Sub-Zero's perfect woman.
A test created by Raiden®. For the protectors and champions of Earthrealm.
Answers are given by Kuai Liang (Sub-Zero, the new Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei), threatened by Cassie Cage, his girlfriend.
Important Questions.
1. Are you single?
/Cassie holds a gun next to Sub-Zero's head/
□ – Yes.
□ – Yes, and I like it that way.
□ – I am still looking for the special one.
■ – Nope, sorry, I have a girlfriend.
2. Do you like women?
■ – Yes, I do.
□ – I am bisexual.
□ – I prefer men.
3. Do you find any of the women
from the Mortal Kombat Tournaments attractive?
□ – Yes, all of them.
□ – Some of them are pretty hot.
■ – I participated in the Tournaments to fight, not to look at boobs.
/Sub-Zero: That's why Johnny was there../
/Cassie: Ha, he knows what humor is!/
□ – Haven't noticed anyone.
Her Looks.
4. What is your perfect woman's weight?
□ – Skinny.
■ – Normal weight/fit.
□ – Curvy, with beautiful shapes.
□ – Muscular.
5. How tall would you like her to be?
/Sub-Zero: How tall are you Cassie?/
/Cassie: Aww, I'm 5'7. *wink*/
□ – Does it matter?
□ – Above 5'9 (175 cm)
■ – 5'2/5'7 (160/170cm)
□ – Under 5'2, maybe 5'0 (155/160cm)
6. What is her hair color?
■ – Dark. Like black, dark brown, etc.
■ – Light. Blond or golden brown.
□ – Something crazy, like electric green or pink.
□ – White.
■ – Red as the fire.
/Cassie, triggered and ready to shoot Sub-Zero in the face: WHAT?!/
/Sub-Zero, gulping: What's wrong with liking more than one hair color?/
/Cassie, popping her bubble gum: Be careful, Grandmaster.
The next thing I pop won't be my gum./
7. What is her hairstyle like?
■ – Short and punky.
□ – Shoulder length.
□ – Medium.
□ – Very long and thick.
8. What color are her eyes? /up to two answers/
□ – Green.
□ – White.
■ – Blue, like mine.
□ – Chocolate brown.
□ – Black.
■ – Irrelevant.
9. What is her skin color?
■ –White as the snow.
□ – Dark like chocolate.
□ – She is with an Outworld tan.
■ – I don't really care.
10. What kind of lips does she have?
□ – Full lips.
□ – Small.
■ – Normal.
Her Character.
11. What are her hobbies? /up to four answers/
■ – Training and improving her fighting skills.
□ – Reading.
■ – Doing some kind of a sport.
□ – Playing musical instruments and/or singing.
□ – Shopping, doing her make-up.
□ – Cooking.
□ – She doesn't have any hobbies.
■ – Partying.
■ – Stalking me.
/Sub-Zero, sighing: More like threatening me./
/Cassie: Oh, I thought that turned you on, Kuai./
/Sub-Zero: You do realize that Kuai is my last name, don't you?/
/Cassie: Are you kidding with me?!/
/Sub-Zero, with a little devilish smile on his face: Maybe.../
12. What does she like doing in her free time? /up to four answers/
■ – Taking selfies.
□ – Going for long and romantic walks.
□ – Writing poetry.
■ – Bed exercises with me.
/Cassie: He-he, you know me so well./
■ – Protecting Earthrealm.
■ – Annoy me.
/Cassie: Are you sure you want to give that answer?/
/Sub-Zero: Well, it says 'up to four answers', so I am simply following the rules.
What would Johnny say in this situation 'Don't hate the player, hate the game'?/
/Cassie: Why do you keep bringing up my dad in all this?/
/Sub-Zero, stuttering: He will end my existence if he finds out about us./
□ – Studying.
□ – Watching movies/tv shows.
13. What type of personality does she have? /up to three answers/
□ – Calm, distant and a bit cold.
■ – Witty, strong, brave.
□ – Funny and romantic.
□ – Carefree but a bit irresponsible.
■ – Reliable and really, really smart.
□ – Got the brain of a chicken, but her beauty makes up for everything.
14. Is she older than or younger than you?
■ – Younger, maybe two-three years.
