May 2nd 1998.
All Tonks could do was pace the room up and down, wishing Remus had had the time to tell her how the twins could communicate with people inside the school, so she could find out exactly what was going on. Wishing time would go faster. Wishing she could be there as well.
Teddy had fallen asleep again and Andromeda had placed him on the couch. For a long moment nobody had said anything.
She could imagine what the fray would be like. If they were gathering at Hogwarts, it was just logical to suppose the Death Eaters were gathering as well. And maybe He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would be there. People were going to die, there was no point trying to convince her it would be otherwise. She had seen too much of the war to know how these things went.
And there she was. Sitting at her old parents' sitting room and doing nothing. Nothing but waiting, with the feeling she was going insane.
Suddenly certainty came, as hard as a wave. She had known what she was supposed to do all along.
Tonks stood up and Andromeda did the same, almost at the very instant.
"I'm going," she said, surprised at how calm her voice sounded.
Her mother did not say a thing.
Taking one last look at her sleeping son, Tonks grabbed her wand, and a handful of floo powder.
"I'll be back," she whispered to the tiny person.
Almost as if she had rehearsed it long ago, she threw it into the flames and contemplated for an instant the green emerald light emanating from them.
She had made up her mind long time ago.
The firm grip of her mother on her forearm made her startle. She had almost forgotten she had been there all along.
"You're not going," Andromeda said softly.
Tonks faced her, weary.
"It is not your-"
"I'm going instead."
With eyes wide open, Tonks looked at her mother's expression. She seemed to be serious.
"You deserve the chance not to do this," she said in a voice so low it was almost a whisper. "And so does Remus."
"Mum, there's no time for all this. I have to-"
"Listen to me, Nymphadora. You don't have to go!"
"What do you mean? Of course I have-"
"I mean," Andromeda rose at her full high, "I know why you need to be there; you'll be missed if you don't and… I'm afraid Bellatrix would not rest until she finish you off personally, and if nobody finishes her first, she would try with all her might to find you and you'll never get a second of peace. That's why I'll go there, disguised as yourself, and try my best to protect Remus and bring him back to you in one piece. And if I can get close enough for a good aim at her, don't doubt I'm going to take my chance."
"What?" Tonks looked at her mother, her mouth slightly open. She must be joking, or must have gone insane. "I can't let you do this! You're not trained for this, they'll kill you!"
Andromeda smiled sadly and looked at Teddy, peacefully asleep.
"I'll only regret not to get the chance to see him grow up and drive you crazy the way you did to me."
Her mother must be out of her mind. This could not be happening.
"You don't have to do this," Tonks tried to sound calm enough. "You stay here and look after Teddy. We'll be back-"
"You don't know that, sweetie, you just hope. And I hope that as well, but… I don't want my grandson to be an orphan. I want him to be raised by her mum and dad, as it should be."
Suddenly she drew her wand and pointed it at Tonks.
"I'm doing this," Andromeda continued with a soft, almost tender voice, completely at odds with her menacing gesture, "whether you like me to or not. The Polyjuice potion is ready, nobody will know you were not in there. I'll find Remus and I'll bring him here, safe."
This must have been one of those strange dreams that usually haunted her; the whole situation, her mother's proposition, it all felt unreal, impossible.
"What if you die?" Tonks asked, her voice merely a whisper.
Andromeda smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.
"Your father took a great piece of me when he died. I am…" her mother's voice broke a little and Tonks felt as if her heart was shrivelling. "Most of the time I feel there is no place for me in this world any more. My time… our time is over; it had been taken away from us. Yours is still here."
Tonks had not realised when had she started crying; with an impatient wave she whipped off her tears, trying to get a brainwave of what to do.
"Let's go, both of us."
"Don't be silly Nymphadora," Andromeda prompted, just as if she was scolding her for a crazy idea she might have had when she was five. "Your place is with your son. It's your duty now, and it is much more important than any other thing, including all that saving the wizarding world nonsense."
"But Mum-!"
"I'm doing this, Dora," her mother's eyes were wet as well. "And I'd rather leave without having to fight you; I'd much prefer you'd hug me before."
Tonks looked at her son again. Time was passing, how long had it been since Remus had left?
"Ouch!"
With a swift movement, Andromeda had taken one hair from her head and she was now walking towards the kitchen.
"Mother!" Tonks protested.
She did not respond but took a small bottle from the cupboard. The mud-like liquid was all but too familiar to Tonks. How long did her mother have had this? Had she planned for this all along?
Andromeda put the stopper off and threw the pink hair in. The liquid became a clear mauve surface.
"That's a pretty nice colour," she commented, as if she was talking about something else entirely.
"I…" Tonks' voice was almost inaudible. "I don't want you to go."
"I must. That is my duty. You have yours."
And without knowing how, both women were hugging, Tonks sobbing into her mother's shoulder.
"You'll do fine, Dora," Andromeda said, "you'll be a great Mum."
"You were the best."
"I know, but you'll do nicely all the same."
Tonks chuckled between sobs.
Andromeda gave a step back and with a large gulp she drained the bottle.
Looking at her mother take her shape, Tonks' realised for the first time they were not that different. She was just a younger, more colourful version. There were the same eyes, the pale skin, and especially that determinate look which was Andromeda's most distinguish feature right now; Tonks recognised herself in all that and wished she could be a little more like her in many other ways.
"Mum…"
"I'll have to go and find Remus now."
Andromeda walked swiftly to the living room and approached Teddy.
"Whatever you do, little man, be creative and make the most of every day."
Tonks looked at them and had to suppress another sob.
Her replica approached the chimney and took a handful of floo powder.
"Be safe and take care of your family," she said, looking straight into Tonks' eyes. "Them, they are the most important think you've got."
"I know," she nodded, "I'll do, Mum. And you… please come back."
Andromeda did not answer. With a proud air she threw the powder into the flames.
"The Hog's Head!" she cried, and with a spin she was gone.
AN: Needless to say, I do enjoy living in the Land of Denial. I had this piece drabbled and after seeing DH second movie (and *that* scene at the great hall I don't want to think about), I decided to finish it and post it. And pretend nothing happened. There, of course, will be a second chapter.