The 'HQ' Affair

"Ah. Good ole U.N.C.L.E. HQ. There's no place like home."

"This is nothing like home."

"Aren't we the crabby one today?"

"Napoleon? What did we just get out of?"

"A car."

"And before that?"

"An airplane."

"And how long was the plane trip from London?"

"Close to eight hours. Come on - time for us to get to the infirm - ah. We are more than a little sore from all that time in unyielding seats, I take it?"

"I cannot speak for your level of soreness, but think of where you were wounded and then consider where I was wounded."

"Right. Stupid question, tovarich. Not like you could follow the doctor recommendation of laying on your stomach on the plane."

"I am just in hopes that the doctor will be willing to administer medication for sleep."

"Why? You don't normally have trouble dozing off, chum."

"I did not want him to administer it to me."

"Love you too, partner."

"What is there not to love?"

"Crabby, modest and blonde - what woman could resist you?"

"There are those that seem to manage that feat quite well."

"Ah, the trouble with today's culture. People just don't take the time needed to develop appreciation for tastes that fall outside of the accepted norms."

"You said something similar about those who fail to appreciate the subtleties of cheeses and caviar."

"Equating appreciating you to appreciating food seems proper somehow."

"I suppose I could live with being thought of as an acquired taste. What I could live without is the infirmary. I would have preferred to have gone home to recover."

"You think Wellington would be willing to wait on you hand and foot?"

"No. But since I do not care to be waited on, that works out to my advantage. My primary need is for sleep and, as a cat, Wellington highly approves of leisurely naps. Napoleon? Now that we have arrived, might I impose on you to run interference?"

"Regarding?"

"If anyone points us to a waiting room and suggests that I take a seat, I will not be responsible for my actions. And Mister Waverly is still a bit testy over the last member of the Medical staff that I put into a wall."

"That's hardly fair. That nurse was warned in advance that approaching our beds without making sure we were awake first was an extremely bad idea. But I will endeavor to keep the Medical personnel from needing treatment more than you do."

"I am sure they will appreciate as much as I do."

"Hey, what are partners for?"