WE ARE WHO WE ARE
Chapter One
BANG BANG
Draco awoke with a start, cursing loudly when he discovered the source of his rude awakening. Quickly he jumped from the couch to the open window and closed the shutters with a resounding click.
"Fucking Hell!"
It was a particularly cold winter, and a small pile of snow had gathered on the floor under the window. Draco shivered and glared at the window. The Shrieking Shack had saved him from a lot but it wouldn't be much use to him if anyone spotted him inside. He had been in hiding for 6 months and was growing restless. Knowing he would never be able to fall back asleep he started pacing to keep warm.
Draco Malfoy was not the man he used to be. The war was over, Potter had won of course. And although he would never express gratitude, Draco was relieved. His father was in Azkaban and he was finally free. Well, as free as he could be with the whole wizarding world looking for him. The Ministry still believed him to be a death eater at large, and the remaining death eaters believed him to be a traitor.
It was the middle of the war when Draco finally realized that blood status was nothing. Wizards from both sides were dying. The pure were not stronger than the unpure. His entire childhood was a lie, his beliefs unfounded. Draco sneered, still he wouldn't have done anything different. Slytherin was a house of character, where he belonged, and he would do anything he needed to in order to benefit himself. Bloody Gryffindors and their bravery, look where that got most of them. Killed.
Draco's upbringing had hardened him so that nothing evoked sympathy from him. Even though he had wanted the war to end, he wouldn't risk fighting on the side he knew was right if it meant his demise. Draco killed in order to survive. His fear of the killing curse was a thing of the past. Now he spit on the dead body of anyone that got in his way. When he stared into their vacant eyes he felt nothing.
Living in the Shrieking Shack he struggled to get by, his fortune sitting in Gringotts untouched. The ministry would know he had been there if he dared retrieve some. Anger filled him and he slammed his fist into the wall over and over until his knuckles bled. Draco Malfoy forced to live like fucking scum.
"Fuck!" He swore again. He had no food. Tomorrow he would have to venture into Hogsmeade under a concealment charm. Draco often did this, to gain information or simply fight off boredom. He masqueraded as an unknown Slytherin Hogwarts student and was never questioned. After all, the school was rebuilt and the students were back for what would have been his final year.
He heard that Potter and Weasley didn't return, and instead took jobs at the Ministry as Aurors. He sneered at the thought. Potter the hero of the wizarding world. Of course he would be allowed the job without even taking his NEWTS. Draco was sick of the endless exceptions made for the boy wonder. As for Weasley, well it was a surprise to Draco that he was still alive. Probably wouldn't be without Potter and the girl.
Only Granger remained at Hogwarts. Bookworm, know-it-all she was. Draco imagined her in all her glory as Head Girl. The thought made him sick. Even though he no longer cared about blood status he still loathed her for her need to always be right and her affiliation with his enemies. He found her boring and pathetic. Granger was the only person to have beaten Draco in their class ranks. Many punishments dealt to him by Lucius were because of her. Still Draco knew Granger would always be weak and he used this to his advantage during their school days.
Eventually Draco quieted his thoughts and lay back down on the moth eaten couch resigning him to many sleepless hours before sunrise.
000
Meanwhile, Hermione Granger lay awake tossing and turning in her bed. The war was over but evil still haunted her dreams. Many death eaters were still on the run and various Voldemort support groups had sprung up all over the country causing problems for the Ministry. It was foolish of her to think that once the war was over prejudice would disappear. She worried about Harry and Ron, knowing it was foolish of them to take Auror positions when they had not finished their schooling. She of course had been offered a position as well, but how could she take it when there was still so much she didn't know.
Harry had sent her an owl earlier in the evening saying that Ron had been hurt on their last mission. They were ambushed by a group of eight death eaters. Hermione wondered if this could have been prevented with an extra year of schooling and knowledge. Surely they weren't as prepared as they could be. She had written him back asking if she should come to the Burrow. A reply never came. Still she had to trust them. After all Harry had ended the war.
Even all of this wasn't enough to wake Hermione from her slumber. It was her reoccurring nightmare that was more than enough. It had haunted her sleep for the past six months. Bellatrix's cold cackle and wild eyes leered at her and Hermione could still feel the hot breath on her face as she screamed. Bellatrix's death did nothing to soothe her. She reached down and traced her fingers over the scar. Mudblood. Sometimes she swore it still stung, still felt fresh. A constant reminder of the evil in the world.
Hermione climbed out of bed and went to sit in her favourite chair. When she entered her room for the first time and spotted it she had pulled the comfy green armchair over to her bedroom window and hadn't moved it since. She had indeed become Head Girl and even though it came as no surprise to her friends, Hermione was still greatly honoured.
