author's Note: This is my first lemon, so…well…it's okay if you think that it sucks.
One of his favorite things to do at a bar or casino was to drink and watch people at a safe distance from all of the bustling people. Usually, he sat in a dark corner and aimed to stay away from the drunk and rowdy or the big betters and their entourage. Even with the surgery that Cerberus had generously done, he would never dance in a crowded bar with a bunch of drunk people with a beautiful woman in his arms. So, of course, while sitting in his dark area, he spotted the woman in the blue dress as soon as she walked into sight.
To be fair, most people stopped and stared as she walked by.
The dress was relatively short- stopping somewhere above mid-thigh. The dress itself was strapless and had some sort of designed beading across the chest, but he was nowhere near close enough to make out the pattern. He couldn't make out her face either, but, from the reaction of everyone around her, she was a knockout with her long, wavy blond hair.
And she was headed straight for him.
It wasn't his fault that he damn near fell off of his stool when he figured out it was Shepard. His eyes fell to her breasts and he realized that the beading looked like stars.
It was the perfect dress for her- the savior of the galaxy and the center of…no…he couldn't go there.
She stepped close to him and murmured, "Undercover. Just go with it."
He blinked once to let her know that he understood. She stepped so that she was between his legs and gave him a kiss that made his heart skip a beat. She had her tongue wrapped around his and her arms resting on his upper, inner-thighs. Her kiss and touch made promises that his body responded to instantly.
Too soon it was over.
"Really, Jeff?" she practically yelled, sounding heartbroken and caused more than a few people to stop and stare at them. "You couldn't even bother washing your mouth before meeting me here?" She gave him a hurt, angry glare before she all but sobbed, "You still taste like her!"
Thinking fast, Joker gave an exasperated sigh. "You weren't supposed to be here yet!" Apparently he was playing the cheating asshole.
She stepped back, tears trailing down her face. Without thinking, he reached out and gently erased them with his thumbs before she jerked away. "And that makes it okay?" she demanded. "Because I'm early it's okay that you taste and," she leaned forward, sniffing obviously, "smell like her?"
"Addison," he snapped, sounding furious (when, in all actuality, he was thoroughly impressed with her acting skills), "you need to calm down. This isn't a conversation to have in public."
"Is she here?" she demanded, looking around expectantly.
He reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her towards him. "No," he assured her, "she didn't come here with me."
Her expression was murderous. "And that makes it okay? Oh, so long as it isn't in public, it's fine! 'Addy'll be okay as long as no one's around to tell her!'"
"What do you want me to say?" he demanded, becoming actually confused.
"Not a damn thing!" she all but screamed. "Why should it matter to me what you and EDI do when I'm not around?" Her jaw dropped a little, seeming to be shocked about what she had just said.
Well, that made two of them.
Shit had just gotten real.
"What about you and pretty-boy Kaidan?" he demanded, his anger building. "What right do you have to get pissy about me and EDI when you have something on the side as well?"
Her hand twitched as though she was fighting the urge to slap him. "There's never been anyone but you," she snapped. Shaking her head so her long, blond locks got out of her face, she coldly said, "I'm done. I'm tired and I'm done." She stepped away from him. "Goodbye, Jeff."
Joker watched with his jaw slightly dropped as she walked away from him. She was either the best fucking actress in the galaxy (in that case, if she ever decided to retire from military life, she had another career she could fall back on) or…or she was really hurting over him choosing EDI over her.
Of course, he hadn't actually taken her seriously when she had asked if he had ever considered her.
It would have been completely unacceptable if he had done nothing but consider her since, while aboard the Normandy SR-1, he had managed to walk into the mess at the exact moment she had stumbled out of her quarters in nothing but her towel (having obviously just gotten out of the shower) in order to get a cup of tea.
His eyes narrowed as some guy walked up to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. She leaned into him and looked up at him with gratitude. The guy leaned down and whispered something in her ear that had her laughing and wiping her eyes.
"Hey," a guy sitting beside Joker said, interrupting Joker's thoughts. When Joker looked at him, he was informed, "You're an idiot."
"Oh?" Joker inquired, caught between annoyance and genuine curiosity. "Care to share?"
"No offense, but look at her and then look at you." The man then looked at Shepard and then back to him. "On a scale of one to ten, she's a solid twelve. I don't know what your other one looks like, but I doubt she comes even close to that woman you just screwed up with."
Joker looked over at Shepard and threw back a shot that was sitting in front of him and gestured for another. "No one holds a candle to her," he admitted.
All Joker could do was watch as the guy Shepard was with spun her onto the dance floor. The guy's hands were lower than was truly acceptable. She appeared to giggle and allowed him to guide her into a dance.
