The Wonderful Wizard of Oda

OR

In Which Alastair Loses All Respect and Credibility as an Author

Cyclones and Witches

Grinning, he palmed the mandarin orange happily. Luffy tossed it up and down in the air before he started to peel it, sitting cross-legged where he had just committed one of his most heinous of crimes. It seemed that he had not expected to be caught in the act, and he didn't seem to pay any mind to the shadow looming over him.

Nami bared her fangs, and said, "So, I see that you're hungry, Luffy."

He froze, his eyes bulging before he shoved the newly peeled orange into his mouth, and swallowed it, "Ah, nope!"

"Nice try," she said, pointing to the leftover peels right in front of him – she didn't even bother to tell him his fingers were slightly orange and sticky with some juice.

Waving a sticky hand, Luffy said, "That wasn't me!"

"Who else is here to-?" She stopped herself when the Thousand Sunny lurched, and she stumbled a few steps before she fell completely into the grass.

After Sunny was no longer rocking as harshly, she stood, straightening her clothes a bit – a ruffled blue-checkered skirt with a white blouse – before she went across the deck with Luffy close behind. Nami barely registered that it was a cyclone beside their ship before they were sucked up with a pull that knocked her head against Luffy's own.

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Luffy blinked up at the sky, squinting at how bright everything was before he sat up with a lurch, and searched for Nami, recalling the cyclone with abrupt clarity.

"Nami! Oi, Nami!"

When he got up, he noticed with a frown that Sunny wasn't rocking with the lull of the ocean waves, and he found himself going to the railing instead to look out. He blinked, and then rubbed his eyes before he looked again.

Deciding that Sunny sitting on land instead of in the water wasn't too big of a concern of his at the moment, he ran across the deck, glancing around for any of his friends. Spotting Nami's form on the deck near the door that led into the cabin area, he knelt at her side, and checked her briefly for injuries before gently shaking her shoulders, "Nami?"

Her eyes opened almost immediately, and he relaxed when she sat up tiredly, and said, "Luffy …? Ah! Luffy, there's a cyclone!"

"It's gone," he said.

Almost not comprehending, she stared at him for a moment before she glanced about, and said, "It is? But … Wait, where is everyone? Are they okay?"

"I didn't see them on deck," he said before he got up to go down into the cabin to search. Not more than a minute later, he heard Nami shriek, so he ran back only to see her gaping over the rail.

When he came up, she turned to him, pointing out at the land, "When the hell did we land on an island!? The ship better be okay or Franky will pitch a fit." She paused in her tirade long enough to catch her breath, and she then stamped her foot, "And where the hell are we!?"

The ship shook then, making Nami scream in surprise before she clutched at the railing to steady herself. As Sunny started moving toward the shore, Luffy looked over the railing only to smile widely.

"Wow! Nami, Nami! It's a giant!"

Indeed, for while the navigator had been ranting, neither of the two had seemed to take note of the colossal man that had been standing beside the Thousand Sunny – he had been completely still until he had elected to pick it up.

The giant smiled at the two, his huge voice booming as he said, "Greetings, little people!"

"Do – Dorry!?" Nami regained her mental equilibrium, and pointed up at the familiar face – though devoid of his helmet and armor. "Are we on Little Garden? How could a cyclone toss us all the way back here?"

"Ah?" He scratched his head before he sat cross-legged in front of the ocean, but did not yet settle the ship into the water. "Little Garden? Little lady, this isn't Little Garden."

"Then … did – did you win your battle? Is this Elbaf?"

Dorry laughed with a toss of his head, rocking the ship harshly while Nami clung to the rail and Luffy laughed with him. He said, "No, little lady. This isn't Elbaf or Little Garden at all. This place is called the Land of Munchkins."

She cast a deadpan look at the giant before she said, "You're kidding me."

Luffy only laughed, and patted her back, "He's funny, huh?"

"None of this is funny!"

"Relax," Dorry said, setting the ship into familiar, rocking waves. "This is a day to celebrate, little humans! You have destroyed the Wicked Witch of the East Blue that has reigned over our land for years."

"We did?" Nami looked past the giant to where they had landed before she blanched at the sight. "I … I see …"

Luffy grinned broadly, and said, "Ew! Ha ha! This is cool, giant-guy! Are we going to have a party now?"

"I wouldn't suggest acting so leisurely," someone said from the bow of the ship, and Luffy jerked his head toward the speaker before he was smiling wider.

"Robin!"

The woman smiled gently, and said, "So you know me. Though not of what you have just done. How interesting that is, young travelers."

"Eh …" Nami frowned, and crossed her arms before she said, "Luffy, I don't think we're on the Grand Line anymore."

"Huh? What do you mean? That's Robin, right?"

