Because I had to write something from this scene. Spoilers for S03E20.


Losing Self

Lucifer called her after hours on her emergency contact line. He rarely ever used the emergency contact line. F he wanted a sudden emergency session, he generally just showed up to her house, or office if she hadn't left. Either way, this was a new and frightening development, especially given his tone.

He sounded so tired. She knew he had trouble sleeping, especially after he felt he had been flying in his sleep. He had cancelled this week's session, which had worried her, but since he had gotten to the phone and cancelled instead of just not showing up, she took his absence as him needing time.

She was beginning to think that was very much the wrong thing to do.

So, with a healthy dose of worry and a tiny part of panic, she asked him where he was.

She blinked when his answer was his apartment. That he didn't feel he was safe to drive to her, but he needed to talk.

She was about to drink a nice glass of red wine before she curled up with a book in bed, but this actually did sound like an emergency. She had noticed that he was taking the whole therapy thing more seriously lately.

It took her a half hour to get to his place and she spent the entire time with her hands clenched tightly to the wheel of her car, hoping that she got there soon to find out what was wrong.

Lucifer's emergencies tended to end in someone being hurt. Especially if his family was involved.

She really hoped his family wasn't involved.

When she finally got to his apartment and the elevator doors opened to chaos, she gasped. "Lucifer? What happened?!" she asked, seeing the mess and the bad state he was in.

He turned his head in her direction and she sucked in her breath. He looked half dead on his feet from lack of sleep. Well, at least that proved he did need to sleep like humans did, at least he did while on Earth.

"Maze...she...she did this to me. It was Maze..."

Linda's first response was to shake her head, before reminding herself that Maze was a demon and was quite capable of violence. And it was just a trashed apartment, Lucifer himself didn't seem to be injured, just utterly exhausted.

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't drive anywhere. You look like you're about to fall asleep."

She was not expecting that to start making him cry, but it did. Slow, thin tears. No sobbing, no hitching, just tears. "She...she used my issues with Dad against me. Got me so worked up I can't sleep. Gaslighting me so much I'm afraid to close my eyes. Linda...she made me think it was real. Why..."

Linda went over to the couch and sat down beside him. "Why what?"

"Why am I still afraid to sleep?"

She had thought he'd ask why he would do that to him. Maybe Maze had answered that herself, she didn't know. But this was a huge mess. "She took away something really special to you on purpose, because she is putting the blame of everything going wrong on you. It's not your fault, but she needed someone to blame and she chose you."

He looked so lost and confused. Linda sighed. "She made you think your father had taken away your Free Will. Made you do things you didn't want and make it so you weren't even aware of it. And then, from the looks of it, framed it so you thought you actually were doing these things. It wasn't real, Lucifer. Your father had nothing to do with this."

He looked utterly devastated at hearing that, even though she was pretty sure part of him already knew. He needed to hear it though, just so he could get some much needed sleep. "It feels like I am losing myself. And all I want to do right now is sleep. I'm so tired, Linda. I want to sleep."

She smiled at him and patted the hand closest to hers. "Then sleep. I'll stay here and make sure nothing happens, okay?"

He looked so relieved at that. Why had no one else given any thought to this? It was clear he was too tired to work. Surely someone had checked on him , or he had made himself work to keep awake. No one must have stayed with him enough to care he got some uninterrupted sleep.

Well, regardless of other people, she was here now. She decided to leave him on the couch to sleep. He was probably wary of his bed right now, with how afraid he seemed to be of sleeping. So, instead of trying to get him up and coax him to the comfort his bed would be, she got him laid out on his couch and got a blanket to wrap around him.

"There you are. I'll stay here in the armchair and read. If your wings make an appearance, I'll wake you up, okay?"

He nodded slowly at her, his eyes already trying to close on him. Even after knowing she was here to help him get some good sleep, he was still fighting to stay awake.

"Lucifer, you can trust me to not let you go anywhere in your sleep. Close your eyes."

He did so. She was going to give him a calming exercise to help him move on to sleep more smoothly, but there was no need. He was soundly asleep by the time she opened her mouth to speak the words.

How long had he been awake to fall asleep just by closing his eyes?

Either way, she was there and she would stay up all night to look after him. She would have to call her patients tomorrow to cancel her early morning appointments, as there was no way she would be sleeping the whole day away and she knew she would need a nap to tide her over for late morning, and afternoon appointments.

Still, if this was the only way to encourage him that it was safe to sleep once again, she would do it.