The only true pleasure that came from watching the dance was seeing her step on the guy's feet a few times.
He sat there for two hours, watching Shepard. When she brought the guy's head down and whispered into his ear, Joker saw him stiffen and nod jerkily. She smiled sweetly at him and walked away from him and left the area without a second glance towards anyone.
Slamming down his glass, Joker gestured for his tab to be credited and made his way out onto the strip and to Shepard's apartment. Curses spilled from his mouth as he struggled not to get bumped by the crowd.
It seemed to take a century before he actually reached her apartment door. Unsure of what he should do, he accessed a professional bypass program that Kasumi had installed onto his omni-tool. It took ten minutes for the lock to turn green (average bypass time for the program was less than a minute, but he supposed that Shepard had good cause to be paranoid).
The door slid open and Joker realized that Shepard wasn't anywhere to be seen.
Before he could utter a word, she vaulted over the couch (which was damn impressive since she was still in the sexy little dress) and pointed a gun at him.
"Damn it, Joker," Shepard cursed, lowering the gun. "I could have shot you." She turned around and walked over to the couch.
"Paranoid much?" he snorted, walking in. As she tucked her legs under herself, she through him a look that questioned his sanity. "Fair enough."
Joker slowly made his way over to the piano and stared out the window. He had come to Shepard's apartment for a reason. How the hell was he supposed to start the conversation?
"What d'you want, Joker," she demanded.
Best opening ever.
"Interesting question coming from you," he pointed out, the words spilling out before he could stop them.
That wasn't quite how he intended on starting the conversation.
She was on her feet in an instant and Joker turned around in time to see her struggling with the dress, her eyes flashing with anger.
"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded slowly, obviously trying to keep her temper in check.
Joker didn't move from his spot, giving her a look that said that he questioned her intelligence. When she didn't answer, he gave an over-dramatic sigh. "Shepard."
"What d'you want me to say, Joker?" she demanded. "My target was a man who enjoys picking up women on the rebound. You were the only one of my crew there."
He didn't believe her.
"Bullshit," he stated matter-of-factly.
"Excuse me?"
"That may be how it started out," he admitted, "but then you started saying stuff that you didn't mean to."
She walked slowly towards him, as though she was stalking prey. He could feel her biotics- even at their current distance apart. She was fighting for control, causing the varying fluctuations in the dark energy currents.
Honestly, Joker found it both nerve-wracking and slightly erotic.
Don't ask.
"Did I?" she taunted, stopping in front of him.
He fought to keep his eyes on her face (all he would have had to do was look down and he would get an eye-full) and his hands at his side. "Yes, you did."
"Funny thing about words- even if you don't mean to say them, it doesn't make them any less honest."
Joker's hands twitched with the desire to touch her. He'd never felt such a strong sense of compulsion as he did in that moment.
"Did you mean what you said?" he demanded. At her confused expression, he elaborated, "About you and Kaidan."
Her nose twitched in irritation, uncomfortable. "Does it even matter?"
Joker raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure that it does matter."
Frowning, she shrugged. "There's never been anyone else, only you and your smartass comments and your dumb hat. It doesn't even matter though, you chose-"
She broke off her sentence as soon as Joker took her hips in his hands. To say she looked surprised would be like saying the Reapers were bad (meaning, a serious understatement of epic proportions).
"Addison," he murmured, looking into her aqua blue eyes.
"You made your-"
Joker cut her off by pressing his mouth to hers. She made a small sound and wrapped her arms around his neck and gently drew his bottom lip between her teeth. It wasn't long before it became a war with their tongue.
They were drowning in each other. Joker's nose was filled with Scent of Shepard. He ran his hands up her sides and they came to a stop, resting briefly on her breasts before his thumbs began making circles where her nipples were.
Her breath stuttered as she pulled back to stare at him. Her eyes were clouded with desire and it thrilled him to no end that he was the cause. He could see the decision in her eyes as she held out her hand. Taking it, she led him upstairs.
She gasped as she was pulled around to face Joker once more as soon as they entered the bedroom. His hands shook as he ran them over her bare arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. When he reached her hands, she laced their fingers together and he brought them up to his mouth to kiss each one of her fingers individually.
"Jeff," she whispered, looking up at him with baby blue eyes.
He released her hands and gently cupped her face, running his right thumb along a scar under her eye. Viper Nebula, Bahak System, Aratoht, he thought. With his left thumb, he felt the warm moisture on her lips.
Without further delay, he kissed her suddenly with a bruising passion. Her hesitation was brief and it didn't take long for her hands to make their way under his shirt, her fingers playing lightly on his skin.
