Chapter 1: Wake Up Calls and Realizations

Title: Growing Up

Author: southernguh18

Summary: Garrett/Bella. New Moon AU, Bella wakes up from her haze with a realization that life goes on. She intends to leave the small town gossip of Forks behind and make her own path in the world, sans drama. But fate has other plans for Bella; after all she is a danger-magnet.

Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction story, so obviously I do not own the Twilight franchise, otherwise Breaking Dawn would have been a totally different story.

Warnings: Edward and Alice bashing. This is a rated M story, so those under the age of eighteen should not be reading this; there will probably be sex and cussing. Also if you bothered to read the summary you would know that it's not exactly cannon couples.

EDITED: 10/22/16

Chapter One: Wake-up Calls and Realizations

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Renee. She's been like this for months. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep. When she finally does fall asleep, she'll wake the dead with her nightmares. I think it would be best if she goes to live with you in Jacksonville." Charlie signed heavily as he spoke to his ex-wife as if the subject of their conversation wasn't in the room staring blankly at the wall.

"Bella, honey, Bella, look at me." I turned and gazed at them vacantly, distantly cataloging their appearances. Charlie looked haggard and worried, his normally kempt hair untidy vaguely reminded me of him. He looked much older than his age of forty years and three months. Renee looked unsettled and tired. Her mouth was pressed together and eyebrows wrinkled in concern as she looked at her once vibrant daughter.

"I'm here to take you to Jacksonville, baby. Charlie's doesn't know how to handle you," Renee explained softly. I knew my face must have shown my conflicted emotions to this announcement as Renee asked, "What's the matter?"

"Does anybody want me? No one cares about me, no one wants me." I sobbed. I finally aired my concerns –Renee always knew when something was wrong with me—and heard Renee's sharp intake of breath.

"Bella! Never doubt that we love you! I'm sorry if it seemed as if Charlie was trying to get rid of you, but that's not the case. He doesn't know how to handle a teenager; you know he's never been good with emotions. I don't want you to ever doubt that you are wanted. You are one of the best things that ever happened to us!" She said passionately as Charlie nodding along with her.

"What did that Cullen boy say to you?" Charlie growled, "I'm gonna tear that boy apart. Both me and Renee love you! Don't forget those friends of yours either, both Angela Weber and that Newton boy call at least once a week. People care about you, I care about you. Think of it this way, the day you disappeared over half the town and most of the reservation kids went to search for you. I'm not trying to send you away because I don't want you. I thought you would prefer to be with your mother and away from here. I guess I should have asked you…" he trailed off and looked awkwardly away from me.

"I-I think I want to stay here," I mumbled hopefully, wanting to stay here even if I was constantly reminded of him-the one who left me.

"Okay, but promise me that you'll eat, baby, it ain't healthy to eat nothing." Renee said, "And Charlie said your grades have been going down lately so maybe you should improve them." I nodded, maybe if I focused on that I could forget those cruel words that broke my heart.

I exhaled heavily as I waded my way through the mass of human bodies heading toward the cafeteria. Since the talk with my parents, I'd made an effort in school, but this last week had been hell. Everything reminded me of them. The lunch table where we sat with his siblings. The lab table we shared in Biology. Even seeing Mike Newton's face made me remember him being jealous of Mike. I missed the haze I had been floating in, it was so much easier to just block out the world and succumb to my heartache. But after being confronted with my parents' concern, I knew I could not do that to them because they DO care about me.

Finally, I came across my table in the cafeteria. Lauren, Ben, Jessica, Eric, and Mike are engaged in a conversation about some idiotic movie. For the first time this week Angela wasn't at the table, usually she'd be sitting with Ben indulgently listening to him prattle about ninja movies and kung-fu.

"Hey, Jess, where's Angela?" I asked the resident gossiper, the group quieted as they still tend to do whenever I speak. They haven't treated me the same since I retreated into myself for a couple of months.

Lauren laughed condescendingly, "Probably crying her eyes out in the bathroom," she said with a toothy smile. 'She looks like a crocodile,' I thought, 'and acts like one too.'

"Why? What happened?" I asked with concern. Angela was the sweetest girl I'd ever met. She continued to try and help me while I was not all there in the last months. Lauren made some catty comment about Ed-him leaving me because I was boring and ugly once and Angela reacted so quickly in my defense.

"She just found out that Ben moved on. See, Lauren and Ben have been talking for months and decided to get together last week. But she found out before he could tell her. She caught him and Lauren together right before lunch. I think I saw her run to the bathroom, and she's probably crying..." Jessica looked delighted to spread gossip.

