Jessie rolled over on her back unable to sleep; there was so much running through her mind. James had been severely hurt and it was only by her own quick actions that he was now going to be okay. She couldn't believe how much James meant to her; she used to not let anyone in for fear of getting hurt. She did her best to keep a thick layer of steel around her heart but the thing kept breaking anyway.
She looked over at where James lay sleeping comfortably and let out a breath, he had protected her; no man had ever done that for her before. Then again he often did things she had never experienced from a male. There had been no defense against him, no way to keep him out, but then again had she ever really wanted to keep James out. He was so kind to her no matter how she treated him. She had given it a half-hearted attempt to push him away at first, but James never moved, never let her push him away, not completely. She wondered secretly why he ever put up with her and could find no answer. She didn't make caring about her easy anymore, she tried to keep everyone at arm's distance as a self-preservation measure but that had failed miserably with James.
She rolled over so her back was to him and was stunned when she felt something around her waist.
"Go to sleep, Jessie…"
Jessie looked over her shoulder to see that James had somehow come to rest behind her. She relaxed the muscles that had gone completely rigid when she first felt his touch. How had he gotten so close without her noticing? She normally hated being held this way because it put her in a position where she wasn't in control but for some reason having James there at her back felt right, felt good. She let her eyes drift shut but for some reason her mind was still restless with questions.
"Why, James…"
"Hum?" was his sleepy reply.
"Why do you put up with me?" she asked her voice tinged with pain.
She felt James' grip tighten around her waist.
"Do you really want the answer to that question?" James asked his voice sounding more alert.
"Yes… I need to know."
Jessie felt James' forehead against her shoulder.
"B… because… I love you."
Jessie's eyes snapped open in shock as James started to pull his arm away.
James started to pull away expecting Jessie's explosive temper to kick in, but that wasn't how she reacted. The first thing she did was grab his wrist to stop him.
"Don't go… I…" James noticed that her voice sounded anxious, weak beyond anything he had ever heard from her. "… I love you, too"
"Jessie…" he wasn't sure what to make of what was happening; he pulled her tighter to himself. The sound of her voice only slapped him with the fact that he knew so little about Jessie's childhood, she refused to speak of it, ever. Was she hurt by someone who she said those three little words to in the past?
"I'm not going anywhere." He assured her and felt her hand move from his wrist, but it was clear Jessie wasn't sure he wouldn't move as soon as she released him. James moved to reassure her by putting his hand over hers his fingers slipping between her own to lock in the grip then placed a gentle kiss on the soft skin where her neck and shoulder met. He knew she was afraid of something but not what.
"Why are you so frightened?" he whispered.
The question pulled Jessie up short, was it that obvious?
She sighed and answered "I'm afraid if my heart breaks one more time I… I'll never be able to put it back together."
James was stunned but let Jessie speak.
"First I lost my mom and ended up in that foster home and then it seemed like no one I ever tried to date really loved me… they either hurt me or left me… I can't do it anymore… I… I don't want to be alone but… I'm so afraid to let anyone in" the sobs came despite Jessie's best efforts to keep them down. James encouraged Jessie to face him and soon she was embracing him and sobbing into his chest. The sound of her sobs hurt more than James could have ever imagined. Never in his worst nightmare did he think Jessie had this much pain hidden deep inside of her, that her heart was that delicate. She had never been that candid with him before, that brutally honest about herself. She avoided speaking of her past like it was the plague until now, until that very moment when the dam broke and it all came tumbling out in one emotional confession.
Meowth watched as Jessie bore her heart to James, he was dumbfounded as well, he had always believed Jessie to be so strong, but now he was quickly learning otherwise. That she hid her pain so well that they had never suspected that she was hurting nearly as bad as she was. Sure there was the occasional bad night but due to her temper they never said anything, were those nights due to lack of sleep or nightmares?
James placed another soft kiss on the skin at the base of her neck as Jessie settled down.
"I promise you, Jessie, I'm not going anywhere." James vowed his tone like nothing she had ever heard from him.
James knew his words went a long way to reassure Jessie, but his actions that would heal her wounded heart.
Jessie nodded mutely against James' chest, she wanted to believe him but she had heard it before and her heart had doubts. Her mind kept reminding her that this was James and that he wouldn't lie to her about these things, but it was still hard for her.
James let out a long breath as Jessie's breathing took on the slow, rhythmic pattern of sleep.
"Why didn't you let me know this, Jessie?" he wondered so softly Meowth almost didn't hear it. "You didn't have to suffer in silence; I would have helped you had I known."
James watched as Meowth approached and curled up behind Jessie's knees as if to silently say he was there for her as well. He knew Meowth could be harsh at times but deep inside he cared about his friends and learning of Jessie's pain pushed him to be supportive of her.
'Never again will you have to face this world alone, Jessie, not so long as I live.' He vowed silently.
The End.