Dorry snorted, sounding slightly offended, "That's the Good Witch of the North Blue. You can't just call her by her name so familiarly."

"Sure, I can," he said. "Me and Robin are friends! Right, Robin?"

Robin tilted her head just slightly before her smile became more tender and amiable, and she said, "Perhaps in another time. In the meantime, however, it is a pleasure to meet you, but I come bearing bad news."

Puckering his lips, Luffy said, "Well, that's not very nice."

Making a smooth gesture to Nami's feet, the two looked down only to balk in surprise at the sight of glittering silver shoes on her feet. Robin said, "Those are the Silver Slippers of the Wicked Witch of the East Blue that you just killed. They are highly coveted by the Wicked Witch of the West Blue. Please, keep them safe until you reach the Emerald City."

Nami's eyes – having been sparkling in wonder at the magnificent glow of her shoes – diverted their attention to the Good Witch with a start of shock. She said, waving her hands in front of her chest, "Wait a minute. What's going on here? Why am I guarding silver footwear? And …" her eyes lit up again, "Wait! There's an Emerald City? You mean there's a city made of emeralds!?"

The Good Witch of the North Blue raised an eyebrow before she smiled in an understanding way, and said, "Ah, yes, yes. It's made of emeralds. Please, take the slippers to the Emerald City where the Wizard of Oda presides. He may help you both return home."

"Made of emeralds," Nami almost sang, and she took Luffy's hand with a bright smile for him. He had to avert his gaze so as not to become blinded by the golden berry signs in her eyes. "Let's have an adventure, Luffy!"

He cheered, always happy when she actually wanted to go out and do something with him, and he said, "Okay!"

"Beware though," Robin said. "The way to the Emerald City is fraught with danger and peril." She held out an Eternal Pose with 'Emerald City' written on it, and Nami took it. "The Yellow Line is not a route for any mortal to travel, and out there you will be subject to the Wicked Witch of the West Blue. The slippers you wear are powerful, and she wants to take them for her own devious ends. This journey is not for the weak of heart."

"Yeah, yeah," she said, "I'm sure. I think that Luffy and I will be fine though. We'll just be on our way now. Thanks for telling us about all the treasure that's here!"

"Treasure?"

Luffy stiffened in alarm when he heard the new voice, and his eyes become wide, appearing noticeably sick. He turned around to face the gorgeous woman standing behind them, and blanched in recognition. "Alvida!?"

As with Robin and Dorry, Alvida didn't seem to recognize either of them, but her eyes did light up at the sight of him – some idea between her and the other Alvida taking root. She said, winking coyly at him, "Oh, my. This is a treasure." She came forward, and Luffy stood between her and Nami protectively even when his stomach flopped objectionably. Touching his shoulder lightly, she trailed it down across his chest to his upper stomach, "What a fine specimen."

"Oi!" Nami slapped her hand away, and then shook her fist at the Wicked Witch. "Just what do you think you're doing? Who are you?"

"How rude! And … how could you …?" Alvida said, glaring down at her before her eyes seemed to catch sight of the silver slippers. "The slippers!" To Luffy's relief, she backed away considerably, "On you, they must be negating my powers." Her eyes began to glint, "I must have them. I'll get them … and your little man too!"

"Oi! Leave me out of this!"

With a short huff, Nami just wagged a finger at Alvida, "He's not my man, but he's not going anywhere either, so just back off, witch."

"Witch!?" She touched her cheek, "I am the most beautiful woman in all the seas! How dare you call me such a thing."

"Well," Nami said, tilting her head in confusion, "isn't that what you are?"

"I am no ordinary hag or witch, little girl. I am the Wicked Witch of the West Blue! Get it right next time."

Rolling her eyes, she took Luffy's arm, and said, "Whatever. I have some treasure hunting to do, so just keep out of our way."

"I can't do that if I want that man of yours or those Silver Slippers," she said, though she held herself back from attacking, obviously trying to figure out how to take both at that precise moment. Alvida didn't seem to have any exact plan however, and instead said, "I will have them – at any cost. Just you wait!"

The woman vanished in a flash of green smoke, and Nami and Luffy coughed harshly at the acrid smell. Waving his hand to get rid of the stench, Luffy looked at Robin, and said, "Can we leave now? One Alvida is enough for me."

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I … I have no excuse other than that my rampant imagination has no limits. XP Please, please, please, forgive me, L. Frank Baum! Also, for anyone reading this to see if I'm (still) sane, I have not actually watched the movie in years and it's also been a long while since I read the book. As such, I can and will warp stuff from here on in to suit the needs of the story.

For fans of my work, this isn't a part of the ALPTN arc at all. It's just for fun and … and whatever the hell else that I was thinking when I wrote it. :D It is an LxN romance though! Never fear!

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