'God,' Bella thought, 'How can she be so cruel!'

"That's messed up. Although, I always knew you were a conniving bitch Lauren. But Angela's by far the sweetest person in this Podunk town and you treating her like shit just shows everyone your true colors. By the way Jess I have to ask why you get so much joy from gossiping about her when I know for a fact that she's been a better friend to you then you deserve. Who was it that comforted you when Mike left you for the third time? Oh yeah…Angela! God, you five are such wastes of space." And then I marched off to find Angela.

"Ang? Angela?" I called softly; it didn't look like anyone was in here, "Are you here?"

"Bella? What are you doing here?" her hoarse voice sounded surprised, I guess even she wasn't used to me making an active attempt to be social.

"I heard what happened from that bitch Jessica; do you want to talk about it? I know I haven't been the best of friends lately, but I can always lend an ear. One thing I've learned is that it's good to get things off your chest." I told her. It was true, after my mini-therapy session with Renee I'd had a much easier time, it helped to know that someone else had knew what was plaguing me.

After we determined that I wanted to stay in Forks, my mother asked me just what that "boy" said to make me believe I was unwanted. Renee was so offended by the story that she decided stayed in Forks for the following week because she didn't trust that Charlie wasn't going to go find Edward and murder him for hurting his baby girl.

"Um-I-I don't feel comfortable talking about this here." Angela opened the metal stall door, her face was blotchy and her eyes looked puffy and red.

"You know what? It's a Friday afternoon and we're seniors so let's go out somewhere. I know you don't want to stick around and see Lauren whoring herself out. We could drive to Port Angeles, that's about an hour or so of uninterrupted talking. As much as it pains me to say it I think we both could use some retail therapy." I said. I figured she desperately needs to get away from school for the day.

"You hate shopping." Angela replied, "…But I'll go if-if you promise to tell me your story," she finished and I stopped to consider it. What could it hurt? I needed to tell someone the details; I'd only told my parents the bare minimum. Of course, it wasn't like I could tell Angela everything either. I could imagine that conversation:

'Sorry about Ben. But Edward was a vampire who wanted to suck my blood 'cause I smelt really good. He called my heroin, isn't that sweet? Then, some nomadic vampires attacked me and I was injured. And then Jasper attacked me during my birthday party and a week later Edward left. Oh, did you know Alice can see the future, Jasper can manipulate emotions, and Edward reads minds.'

'Cool! Now sit down, Bella, while I call the men with the white coats, okay?'

"Okay, let's go," I reached down and grabbed her bags as she sputtered. Apparently she expected that I would protest a lot more.

"Wait! What if we get caught?" She asked.

"We won't, besides everyone knows about Lauren and Ben and I guarantee Jessica spread around that I went after you. They'll think we're in the bathroom. Now come on." I grinned; it felt great to leave school early.

I took my car home so it wouldn't be left in the parking lot after school hours and arouse suspicion since we were taking Angela's Mazda to Port Angeles. I quickly scribbled a note to Charlie and grabbed a sizeable amount of money just as Angela pulled into the drive. I'd been slowly saving money for years and I'd gotten a job at Newton's Outfitters a month ago.

"Alright now spill," I commanded as soon as we got on the open road, "You need to talk and I'll listen."

"Where should I start? Beginning of course, sorry that's a dumb question." Angela looked frazzled.

"Calm down, Ang. I'm not gonna judge you; just tell me whatever you want, okay?" I told her.

"Okay, so okay, I know where to start. Alright, Ben had been acting really weird the last couple of months and he'd been pressuring me to have sex. He was really insistent and I finally gave in about a month ago. It was awful. I mean, he was done in like the first few seconds and then he rolled over and was like, 'Was that as good for you as it was for me?' Obviously it wasn't, I didn't even have an orgasm! And he has a tiny dick, like really small. We had sex a few more times and still nothing.

So after that failure he kept pressuring me and I told him that I had a migraine or I was sick every time. He got frustrated and told me that I was a bad lay. We argued for awhile and then I told him that it wasn't me that was a sucky lay, it was him. I guess that was when he got with Lauren because he suddenly stopped begging me. God, what a whore!" she growled, "I can't stand her; she's slept with every guy in this area. She probably has thirty STDs and I hope that slut gave Ben one, " she growled.

"Whoa there tiger! Take a breath." I laughed, "But I agree. He's an asshole, but I'm glad he showed his true colors. Its better he did it now rather than later. I mean, he could have cheated after you guys got married if your relationship would have lasted that long." I told her, "Besides, look on the bright side, now you don't have to watch those awful ninja or martial arts movies anymore."