Joker stepped back long enough to rid himself of his shirt. He stood there awkwardly as she eyed him up and down. It wasn't like he'd never been naked in front of a woman before (because, he most definitely had…a few times), but this was Commander Addison Marie Shepard. It wasn't like he had a gut or anything, but a person couldn't count his abs like, say, someone like James or Kaidan.
Shepard smiled sweetly at him, though, her eyes still bright with desire, and kissed him at the base of his neck, where it connected with his shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed," she whispered against his skin, "you've already got me- you've always had me."
With renewed self-confidence and courage, he reached behind her and unzipped her dress, allowing it to fall, unhindered, to the floor. He gazed down at her partially naked body- only covered by small lace garments on her breasts and further nether regions.
"You're beautiful," he whispered, kissing her bare shoulder. He unhooked her bra and it fell to the ground somewhere around her dress.
He wasn't quite sure how she managed it, but his pants fell to the floor (he hadn't felt any sort of struggle around his zipper). Her fingers teased lightly around the band of his boxers as he pushed her lace underwear down her legs.
She was a beautiful sight in front of him. It was in that moment as she looked up at him with her eyes dilated, her lips slightly swelled from his kisses and her skin covered in nothing but a shiver of desire that he decided that it was women like her that created religions or started wars during the ancient times on Earth.
When she reached out and took his hat and placed it on her head, any sort of doubt that may have been plaguing him promptly disappeared. She was the perfect sight in nothing but his hat.
Joker rested his hands on her hips and stared at her for a long moment before slowly backing her to the bed, never looking away from her blue eyes. When her legs hit the bed, he slowly guided her down and followed her as she slid up the bed to a more comfortable position.
"If this isn't what you want, we don't have to do this," she murmured.
Yeah. She was the epitome of an ancient goddess.
Shaking his head, he hovered over her (barely thinking about the possibility if breaking an arm) and shook his head. "Only thing better than this would be doing it at the helm," he snickered. "Have to try that some other time."
She chuckled and pushed at his boxers and he maneuvered them as quickly and carefully as he could down his legs. He took a sharp intake of breath as she let her fingers run over his hardened length and she kissed his chest.
"Jeff," she murmured, trailing kisses everywhere she could reach.
He gripped his penis, taking a moment to marvel at what he was about to do (never had he thought that he would actually get to sleep with Commander Shepard. She squirmed slightly and he smirked down at her as he lined himself up with her opening. She looked up at him with pleading eyes that he had never had any woman make at him before.
Empowerment.
This was even better than being the best pilot in the galaxy despite being a cripple.
Right at that point, he had the most powerful woman in the galaxy silently pleading for him to take her in the most intimate, carnal way.
He thrust into her hard, not allowing himself anymore hesitation. He needed to feel her wrapped around him in the way that he had only imagined.
She cried out as her back arched, and pulled his face down to hers so that she could kiss him. He allowed her a moment to adjust to him before he pulled out slowly and thrust back into her.
Her cries of pleasure was fuel to his ego- not that it truly needed anymore fuel. She rose to meet him with every thrust, yearning to be closer to him- to take more of him in quicker.
His arms began to feel shaky- he didn't know how much longer he could support himself and continue. Realizing this, Addison slowly guided him to roll over onto his back and took position straddling him- supporting most of her own weight so as not to break him.
"Addison," he murmured. She looked down at him, stopping in her rocking. "You're perfect."
She smiled at him and reset the rhythm- not as abusive as he had set, but the perfect motion to attain pleasure and keep him from getting hurt.
The pleasure was building deep in his loins and he fought against it- he wanted to make sure that she had her pleasure as well- that he was the source of her pleasure. Without a moment of hesitation, he took one hand that was helping encourage her hips and found the small bud of her clitoris. She gasped and smiled down at him, their moans growing louder as the room's temperature increased.
He felt her walls tighten around her and she cried out as an orgasm ripped through her- tightening all of her muscles. That was all it took for him to lose any measure of control of his own. He guided her to take him further in and shouted his own release.
She lay down lightly on his chest and kissed his neck as he pushed her hair from her face.
"So, I take it that you're not mad at me anymore," he chuckled and she raised an eyebrow at his choice of timing for saying that.
Taking his bottom lip between her teeth, she smirked. "I take it that you aren't with EDI anymore?"
He wrapped his arms around her naked body and nodded. "I think that's a fair assessment of the situation."
She leaned back enough to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Good."
Author's Note: Picture of the blue star dress (which was the inspiration for the entire one-shot story can be found at /pin/478366791639828621/