I Suffered Too

Summary: Mokuba thinks back on the time he and Seto spent with Gozaburo, and reflects on the fact that even though Seto had the bad end of the bargain, it was hard for him too. Mini fic.

I remember hearing shouting.

I remember seeing my brother-but only every once it a while.

He always looked sad.

It made me sad too.

I don't think Seto ever was really happy.

Maybe some long, distant time ago, when he was still just a little boy. Before I was born. I'm afraid I might have ruined Seto's life.

But I know when he's happy, and most of the time it's with me. I try to make him happy, because he deserves it.

I hate Gozaburo Kaiba for what he did to my brother.

Nobody knows like I do how it is to see my brother, a cold but human child die a little inside every day. Sometimes I was afraid he wouldn't be able to take it any longer, after the millionth time I cried into my pillow at night, after the millionth time I wished things could have turned out some other way.

Seto went through hell.

He went through hell, those long years with Gozaburo.

He learned lessons he didn't need or want to learn.

But I learned things too.

I learned things I really think I would have been better off not knowing.

Not everybody in the world is good.

Not everything can have a happy ending, because life isn't like that.

Life is cruel, and I learned that far too soon.

I'm cheerful.

I'm a happy person.

But every once in a while, I remember how things were, with Gozaburo. How horrible it was.

How it changed my brother.

But also how it changed me.

Those long torturous nights, wondering how Seto was coping.

Those days I spent locked up in my room.

Those days that are painted clearly in my mind.

Those days after Gozaburo commited suicide.

Those days when I thought my brother would break down, because no matter how much he had hated Gozaburo, no matter how much he had loathed him with every fiber of his being, he hadn't wanted him to die.

At least, he hadn't wanted to see him die. I had seen too, I had seen death at an age where most children weren't even allowed to watch violent TV shows.

And then those other days, following my unstable brother.

Because he was all I had left.

Those days, looking out the window of my brother's Office and wondering how it was to jump.

If it was like flying.

Or if it was just falling.

Those days.

Because no matter what had happened, I am the little brother.

I know more than I should.

I know how it is to cry alone at night.

Too young to really understand that this was hell.

I know how it is to worry so much I feel like I'm going to explode.

I know how it is to be happy and supportive all the time.

I don't lie.

I really am happy, happy that my brother and I are better now. Happy that my life is better. Happy.

But sometimes I'm not happy, sometimes I just can't be happy.

Because no matter what, I was there when Gozaburo reigned.

And I suffered too.

THE END