"Thank God for that! I hope he makes Lauren watch them as they have awful sex on his Spiderman bedspread." She sneered and turned to me, "Alright, that's enough of that, what about you guys?"

I was clueless of where to begin, "Um…alright. I-um-yeah… I don't know where to start, it's so confusing. Wait, okay, so after my eighteenth birthday, Ed-he began to act really distant and cold towards me. A week later he came over after school and asked me to come on a walk with him. So we went just into the woods where we could still see the house and he started to talk. He told me that the Cullen's were leaving and that he didn't want me. That he never loved me and that I was no good for him." I broke off, desperately fighting off fruitless tears. I'd known that it Edward was on a whole different plane from me. He was beautiful, highly educated, and had more than a lifetime's worth of experience, although not in relationships. While I was nothing, plain-Jane, a boring high school student. The only perk in our "relationship" was that he got silence from the mundane thoughts of human teenagers.

"What a bastard. He didn't deserve you! Gah, I guess this is the one time that Jessica was right about something. I guess it had to happen sometime," Angela scowled, "he really did think he was better than everyone else. I can't believe he said that shit to you. You are way too good for such an asshole. I mean, you have to be one of the most genuine people I know. Why in the world does that jerk get to think he is better than you? I mean the only thing he's got going for him is looks and money."

"Both of which make the world go round," I commented dryly. "But, I don't know. It's complicated…Looking back, it wasn't a healthy relationship. Basically it I was throwing myself at him and he was trying to run away. You know, we never did more than kiss, hell we never rounded second base. Every time we got close to doing more than a peck on the lips he'd stop us, and let me tell you that it was a major blow to my self-esteem. I guess he just kept me around to get the whores of Forks to leave him alone. I mean it was like he was just humoring me, like I was a pet. Fuck, I was just a pet to him. He let his sister dress me up and he was constantly monitoring everything I was doing." That realization made me stop short. For months I'd been pouring over every detail of our time together trying to see the signs—the reason why Edward would bother with me—but I'd just realized what was really going on. He'd kept me close so he could savor my blood. He really never cared about me, it was all a farce. He told me so in the woods, but it had just hit home. I was a pet to him and the rest of the Cullens. A play-toy, something to be amused by with the added bonus of an enticing scent.

"That's messed up. I thought I had it bad with Ben and Lauren, but this takes the cake. Why did he think he could get away with toying with you like that? Is he incapable of feelings?" Angela was glaring darkly; her hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that they were turning a purple hue.

"Probably because I let him, I was so in love that I let him get away with anything he wanted. I was such a push-over; I would have done anything for him. And he knew it. God, he knows the effects he has on women and he's not afraid to exploit it. He could get me to do anything with just one look. I feel so stupid, I let him control everything. He decided who I hung out with, what I wore, what I ate. Everything." I sighed despondently. I had always made fun of women who were entirely dependent on their significant other, and now I had become one. Karma, I suppose.

"Oh wait there's more. So remember how I told you how we went for a walk? Well, he also told me that I would forget him eventually and then he just walked off. Well, after a couple of minutes I tried to find him, and that's how I got lost in the woods that night. But that's not the weird part, I got home and found out that he'd forged my handwriting and left a note for Charlie. And then when I got in my room I found that he had taken a picture of us and the CD he made for me. I guess he wanted to make it so I would forget him. But he came into my house while I wasn't there!" I explained, I couldn't tell her that Edward used to routinely come into my room and spend the night with me, but I need to talk about the break-up. Besides, it's not like Angela would guess he was a vampire because I told her that he broke into my house and took my stuff.

"You mean he took your stuff, broke your heart, and broke into your house. Bella, that's not normal! I knew he was strange but dang that just takes the cake. You should be glad you aren't with him anymore. Obviously there's some screws lose in his head, for one thing he broke into a cop's house and he thought you'd just forget him like that? I mean, that would make you remember it more just because it's so weird." Angela exclaimed.

We pulled into the desolate mall parking lot after a lot of routine 'bashing of the exes'. It turns out that sweet Angela has quite a mouth on her, who knew? Then, we started to plan out our little shopping adventure. Unlike Alice, Angela actually took my opinion into consideration and we decided to go into the more affordable shops instead of the high-end boutiques.

"Bella, this shade goes so well with your complexion. Oh, and those jeans are to die for…C'mon, there on sale. And those shirts you were eyeing are buy one get one free. You know a shopping trip isn't successful unless you leave the store with more than one bag in your hands." Angela coaxed gently, she'd quickly learned that I didn't know anything about fashion or clothes and tried to help. Someone really should have told her that you can't help the hopeless.