Her room was on the fifth floor of the castle, away from Gryffindor tower. She appreciated the privacy knowing that sleeping in the dormitory now just wouldn't be the same. There was no Head Boy this year. With only a quarter of the students returning to Hogwarts after the battle another Head student wasn't necessary. This was the first time in Hogwarts history that there was only one Head elected.
McGonagall as the new Headmaster had proudly presented Hermione with the red and gold themed Head room. Bookshelves lined all four walls of the common room. In front of the fire was a plush red couch with five small pillows. On either side there was a red and gold stripped chair and footstool. The room came equipped with a small kitchen and bathroom. Her bedroom was off to the side. Her favourite part had to be her green chair. Hermione had already spent a lot of time there curled up thinking, reading, and worrying.
She had changed over the past year. Her hair grew long, much curlier than ever before but also less wild. Her brown eyes lost their sparkle and held a certain sadness that worried McGonagall. 'So much death for one so young' she often thought. Hermione grew thin from anxiety and lack of food. Her thoughts and Head Girl duties often made her forget to eat. And how many times had Ginny caught her cradling her arm with the scar, fingers covering the dirty word.
After the final battle, she and Ron tried at a relationship. Hermione had wanted it for so many years and they were happy. Though, eventually when Hermione knew she would return to Hogwarts and Ron to Auror training she had to end it for both their sakes. Ron fought her but Hermione did not want him to worry about her when he was off battling the remaining Death Eaters and Voldemort supporters. Still everyone believed they would work it out eventually. Hermione wasn't so sure.
She stared out her bedroom window into the forbidden forest lost in thought. Sighing eventually, she rose and rummaged around in her desk drawer for a dreamless drought potion. Her last one. She had not been using them sparingly as Madam Pomfrey advised. She downed it in one gulp then climbed back into bed. Hermione fell asleep, with tears in the corners of her eyes and the bottle still clasped in her hand.
000
Eventually Draco had fallen asleep, but now he rose to a sitting position on the couch drenched in a cold sweat. His knuckles were bruised and stained with dried blood but he did nothing to heal them. Sunlight streamed though the gaps in the closed shutters letting him know morning had come. He had dreamt about his father again and Lucius's cold words haunted him, "you are not worthy of the Malfoy name! You have betrayed us!"
Of course this was not a real memory. Draco left long before his father could find him to accuse him of such things. The room spun. Closing his eyes and rubbing his temples, he gave his head a quick shake before standing. Lack of food was making him weak.
If anyone were to look at Draco now they would see a very different man. He had always been muscular, with the body of a Seeker from Quidditch training, but now he had become thin and sickly. His hair was no longer slicked back in his signature look, it was mussed as if he had showered and not bothered to brush it. He had bags under his eyes from many sleepless nights. His eyes, always grey, had gained a darkness that went deep so that no one could look him in the eye for more than a few seconds. Even so, Draco was better looking than the average male and he knew it. Blame the Malfoy genes.
Casting the concealment charm upon himself Draco transformed himself into an unknown Slytherin student. His blonde hair became black and shoulder length. His grey eyes became squinty and brown. The disguise was simple and so far it was all he needed to slip by unnoticed.
Being careful to make sure no one was around, Draco exited the Shrieking Shack through the back from a board he had pried loose. It was snowing and the wind was harsh against his face. When he left the manor he had only time to grab his wand, some galleons, and his Hogwarts robes. Now he was wishing he had brought a warmer cloak.
Venturing into the street and blending into the crowd he made his way to The Hog's Head. It was always less busy than The Three Broomsticks, which was what he needed. Sitting in a corner he ordered the kidney pie and smacked his last few galleons on the table. Eating quickly, Draco began to formulate a plan to gain more coins. He was a Malfoy after all. Begging did not become him.
Draco looked around, the pub held only a couple of foreign wizards drinking firewhiskey at the bar. Other than that it was empty, quiet. Normally The Hog's Head would be filled with dark wizards but since the war ended they had either been caught or had gone into hiding. Draco considered killing the wizards and taking their coins but realized quickly that would draw the Ministry right to him.
He rose to his feet and exited the pub. Determined to put a new plan into action and steal a wizard's purse. On the streets a crowd was gathering around a boy selling The Daily Prophet.
"LUCIUS MALFOY GIVEN THIS KISS!"