/Sub-Zero: Somehow Raiden misspelled '20 years younger'./
□ – Doesn't matter.
□ – She's one or two years older.
□ – She's my age.
15. What is her occupation?
■ – She is a warrior and a protector of Earthrealm.
□ – She's a doctor.
□ – She is a housewife.
□ – Still looking for a job.
□ – She is a princess.
16. Does she have a motto? /choose one answer/
□ – I suppose.
■ – I hear her say 'You just got Caged' occasionally.
□ – None that I'm aware of.
□ – I'm sure she has one involving selfies and popping bubblegums.
17. From 1 to 10 how much does she love you?
□ – 0, she hates my guts.
□ – 1 to 4, she's ok with me.
□ – 4 to 7, in love with me.
□ – 7 to 10, head over heels.
■ – 10 to 15, she's obsessed with me.
18. And how much do YOU love her?
□ – I don't have time for this thing called love.
■ – I'm crazy about her but won't admit it.
/Cassie: Awww, is that right, Grandmaster?/
/Sub-Zero: Cassandra, you keep forgetting that there is
a loaded gun resting on my right temple…/
/Cassie: Sucks to be you then./
/Sub-Zero: I will allow you to suck on something else
when we finish with this test./
□ – She's alright I guess.
□ – I am not sure.
Your relationship.
19. Where would you take her on your first date? /two answers/
■ – My chambers to show her my Ice Dagger.
/Cassie: The modern way of saying it is 'Netflix and chill'./
/Sub Zero: I am chill alright, but what is this thing Netflix?
Is it a special American dish?/
/Cassie: Haha, yeaaah, suure it is, Grandmaster.
I'll show you what Netflix and chill is tonight./
□ – Theater or opera.
□ – Romantic picnic.
□ – Café or a restaurant.
□ – In a park or a zoo.
■ – Somewhere beautiful, like China or Japan.
□ – Nowhere…
20. She seems to be upset.
What would you do if she runs away or starts crying? /two answers/
□ – I will hug her and tell her that everything will be alright.
■ – Destroy whoever or whatever made her upset.
/Cassie: That's right! No one can mess with the girl of the Grandmaster...
by the way, there is this guy that grabbed my ass while we were sparring./
/Sub-Zero, raising an eyebrow: Who is the imbecile you speak of?
I will dispose of him immediately!/
■ – Listen to her and comfort her.
□ – I'd probably stand there like an idiot and do nothing.
□ – I don't know.
21. The most beautiful woman in the world comes to you and says she loves you.
Your reaction will be…
■ – 'No, you don't. You don't even know me that well.'
□ – 'I love you too!'
□ – I don't know what my reaction will be.
□ – I will probably freeze her and walk away before she melts.
22. What is your favorite sex position?
/Sub-Zero: Why do I have the feeling that it was you who created the test, Cassandra?/
/Cass: Me?! More like the Netherrealm has completely corrupted Raiden's mind
if he's interested in asking such questions./
/Sub-Zero: Hm, perhaps./
□ – Doggy, *woof woof*.
□ – I've got 99 problems, but 69 ain't one of them.
□ – Cassie as a cowgirl.
□ – The classical missionary.
■ – All of the above?
23. You are going to be a father…
□ – Apparently, someone was not using protection.
■ – Say again?
/Cass: Uh, Grandmaster... I have something to tell you. It's about the last time we did it./
/Sub-Zero, his eyes widening: Is it somehow related to this question or can it wait?/
/Cassie: The thing is... it's VERY related to this question. I'm pregnant./
■ – *commits harakiri*
/Cassie: Nooo, it was a joke, I'm joking! Sub-Zero!
Wake up, Kuai or Liang or whatever your name is!
Grandmaster, you have to finish the test!/
□ – I can't have children.
□ – I'm too young/old to be a father.
The Test Ends Here.
According to your answers, the perfect woman for you is .. *drumrolls* .. Cassandra Cage!
This test was brought to you by your friendly Earthrealm protector Raiden, The Thunder God. Thank you for participating.
Is there anything you'd like to add?
- Sub-Zero: To be honest, I'm curious to see what the answers of the rest would be.
Cassie, undressing: I can show you mine right now.