We ended up getting three outfits a piece and each a pair of shoes at the mall.

"Hey Bella," Angela started hesitantly after we'd just gotten into the car to go back to Forks. "I noticed that you really don't like spending money, I know a great thrift store over a few blocks if you want to check it out. Mom and I used to go there and try on wacky out fits, but they usually have pretty cute stuff."

"Actually that sounds right up my alley." I smiled, "I just prefer not to spend a whole bunch of money on clothes that I'm eventually gonna throw away. It just feels like a waste of money, you know? I don't want you to think that I'm poor or anything, it's just that I've worked since I was able to and I've always helped my mom with her bills so it just seems kind of wasteful to spend so much money on clothes when I could be saving it for things I actually need." I explained.

"Oh! Bella, I wasn't trying to make it sound like I thought you didn't have any money, I just thought that you would like it better than being at an actual mall." Angela rushed to explain, her face worried. "I actually agree with you on the money situation. I mean today we only spent thirty dollars on clothes a piece and ten on shoes. Can you say bargain? That's definitely getting the bang for your buck."

"Its fine. I didn't take it that way, I just wanted to explain." I laughed, "You know, Alice always made me go to these really expensive boutiques and bought these ridiculous clothes. She never listened to my opinions on the clothes. Did you know that she bought all the clothes for the C-Cullen kids and she never let them wear the same outfit twice? Talk about wasteful. I swear they had to have more money than God to put up with her shopping addiction." I blurted out, "God, I'm just running at the mouth, sorry. Anyway, what I was trying to say was that this shopping experience was actually pretty great, it's nice to have someone actually help me shop instead of throwing clothes at me and pushing me into a dressing room."

Angela grinned, "I'm glad, it's been really fun and it's about to get better. Thrift store shopping is awesome!" She laughed as we pulled up to a strip mall.

We walked in and Angela immediately barreled her way to the clothes, pulling out the gaudiest outfits I'd ever seen in my life. She grinned at me mischievously and announced that we had to try them on. So I relented and we spent the next hour finding the ugliest outfits possible for each other. I can't imagine who would buy a leopard print jumper that had a fuzzy green boa attached to it.

We actually came out of the store with a couple of t-shirts and sweatshirts each. Angela grinned, "Perfect for grunge day."

"Grunge day?" I asked, "Is the school having another theme Friday?"

"Haha, no." She giggled, "it's that day of the week when you don't feel like dressing up so you wear some sweats, a headband with your hair in a ponytail, and you say 'fuck it.'"

"Oh, so every day for me." I smirked.

"Correct." Angela grinned. We spent the remainder of the ride home talking about anything that came to our minds. Then we proceeded to roll the windows down and blast the radio while singing awful break-up songs. All too soon we pulled up to Charlie's house.

"Well, thanks for the day, Ang." I sighed, I was actually sad for it to end, "I had fun, heck you might have made me like shopping."

"We should do it again." Angela laughed, "Next weekend?"

"Definitely. I guess I'll see you at school on Monday." I sighed. Thankfully we choose to skip school on a Friday afternoon.

"Yep, bye girl! Ugh I have to see Ben then." She sighed.

"Well you got that really cute shirt from the mall today and those skinny jeans…maybe you should show him how much better you feel without him?" I smirked.

"Oh hell yeah!" She giggled.

Charlie was in the living room watching some kind of ballgame on the TV, as usual, when I walked in.

"So, I see you went shopping?" He commented.

"Yeah, with Angela Webber, she's Reverend Webber's daughter. I left a note."

"I read it." He grumbled, "It's nice to see you hang out with your friends again.

"Okay…Well, I'm going to go upstairs now." I said and proceeded to walk to my room and started to put the clothing away. As I placed the clothes into my closet, I looked at the bags of clothes at the back of the closet. Everything that Alice bought me on her crazy shopping trips.

I smirked, "Well, I guess we have a reason to go back to the thrift store. Alice would die if she knew what I'm gonna do."

So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I'm not much of a writer, but I'm trying!

Um, I'm pretty sure that the posting is going to be sporadic. I'm starting the second term of my senior year and am pretty busy so we'll see how this goes. But I do have the whole story mapped out, so not to worry I will complete it…eventually.

The next two or so chapters will be Bella and Angela's senior year and then we'll move on to college where the juicy part of the story happens, so stay tuned.

Feel free to criticize (constructively) I know my writing needs some work so any help will be appreciated! Thanks for reading!