The boy was shouting. People was grabbing papers and throwing galleons at the boy. Draco picked up a paper, unnoticed in all the commotion and turned his back to the crowd. His father's mug shot was on the front page. The war had not been kind to Lucius. A scowl was pasted on his face but his eyes were what drew Draco in. They were the eyes of a crazed man.
The moving photo started laughing hysterically. Frowning, Draco looked further down the page to see their most recent family photo. There was the Lucius he remembered, cold and calculating. Draco looked at himself. He looked too much like his father. The words under the photograph caught his attention.
DRACO MALFOY STILL AT LARGE: REWARD IF FOUND AND BROUGHT TO THE MINISTRY
Tossing the paper on the ground and abandoning his plan, Draco began his trek back to the Shrieking Shack. Shivering, he wiped the sheen from his forehead suddenly feeling dizzy. Taking another step the ground seemed to rise up to meet him. Draco heard a woman gasp and he groaned when he felt a sharp pain and wetness sliding down his neck. Then suddenly the world went dark.
000
Hermione sometimes took to helping Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing mornings before breakfast. Keeping busy was the only thing that would take her mind off her friends and the danger they were in. Hermione's stomach growled as made her rounds checking on the younger students. A nasty fever was going around and Hermione distracted herself by casting cooling charms on the patients. Suddenly she heard the doors of the hospital wing open with a bang and swivelled, wand raised in defense.
"Madam Pomfrey!" McGonagall was yelling, as she glided in. This was serious.
In walked a man holding what looked to be a Hogwarts student in his arms. Slytherin robes by green tint of the sleeves. Madam Pomfrey appeared from behind a curtain. And Hermione pocketed her wand.
"Quickly over here, place him on this bed." Pomfrey gestured. The man shuffled forward holding the boy in his arms. This looked to be quite difficult as the boy was the size of a grown man. Upon closer examination Hermione realized the boy was quite thin and probably wouldn't be as heavy as she initially thought. Placing him on the bed the man stepped back and frowned.
Madam Pomfrey, McGonagall, and the man started talking in hushed tones. Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtain around the bed when she caught Hermione staring. Still she tried to listen in.
"- found him in Hogsmeade."
"Looks starved to death - "
"- terribly high fever"
"Never seen him before..."
Eventually McGonagall and the man reappeared from behind the curtain. Hermione was certain McGonagall was thanking the man for finding the student. Her forehead was creased, a sure sign of confusion. The man nodded and walked out without a second glance. McGonagall turned toward Hermione,
"One of our students was found in Hogsmeade... How he managed to get out of the castle undetected is beyond me but we must strictly enforce the rules for the students own safety. Please make an announcement to the prefects at your meeting tonight."
"Yes, Professor. Who is the boy? He looks unfamiliar." Hermione questioned, knowing McGonagall was thinking the same thing.
"No matter who he is, he is a student here, and Pomfrey will see him healed." McGonagall tried to sooth Hermione's worries. The girl had so many already. "Now run along to breakfast before class, you're looking thin Miss Granger."
Hermione knew this was true and left with one last glance over her shoulder at the curtained bed. Down in the Great Hall Hermione sat across from Ginny at the Gryffindor table. After tossing a piece of toast onto Hermione's plate Ginny started to reach for the strawberry jam.
"You have to eat Hermione, you're looking sickly." Ginny threw her a concerned look as she spread the jam over Hermione's toast.
Hermione lost in thought, ignored the comment but thanked her anyway and took a bite, chewing slowly.
"Have you heard any news from Harry and Ron?" Hermione asked.
"I'm sure I'll get an owl any minute from Mum, Ron is probably doing much better Hermione."
"Right, right." Again Hermione drifted off. She didn't mention the boy in the hospital wing to Ginny. She thought McGonagall would have preferred his sudden appearance remain a secret from the students as to not worry them. Looking down for her schedule she realized she forgot her book bag in the hospital wing.
Ginny looked up as Hermione rose, "Where are you going? Breakfast isn't ov– "
"Forgot my bag, don't worry I'm eating see? I'll come see you tonight!" Hermione held up the piece of toast and took a bite, rushing out of the hall before Ginny could protest.
Hermione entered the hospital wing quietly as to not disturb the sick students. She found her bag where she left it beside the bed of a sleeping first year student. Grabbing it before the student realized she was there, she turned to exit when she saw the bed of the mystery boy still had the curtain closed around it. Wondering if he was awake and wanting a closer look, Hermione crept over and ducked inside the curtain, closing it behind her.
Letting out an audible gasp Hermione's toast slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. The student in the bed was no longer an unfamiliar face. Hermione fought the urge to scream in horror when she realized who it was in the bed. Draco Malfoy was back at Hogwarts.